Sorry it took me so long to comment on this thread it's just that, as a female encourager, I couldn't get to my laptop because of all the willing feedees/bhms/fanmail I had to deal with first......
Far away hills, I'm afraid. It's frustrating for everyone because it does narrow the net when you're looking for; someone you click with, who has the same kink (rarer than you'd think),lives nearish. Couple this with the fact that initial contact is often an online format like this and LOTS of people (I'd like to hope myself included) are much easier to talk to in real life than in a html text box.
I think we all need to just start chatting up complete strangers with feedist chat up lines and see what happens. "Do you eat here often?..."