General

True, but thats cause its a fetish site and stupid horny guys come here expecting to find women who are ok being treated like that, they can't seem to understand that NO ONE wants to be treated like that.

So, I did, and i'm still having the same problem, lol what do I say to these girls? >.<

First of all, it's endlessly intriguing to me that men in their late thirties and forties hope that young women will consider chatting with them, but that they feel just fine about blowing off women older than they. Intriguingly, lots and lots--though obviously not all--of young men are perfectly happy chatting with a 50 year old woman. I find the contradiction between those interesting--has something changed about age and women between those two generations? or do men's attitudes about age change as they get older? Curious.

Anyway, I think one of the problems this thread and others like it have is that it takes those of us who answer as if we are representative of all women on the site. But we're much more participatory, and more likely to have filled out dating ads and have info on our profiles, and so on.

For my two cents, if a woman hasn't filled out a dating ad, and you can't find info on her, then 'So, what brings you to the site?' seems like a perfectly fine question to ask. If there is more info available, then something more personalised is definitely in order.

OK, based on what you guys are saying let me try a few example pms. Ladies may critique and us men can learn how to speak to you in a way that garners a response.

(assume I'm a uk guy interested in chubbyhoney for the purposes of example)
Hello, Chubbyhoney, from what I have read on the forums you come off as a wonderfully strong and confident woman isn't afraid to express her opinion. I am also from the UK and would love to meet a woman like you who is happy with who she is. Perhaps we could get/go to (insert coffee, movie, whatever) sometime?
Can't wait to here back from you,
Robbie

OH GOD WHAT HAVE I DONE!? Seriously, I wish I'd known this sooner, I've put something similar to that in so many messages it's not even funny.

I disagree... I mean you can tell in a few messages if someone is being serious or not about just friendship/getting to know you.

I do admit that when I became single I was instantly flooded with messages, and if they want to be friends/get to know me- I ask them about themselves, and if they dodge questions continually and just ask me what I have eaten/how much I weight, ect... Then I know they were full of BS.
If you write clear, honest messages- which includes information about yourself, topics of interest for the both of you *this might be tough if they don't post or have any pictures/dating ad to go off- but nothing wrong with feeling around- asking about what they do, and explaining what you do...ect.*, and sincere wording... then you can just be friends.

An example? I recently have been talking to a Shned on here. He and I write books to each other and he hasn't asked me anything about my size, weight or goals.

Miles/oceans apart, but friends.

Do girls check out guys pictures on here?

I thought about taking some, so just wondering whether they'd be welcomed

I think its a matter of preference to be honest, i'm also a hairy guy, and am rather self conscience about it, although I don't shave it (lol I hate shaving my face once a week, I can' imagine trying to deal with the rest of my body ).

However I have heard women into both sides, ones who adore a smooth skinned guy to be close to and those who find such a thing less masculine. Girls who have no interest in "hairy bears" and those who are turned off by "hairless boys".

At the end of the day its your body, so if you feel more comfortable shaving the hair off, then do it and you will find women who appreciate it. Otherwise, if you'd rather not bother and just be hairy, you can do that too and you will also find female fans.

okay, so I've been going out with this girl for about a month-ish. A while ago, she said that she had something to tell me and to not get upset. No idea what the thing was, my first thought being thatthat she could be a ffa. That wasn't the thing, but she asked what I thought the thing was so I told her what I thought the thing could've been (just that I was aware of the existance of the term, I didn't want to get into all of this just yet).

So she said that she hadn't really noticed that I was a bigger guy, and when I told this to a guy in the chat rooms he said perhaps this wasn't the absoulute truth.


so just wanted to get another opinion:
-how much, do you think, did she notice?
-should I ever get into all of this? (I think she does actually like food, as we talked about tempation/indulgences once)
(btw the actual thing was that her friends had a contest of who culd ask a guy out first. Although she had feelings for me before and just used it as a trigger to come on to me)
one more thing- her relationship past is history, I get that. But she talks so much about how she was hurt by whatever happened and that's she's a different person because of it... how do I handle it?

My question is, do you girls think I should try to date. I ask because I really dont' think I'd be able to make it work with someone who wasn't into this scene.

But I'm also tired of being alone.