General

@BustingButtons

I think you're giving him a rather uncharitable interpretation. I don't see it the same way.



You're right that you shouldn't assume sex will happen after a date, but that's not what he's saying here. When he says "semi-platonic" and "with no assumption it will lead to sex", what he's trying to describe is having a long-term asexual relationship, despite not actually being asexual. Everyone has been advising him against this, because finding an asexual partner is probably going to be nearly as rare as finding a feedee in Sweden. Sexuality is a big component in most people's lives, including women, and everyone wants to feel desired. If his partner wasn't asexual, then she would probably be very unhappy and unfulfilled, as would he.



I think he was probably just being hyperbolic, but it's a known fact that there's a huge correlation between loneliness and depression, so mental health is a factor for everyone. I mean, if he really does think that if you don't have a partner you'll go insane, that's ridiculous. I just don't see a reason to take him that literal.

Given that he's not asking about a sexual relationship, I think the "friend zone" question was about whether an asexual relationship between non-asexual partners would inevitably just become a platonic friendship over time, as both of them slowly lost interest.

He might be an incel in the technical sense since he can't find a partner, but I don't hear their hateful rhetoric here. He's not asking "why won't women have sex with me?" but "can I find happiness if I give up on sex?"

Bro please just stop you should read what you’re writing you sound like such a clown.

We spoke, but this is the distillation of the whole thread. So either (as you defend) the blame lies predominantly with Northern European women, who fail to fall into the VERY narrow slot of “sparking your interest”, or the blame lies with you, who has created a situation where you can only be attracted to a tiny subset of the population. Most everyone in this thread has offered (good) advice, and for the most part, instead of being thoughtful and humble, you have tried to rebut the advice and build defenses around your current lifestyle.

If the status quo in your lovelife bothers you (and maybe it doesn’t, really, with how hard you defend it) you’re the only one who can change. You don’t have power or influence over millions of Scandinavian women. They won’t change for you.

You need to change.

(Please don’t try to equate this to homosexuality again. Queer folks don’t usually have trouble finding parters that meet their standards unless they have shame about their preferences or they construct such artificially high standards that there’s nobody who can meet them. The path to happiness, in both situations, is therapy).