I've been a longtime lurker on here and I feel like I'm closer to going back to gaining. So far I've cancelled my weight watchers membership...and I make it a point to eat desert after lunch and dinner and snacking more on chocolate during the day at work 
So my history:
In 1997 I started college at 222 lbs (I'm 5'7"
by 1999 I was down to 175 lbs (size 14)(didn't like dorm food). I think I always had a desire to stuff in me, as a child I used to stuff my shirt and shorts with pillows and waddle around rubbing my pretend belly. I was up one night and was playing on the internet and I discovered Yahoo Groups that featured feeders/feedees/weight gain. I was so mesmirized that I started going on more and more often and of course got to chatting with "feeders" who encouraged me to eat while chatting--talk about how arousing it was just snack and snack wo couting calories, then it was an adrenaline rush because I would run over to the campus store to buy ben & jerry's ice cream, pepsi, candy bars to binge on while everyone else in the dorm was sleeping (as if I was doing something naughty)...well by april 2002, I weighed 265 lbs and a size 24 with 42DDD boobs(love them!!)
So between 2012-2011 I've done various diets(LA Weight Loss, Seattle Sutton, Weight Watchers, Slim fast) and haven't been able to get below 225 lbs. I realize how much I love & miss food(love mexican & chinese buffets), miss that adrenaline rush that i got from binging. I always felt I couldn't gain while living at home, but now I'm in my own place and nothing is holding me back except for guilt (not sure from where) I know it's in me to gain....i find the massive bellies and rolls of fat on other members here very arousing...i even crave/dream of having a belly so round and heavy that it sits between my legs....i really wish i knew what's stopping me from taking the plunge?? Thanks for the read
So my history:
In 1997 I started college at 222 lbs (I'm 5'7"
by 1999 I was down to 175 lbs (size 14)(didn't like dorm food). I think I always had a desire to stuff in me, as a child I used to stuff my shirt and shorts with pillows and waddle around rubbing my pretend belly. I was up one night and was playing on the internet and I discovered Yahoo Groups that featured feeders/feedees/weight gain. I was so mesmirized that I started going on more and more often and of course got to chatting with "feeders" who encouraged me to eat while chatting--talk about how arousing it was just snack and snack wo couting calories, then it was an adrenaline rush because I would run over to the campus store to buy ben & jerry's ice cream, pepsi, candy bars to binge on while everyone else in the dorm was sleeping (as if I was doing something naughty)...well by april 2002, I weighed 265 lbs and a size 24 with 42DDD boobs(love them!!)So between 2012-2011 I've done various diets(LA Weight Loss, Seattle Sutton, Weight Watchers, Slim fast) and haven't been able to get below 225 lbs. I realize how much I love & miss food(love mexican & chinese buffets), miss that adrenaline rush that i got from binging. I always felt I couldn't gain while living at home, but now I'm in my own place and nothing is holding me back except for guilt (not sure from where) I know it's in me to gain....i find the massive bellies and rolls of fat on other members here very arousing...i even crave/dream of having a belly so round and heavy that it sits between my legs....i really wish i knew what's stopping me from taking the plunge?? Thanks for the read
12 years
