Gaining

Okay, I've been fascinated with weight gain for most of my adult life, but except for a couple pounds here and there I've always been very reluctant to intentionally gain. The biggest thing holding me back is the fear that it'll make it insurmountably harder to find a long term relationship. See, I've never been in a serious relationship. There's lots of reasons for that... being a lesbian TG person, being incredibly shy and quiet, being extremely kinky and fetishistic, among other things. None of these things makes it impossible to find a good relationship, but added up they do make the pool of potential partners rather small. And I know that being fat doesn't mean you'll never find someone, but it doesn't make it any easier either. The nagging worry always at the back of my mind is that the larger I grow, the less I'll appeal to anyone but FFA types. That makes the pool shrink even smaller than it already is. I'm already 36 and it makes me very unhappy to think I could be single for the rest of my life, big or small. I might find that I'd be happier in my skin if I got fatter, but I fear that it might also be cutting myself off from other avenues of happiness found by having a relationship. On the other hand, that relationship might never happen anyway, so I could just be depriving myself of something good for no good reason.

So my question is, is this all just groundless anxiety that I've built up entirely in my head, or is grounded in reality? Has anyone experienced this sort of worry? For those who have gained while single, do you find that's made it harder to find a compatible relationship? And if so, by only an insignificant amount, or was it substantially more difficult? Is it better to go ahead and gain and hope for the best, or ought I hold off until I find a relationship and see what happens then?

I've been meaning to post on this thread for the last few days but can't get my head in the right spot, thankfully though Alice has been great.

One former great poster around here used to say something along the lines of, if you are thin, fit or fat, you will always find people who find you attractive that way. He also said that if you want to attract a person while thin, why would they still be attracted to you if you got fat? People will be attracted to what they see, so if you are already fat, people who are attracted to you will have less problem with that then someone attracted to you while you were thin and then finds out you'd really rather be fat.

I know its so much easier said then done, but I think its good advice that is at least worth considering.

Good Luck, I struggle with the same dilemma.

I know I don't want to bring Facebook into this, but some posts should be thumbed up. There's some good advice here.

Here's the deal! Love yourself first! When you do that! It doesn't matter if you are fat or thin. I have never had problems finding dates not matter what size I am. Confidence and kindness draws in people to your life!