I completely understand the way you feel with regard to not seeing yourself as being as big as others see you.
I was thin and muscular up until I was around 25/26 yrs of age. That was when I first put on a lot of weight. At first everyone that knew me saw the transformation which was a shock. My metabolism changed along with taking a desk job and no longer playing ball in college or working out. I get the initial shock and didn't actually believe it at first that I was that big.
Even after I gained a lot more later I had a hard time realizing I was actually that big. I clearly didn't think I was as big as someone I would see who actually weighed less at a similar height.
Today I go back and forth with gaining weight but really never get under 235 lbs. I have hit a bit over 250 lbs.a few times. Even at 235 lbs. I think other people see me as pretty big....partly because I am pretty muscular. But I don't feel nearly as big as most would think I am. I look at guys that seem way bigger than me and they way 200- 220 lbs. They look fat and over big and muscular. It's crazy after starting a weight lifting regiment again over the last two weeks I am gaining weight and my appetite has increased. I am struggling to button my slacks and I feel completely bloated after eating a good amount of food. I have not been below 225 lbs. For nearly 3 + yrs. now even with extreme attention to my diet and cardio.
I guess my set point is 235 Lbs. Now and who knows where I can build it to if I really tried.
