Gaining

If you are from St Louis, I would love to help you on your journey and see if I can help you feel a little better about the situation.

Any time you get close to a goal, you will naturally get scared a little bit. Whether you are scared that you will get there and become unhappy or just frustration setting in that you have gotten this close and what happens if you never get to the goal itself.

A lot of people go through the latter one when they start their final semester of college or other big events in their life.

It's something most of us go through,irrespective of size.You seem a nice person and you're beautiful..it'll happen when you least expect itxx

I suspect you feel lonely and sad b/c you are finally living out a deep desire, one you feel helpless to control and gives you immense pleasure, but can't share it with your partner...and that more than likely won't change. That conflict alone can make us feel guilty, alone and leaves us second-guessing our desires and actions. All I can say is no matter what you're feeling now, those feeling will even out over time. You may try to stop gaining but it won't last long b/c the desire is so deeply ingrained in us.
But from a purely selfish perspective, I sure hope you don't give up on your goal...that would be like dropping out of college with only 6 credit hours to go! LOL Now, let up

Congrats, great gain! You look fantastic.

But as much as I like this fetish or paraphilia or whatever it is I'll be the first to say that while it might contribute to your happiness it is not sufficient. Foodees, feedees, feeders are human beings. We have complex needs and becoming happy and staying that way is challenging for all of us. It's kind of the task of life really!

Good luck!