General

How do other people deal with this?

I just recently came to this conclusion. After almost a year of trying to meet new people, I came the conclusion I am ugly.

Its bad when people like at a small picture of you and decide you are too ugly to look at the full size. Same with sending pictures of me in emails.

Yeah man, it's tough being ridiculously good looking...
oh wait, wrong thread

Couldn't have said it better myself!

I would think that this site would be absolute proof of this little fact, anywhere else, most of us would probably be called ugly (due to our weight), yet here we find people looking at our pics, reading our posts, and enjoying our contributions (even if you aren't aware of it yourself.)

uhhh, I'm sorry to disagree with you Fawkesling, you easily have one of the prettiest faces on this site, or anywhere really.


Everyone has the abilty to be their own worst critic for sure. I certainly can be for myself, the main thing to remember is people also pick up on that, so it helps to at least act with an air of confidence even if on a particular day you aren't feeling it. It sems to work for me pretty well.

You just have to keep going. I dread when people ask me for a picture. Because the next thing that happens when I am Yahoo IM is "so and so signed out." Another conversation ruined by my picture.

To quote a notable woman, You're beautiful, you're beautiful, you're beautiful Damn-it!

Don't be so down on yourself. You've got a gorgeous face if the picture you posted is anything to go on!

Thats my problem. I don't think I am ugly. I am not stunning, i just think I am average.

I am naturally a little paranoid, always have been. Now when I send someone a picture and they say cute, I just assume they are being polite, not honest.

I agree with what a lot of people have said. I really do think all people are beautiful, or at least can be if they are clean and acceptably dressed. (Can't be doing with dirty and smelly and ratty, unless you have no access to water and soap.)

But I want to say something else. It's dangerous to measure yourself and your appeal by your success in online dating. For example, I've never been unsuccessful in dating terms, and while I've been insecure and uncertain just like everyone else, I've almost always had enough attention to be perfectly happy. At the moment, I'm not succeeding online--partly due to the fact that I have high standards, which seems to me like a good idea, and partly because luck is like that. Sometimes it just doesn't go your way.

Just remember, everytime you walk into a crowded room, someone in there thinks you're beautiful. So stand a bit straighter, and smile a bit, and play to your audience. You have nothing to feel insecure about.

In all seriousness, i use to think I was ugly. I never dated anyone until I was in college and my first girlfriend was a older woman with a kid, so yeah. After 4 years of weightlifting, and years of running and finding myself, working on how I wanted to look and what I thought looked good on my clothes wise...I found myself and who i wanted to be. Now a days I come off egotistical, but even now I have my days where I wish I looked like someone else.

Honestly, you just need to look how you want to look to be happy. For me, it was thin, fit, ateltic, long hair with skinny jeans, british hats and v neck shirts and dress shirts haha....I love vests as well....makes me feel fancy.

Bravo, leaf.

I think there's another confusion we should separate here. I used to love wearing makeup, and if I do say so myself, I got very good at putting it on. But I stopped wearing makeup years ago. (I always own a full 'kit', for the rare occasions when I do, but not everyday.)

I stopped because I got to the point where I felt ugly without it. And I have a lot of friends who do, including one who does, in my opinion, a *terrible* job of her makeup, but won't leave the house without it under ANY circumstances.

My point is not just about makeup, though. We live in a society organised around profit, and making us feel ugly and self-conscious is profitable. We buy diets, diet meals, makeup, hair stuff, hair removal stuff, skin stuff, foot stuff, nail stuff, and on and on and on. There are whole industries organised around keeping us insecure. And while you can't drop out of that, I try as much as possible not to participate and not to reinforce it inside myself.