Gaining

I think that's a huge part of this taboo. If someone wants to be a feedee with a "goal" in mind, once they reach that goal if the feeder moves on then, so what? It was agreed upon in the first place, you got what you wanted and so did they.

The reality of the situation is that feeder/feedees are people too. They want to be loves and appreciated. Honestly, in my opinion, if there is not something in the relationship beyond the food and fattening aspect then both parties are wasting their time.

There is a HUGE line between the fantasy of fattening/being fattened, and actually doing it.

For me personaly I started as a guy who liked to see chubby women. My girlfriend at the time (now wife) started out as a curvy 120lbs, I loved seeing her grow to what she is today at 200lbs+. As she grew my preferences grew too. I now prefer a size 16-18 woman....I even look at women who are now 250lbs and think I would even like that more! Anyways everyone is different and I'm sure there are guys and girls who would take advantage of a person as you think...as someone already said their are predators everywhere!

I agree totally with this..

I never have been aware that I had feederistic feelings when I was in highschool. I just fancied the bigger girls in school or in a club.
Now I'm married for almost 15 years, and my wife was gaining slightly unintensionally, she enjoying her food. I always enjoyed that fact in silence, although she knew I liked bigger women more than the skinnier ones. When internet came into our lives (yes, I'm that old... lol) I discovered that feeding actually exists, but I never thought it would become reality in my live, I always thought it would stay a fantasy. She has always know that I'm on this site and on a dutch bbw-site. We also visited sometimes together some bbw-parties.
This fall being married for 14,5 years, we had a long, caring and loving nightly talk, about my fantasies and her love for food. Since that night, she's eating more, enjoying her food, and she claims the "side-effects" are there for me. I agree with that and it makes it even better, when she asks in late evening to make a fattening shake or serve her some donuts...

It now is a part of our relationship, but off-course there is much more loving and caring in a relationship that the feeder/foodee part. Off-course we have to stop when healthproblems appear. And off-course we have to stop when she's not feeling happy with it anymore. That is why we zet short goals. Just to have these moments to discuss, how she is feeling. We didn't have that moment yet, because we started only a short time ago.
Going back to the original question, feederism is a part of the lovelife and never the obsession, it just deepened our relation...

I've read some good responses already, so i'll keep my response short

don't base a relation on a fetish unless you only seek the fetish,
don't gain weight just to be with some one,
where people take risks there will be casualties

It is a problem when the person only likes the gain, not particularly the person, or the goal/result.

I know one woman who went from 300 to 600 with a feeder boyfriend. When she didn't want to gain any more, he dumped her. Her parents were already against her gain, so she had a falling out with them.

At 600, she could not work, and was pretty immobile, and had to go back to her parents in a "I told you so" environment.

She then had weight loss surgery and died from the complications.

A very sad situation indeed.

Bob

It is very sad... That is someting that I fear in being a feerder... Dumping because of not wanting to gain weight anymore is cruel and criminal...
It maybe strange from my keyboard but that feeder should be charged for guilt on death...
If anyone is in a feederistic relationship, there has to be totally faith in the partner... 100% shouldn't be enough...
I hope my dutch way of saying will be understood....

Practically, I sometimes worry about this regarding my own feelings towards weight gain as a feedee. I worry that once I've gained as much as I'm comfortable with that I wont know what to do. I don't want to return to miserable dieting again and I don't want to get into a cycle of yo-yo dieting just so that I have the freedom to gain again. (Though that's only because I hate the thought of losing weight and dieting because I do relate them to unhappiness.) This is why I would never intentionally gain weight though, I want to enjoy this freedom for as long as possible.

However, in terms of a relationship I don't find this a worry. I see my weight as a side effect of my happiness and security. As my relationship grows, I see my body grow, and I find it all very romantic. I also think that there is a stage when two people become so close and are able to share a life together, for example in the sense of marriage. The development stabilises, and in the same way, I expect so will my weight, because I would have acheived the ultimate level of security.

For me I suppose it may be different as I'm young. I've always thought that I'll be a fat wife and mother one day, so to me weight gain is just a natural part of growing up and becoming the fat woman that I want to be, and I find that very sexual. I don't have a weight goal; I just have a life goal. When I think of the future, of having a home and a family, being a fat woman is all part of that, and I find that romantic in its own way, different to the sexual side of weight gain.

I don't think the fetish will go away, as I'll always find being fat/getting fatter sexy. However, I think that once I'm as big as I'm going to get, there will be other advantages which appeal to the fetish that being smaller and gaining weight don't have. It'll be different, but not necessary less I think it also depends on how much of an FA the feeder is too, so that these pros and cons also apply to them.

Being an FA has absolutely nothing to do with not being a horrible person who kicks someone to the curb once your fantasies are no longer fully satisfied by them.

I think Ninja Sammich, put it best, saying that we break up for all different kinds of reasons. In many cases just gradually growing apart, to the point where you have very little left in common. Very often the case when people get married too young, or the relationship was based very much on great sex only.

The desire to get a relationship where everything is hearts and flowers for a very long time and meeting that perfect person doesn't help either. Sometimes we jump in as the person seems our ideal and it turns out they are nowhere near, because we were desperate to have a long term relationship at the time. Other times we are too cautious, when indeed the person who has many of the qualities we were really looking for, but were too scared to commit fully does arrive. We feel we were not ready and let a better relationship slip passed us.

Blame it on idealism, romance or lust, but whatever the reason, it's basically bad choosing in a lot of cases, but I really don't think it has too much to do with whether the person is an FA/Feeder, or Feedee. Someone who doesn't care for you when you have reached your goal wouldn't have cared for you anyway. They are just the charmers who would pull the plug on anyone, once they got bored with them.