Gaining

Nothing wrong with taking a break to reassess everything. I gained from 145lbs to 165lbs and stopped for similar reasons.

I really don't like my fat face, I wish it was the one area I didn't gain, my family also started to make little comments to the side, but more out of concern for my health, probably the biggest thing that stopped me though was finding out from my doctor that my cholesterol had gone up. Gaining by gorging on fast food is not the best method.

The one thing I can't really relate to is your issue with the media. I mean, sure, sometimes I think I should have a strong chest and six pack for the sake of any girl I want to be with, but really, it doesn't matter.

A wise man once said on here, there will be people who find you attractive when you are thin and there are people who will find you attractive when you are fat, as well as every size inbetween.

I'm not sure, maybe it's a gender thing, more pressure is definitely put on women to be thin.

I think the best thing for you to do for now is to not focus on any weight change, going up or down and just take the time to enjoy your body as it is now, really get to know it, and in the process you may discover which way, if any, you'd like to go.

Also, not to be biased or anything, but losing weight is hard, dieting, exercising, etc, not to mention hardly any fun.

Good Luck!

I get this sort of thing too. Especially when I see myself in photos and my face looks so fat I hardly recognize myself. Mostly I just try not to think about it. I'm not sure if there's a way to completely overcome it, at least I haven't yet found a way myself. What I can recommend is staying at your current weight for a few more months or so. That can give you time to adjust to your new weight, and for your mind to get used to your appearance.

I think it's probably easier to get used to having a fatter face than it is to get used to dieting.

A few quick thoughts.

- You're 19 ( according to your profile). Overall weight tends to go on easy and come off hard. So really rushing gain now may not make a lot of sense anyway. You and your bc can each savour the memory of the fast twenty....because overall in life, you can't spend much of it gaining quickly.

- Along those lines....19 & 190 pounds. If you gained even ten a year going forward.....imagine 25, 30, 40.....

- Get your family off your back some by adopting healthier habits (more walking, less fast food, whatever) without making weight loss your goal. Will help you be healthy and plump going forward.

- You could perhaps plan short gaining intervals with your bc, something for you both to look forward too. ( "in the Christmas holidays I'm going to eat to gain. What can we plan to help pack on the pounds then?)

- At your weight and height I'd say you are hitting the upper limits of "normal" size. If/when you gain more you'llprobably start noticing differences in how you get treated. So maybe enjoy this soft and curvy but not blatantly far size for a bit?

As has been discussed a million times here, you can't control where the weight goes when you gain. If you are prone to gain weight in your face, you're going to have a fat face.

Anyone who gains weight on purpose is going to have to deal with friends and family and society. That is pretty much a given. If you have a thin skin, then gaining is not for you. Some people get turned on when people hassle them about their weight. For people who are not like that, then you need to set boundaries as to what is acceptable to talk about, and what isn't. Whether you are fat on purpose or not, you need to let people what discussing your weight is not acceptable. Unless you live with the person, you may need to leave if they do not respect your wishes.

I think to some degree we're our own worst critic when it comes to our own self image - and that can get amplified when you're going through a change as drastic as gaining weight.

I had flirted a few times with weight gain and didn't do it until a few years ago. I always backed off for any given reason - I wasn't filling out the way I had hoped or imagined when I was gaining, or I'd be sensitive to comments that were being made about me (even though that's what I fantasized about). I'd usually back off before I gained anything more than 20 or 30 lbs.

The reality of gaining weight never the ideal that we have in mind when we're fantasizing about growing fat. I liken it to be like if you were wearing a fat suit - there's a bit of comfort in the knowledge that you can take it off. But when you go through with gaining, you don't have that option, you have to live with it, and that takes a lot of adjusting to do. Part of that adjustment takes place in your own self acceptance, and believing in as positive a manner as possible in your decision to go through with getting fat. Seeing past those features you see as "flaws" and letting the cards fall where they may with how you're going to turn out.