Gaining

You have a pretty nice weight and you look great with the curves. But I am curious about how much you gained in 6 months as well as how light you were in your cheerleader days.

Mixed feelings here. At the time i'm embarrassed but at the same time it's not like i'm fatter by chance so it's a form of acknowledgenent of my efforts.

i'm mixed up all round: want to cut loose and really gain big time but can't get myself to do it.

Oh, I know the feeling. I was camping at a lake with my girlfriend when her parents reached us. They had not seen her daughter for a whole year, since we moved away, and she had been putting some meat on her bones in the meanwhile. It was just a few pounds at the beginning, bringing her at a normal weight instead of her usual thinness, so she paid no attention. But as months passed more pounds piled, and her curves blossomed. She wasn't complaining about her curves, but at a certain point started to remark with concern on her softening waist. Slowly she got that shapely, well-fed look I adore. Even a tad too much "well-fed" at the end of that year, as she remarked trying on her old bikini. But there was no time for dieting as we were packing and leaving for our vacation in a week. And there her parents caught us. Her mother was clearly surprised by how much softer she was looking. Decidedly her curves had developed and softened to the point she was spilling out of her bikini. Her bottom's strings were digging her sides, while her belly was bulging and looking jiggly. Her softened thighs and bum wasn't helping dissimulating her gain as well. Our small camp chair was pretty much hidden below their new spreading softness.
She wasn't fat, just a bit overweight in a not forgiving outfit. And that was a pleasure for me to see. But her mother sounded way more alarmed than pleased. "OMG girl! You plumped up so much, you are.. you are OVERFLOWING everywhere!" My gf was totally embarrassed as her mother kept asking how much had she gained, and just blurted out "not that much", but failed to convince her parents.
That evening we dined all together. Her mother was struggling to refrain from making any further comment, but after looking at her daughter enjoying her meal from the appetizer to the dessert, through a rich main course, and cleaning greedily all of her plates, couldn't help herself any longer, and sentenced "no surprise you have filled out so much girl, if that is the way you are eating every day at home, you won't fit in your clothes by the very next year."