Smolguy:
Sub feeder, was dom. Realized control in feedist realtionships is messy because its much like liontaming. This is from the perspective of a skinny feeder, large feedee and probably applies to most cases, but there are other edge cases where this doesnt apply for example short feedees and bodybuilder feeders.
Even if we play at it, feedees are ultimately the dominant in a relationship even if they hand the reigns over in the bedroom.
If you weigh a significant amount, you could literally hurt your partner just with your weight. The muscles needed to carry that body are by default going to be stronger than your partners unless they do physical labor or train to be stronger than you in the gym. Thats real power you have over them that you can choose to use. Usually people conflate lack of endurance with lack of strength, so don't be foold just cause you got out of breath. You moved your fat self that your partner couldn't budge.
The feeder is always being subserviant to the feedee outside the bedroom because they have to spend money and time making sure their feedee get enough calories, even if the feedee hands control for play.
The fact is, submission is always a choice, but I think that the negative association with fat influences some peoples decisons about how feedists relationships HAVE to be submissve fat person, dominant skinny person, we all know that the skinny person is in control as long as the fat person tolerates it.
Love that for you. Glad you find such joy in being a sub feeder. But as a domme feeder, I'll have to disagree on feeders always being subserviant.
My partner is my sub in the bedroom, but we are equals outside of it. He's more than twice my weight and is 7 inches taller than me. I'm stacked and jacked, but it's not like I can pick him up like a sack of potatoes.
Still, he treats me like a queen. In the bedroom, he worships me. My pleasure comes before his in all things.
Yes, he has the final say about what he wants done with his body, but that's how it's supposed to be. I'm a sadist, not an abuser.
I don't do submission. Tried it once. Didn't go well. The other guy ended up pinned to the matress in a choke hold, and he was a linebacker.
But when I am in domme-mode, I see myself as a queen. And a good queen takes care of those under her. My partner fully submits to my will because he knows he is safe with me. Tending to his needs isn't inherently submissive or dominate. It's just not being a shitty person.
