General

Confessions pt. 2

Thunder_Thighs wrote
Just though of a funny one. I would choose a puppy over a baby any day so I might end up being one of those crazy old ladies with no children and 10 miniature size dogs that I talk to like theyre people hahaha


Very sensible! I always suspected that much of the world's troubles originate from the fact that we're all descended from the people who were daft enough to have children...
14 years

Confessions pt. 2

curseofcurves07 wrote
You should never have to change for anyone


QFT

smiley
14 years

Confessions pt. 2

Happy Burtday Amurrica

large cherry limeade - 900
sonic quarter pound coney dog - 810
sonic small mozzarella sticks - 440
ranch dipping sauce - 150
10 large strawberries - 90
2 cokes - 280
6 donut sticks (220 cal.per) - 1320

total calories for dinner-3990

Then I had half a gallon of ice cream. This is why I love days off.
14 years

Confessions pt. 2

Moonchild wrote


I ordered a chocolate pineapple limeade once and no joke everyone inside laughed at me. Joke's on them though, it was ***ing good.


ahahaha! That actually sounds awesome. I once wanted to order the watermelon chiller with a shot of strawberry and m&ms.

They put the m&m into a little cup.
I might try yours.
smiley
14 years

Confessions pt. 2

I confess I wish that I had more real life friends here.
I confess I feel really lonely.
I confess I wish my boyfriend was much more supportive of me...

But well... I would have to change to make all that happen.
14 years

Confessions pt. 2

AwakeAtNight wrote
First off, I'm suicidal(mainly just suicidal minded) but I have attempted a few times in the past and i'm pretty much always alone which just forces me to contemplate about actually going through with it.

My best friend has D.I.D.(Dissociative Identity Disorder) for those who don't know it means she has multiple personalities, and were very close and have been for years but one of the alters doesn't respect it and treats me like shit and we live together and sometimes when the alter is out she just doesn't come home and it makes me feel like i'm going insane because I have no idea what's going on and the alter doesn't make smart choices.

Also I have a very hard time being alone at night, my mind won't stop trying to convince me to just end it all.

Most people I come across treat me like absolute shit before even knowing me which is insane because i'm a very nice person and always try my hardest to help someone in need if i can.

My life is basically at a stand-still because no one wants to hire me and i've tried so hard to get a job and have gotten rejected so many times that right now I can't even try anymore so i'm just stuck with my parents. People usually judge me for being different, and it doesn't help that i didn't finish high school because of a learning disability.

Sorry if this is too long, I needed to do some venting.

Also generally I have a hard time trusting people because of past friendships and relationships.

I feel like i'm just not supposed to/allowed to be happy because everything always ends in tragedy.

Basically I feel like I live a cursed life.


*HUGZ*
14 years

Confessions pt. 2

Ikissedagirl wrote
7. I want to be loved.


I think everyone wants to...

<3 #14 smiley
14 years

Confessions pt. 2

Computersaysno wrote
In some ways, it's reassuring to hear that there are other people struggling in similar ways to yourself. However, I don't really want to be reassured like that because I'd prefer it if nobody had to experience it.


Well said.
14 years

Confessions pt. 2

1. I'm pretty sure I don't grok people. I can intellectually understand that "Person X is likely to do Y", and "People tend to do A, B, and F", but on an emotional level I "don't get it" most of the time. I'm very phlegmatic, relatively well-adjusted in most ways except socialization, and I don't understand why so many people - and I'm not even talking about here - let their emotions rule, and often destroy, them.

2. I've figured out that I am completely unbiased about fat - some people look their best at 80, some at 120, some at 150 or 180, some at 270. Same with intentional weight gain or stuffing. I can, and have been, attracted to girls who are skinny, have very short (crew-cut, practically) hair, are fit, etc - and I've been attracted to women who are 250 and wanting to gain several hundred more. For myself, I'm 250-260, and the only opinion I have about my being overweight is that if I want to start playing more laser tag, I need to improve my stamina, flexibility, and back muscles, which will probably lead to or require weight loss.

3. The woman I've found most attractive in body and personality, I'll probably never meet face to face but we occasionally chat online.

4. I've just about given up on meeting someone local who shares my interests and reciprocates my kinks well enough to understand me (I cannot sub; I do not care one way or the other about being a dom; if you're going to stuff or gain for me, do it for yourself too, or it won't turn me on).

5. Any woman who's shown interest in me that I have a chance of getting together with, has suddenly dumped me (usually playing the "I'm going to ignore you and pretend I never heard of you until the next time I need something" game). Fair enough, maybe there's something wrong with me or at least with my presentation of myself, but could at least one of them TELL me what that is, so maybe I stand a chance of fixing it?

6. Nor can I particularly seem to -care- about finding someone to spend my life with. Everyone seems to think it's a burning need. I don't. See confession #1.

7. I miss the 80s.

8. Similarly to 6 - despite having strong turn-ons and such, I have no interest in sex as a goal, only as a means to make a partner happier - whether that be orgasm, pregnancy, etc.

9. I have no idea what it means when a woman says, "I want a guy with ambition". To me, that means she thinks I should always be looking for the next promotion/raise/etc. All I care about, all I see any value in caring about, is: doing my job, doing it well, and that the employer is as loyal to me as I am to them - I'm a Hufflepuff, not a Slytherin. I've got a good job, why do I need to be playing politics to get a "better" one that I won't enjoy?

10. I'm fairly certain I'm some variety of Aspie. I've read the traits associated, and while I've learned, sometimes the hard way, how to deal with the associated problems, it still fits me very well, I think. Like others I've read about, I don't see it as a problem... except that I sometimes wish I could flip a switch for five minutes and understand why other people react to certain things the way they do.

11. I feel for some of the other people in this thread... not being someone who indulges in self-loathing for more than a few afternoons each year, I don't understand at all, but I feel sorry for those who hate themselves or their bodies.

12. I hate bugs. Spiders, roaches, flies, grasshoppers, any insect and most arachnids. Small crabs are kinda cool but that's it, anything else gets smashed. They terrify me. When I saw that there was a flying insect in my bedroom once, I could not sleep in that room that night. I had to sleep on the couch. I don't mind reading about spiders, but that's because they're usually anthropomorphized.

13. I love dogs and cats, but mostly dogs.

14. I love Transformers, Lego's, models, 3-D puzzles, and computers. They make sense to me, and all but the last appeal to my spacial reasoning skills.

15. I will always have a messy desk. At work, at home, the desktop on my computer, etc. Always. I don't understand why some people can't stand to have messy desks.
14 years

Confessions pt. 2

onlyinsecret800 wrote
Well, my confession is that while I think about this stuff on FF constantly, and all I really ever want to be is a stay-at-home feedee to a wonderful feeder...

I feel the pressure to do more. I'm in the top ten of my school and participate in tons of extra curricular activities and crap, and everyone thinks I can go really far in life, like becoming a doctor or something.

And I've considered becoming a doctor but I don't want to make a mistake and end up killing someone- it would haunt me forever.

And at the same time, I am incredibly lazy. I procrastinate to no end and I really only do the things I do in my school because I didn't trust anyone else to do them, but I'm lazy and really do not want to do any of the things I do. But the things I do give me power, and I like being able to do what I want.

Deep down though, my real desires are throwing away all my responsibilities and just being someones feedee. Because thats the only thing I knew I wanted to do from toddler age. I may have said "teacher, meteorologist, or doctor" but what I truly want is to be a feedee.

I just feel bad, I have a horrible guilt complex. Because I know I could do great things, save lives perhaps, and I have the talent and brains to do it..... but I dont WANT to do it. I'm throwing something that could be beneficial to the world away for my own personal wants, and I feel bad about it.

....sorry this went on forever. lol


You can't do both? Be a successful brilliant person who helps others while also be a lazy feedee who eats and grows for the sexual satisfaction of both yourself and your feeder?

Being fat doesn't have to stop anyone fulfilling thier dreams, unless you're talking about immobility of course. smiley
14 years
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