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Hi everyone!

I have a question I’d like to share with you and hear your opinion to: Do you think being a fat admirer is a fetish or a preference?

Just to be clear I’m not talking so much about gaining or feederism, but just the fat admiration.

Personally, I’ve always thought about my preference for bigger guys as just that: a preference, not really a fetish. But recently, during one of my Psychology classes, we were covering psychiatric disorders and the subject of paraphilia or sexual deviation came up.

According to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM) there are a couple of criteria that need to be met in order to speak of paraphilia (I noted them below). To me it doesn’t seem as if having a preference for a bigger partner really fits these paraphilia criteria and up till now, fat related issues aren’t mentioned in the DSM at all.

Nevertheless, my teacher said it’s actually a field of study at the moment whether or not fat admiration is also part of a mental deviation/disorder (they say it doesn’t stroke with the evolutionary /psychobiological predispositions of human beings that are known sofar etc.)
As for physical attraction, of course there are parts of a fat body we find attractive, that we won’t find as appealing in a slender physique, but isn’t that sort of the same way other women or men like to look at maybe a muscular guy’s six pack or any woman’s curves?

Looking at the criteria and then at the way larger people have been viewed as sexually preferable in several earlier times (for example the Rubenesque era) as well as in some (Middle-)Eastern and African cultures, I sort of think it’s strange that they’re now thinking about classifying fat admiration in itself as a mental deviation. Especially when obesity is no rarity in the Western world either…

So what do you think, is being a fat admirer a fetish or a preference? Is it justifiable that some Psychologists are actually thinking about writing it down as an official sexual deviation?

Looking forward to hearing your two cents!


DSM fetishism/partialism criteria are roughly stated as follows:

A. Intense sexually arousing fantasies, sexual behaviors and needs brought on by non-living/artificial objects (not specifically designed for sexual pleasure) or specific body parts for a period of at least 6 months.

B. A level of Impairment and significant suffering in social, relational, occupational or other important life areas.

I love this topic But I think your professors are talking about this in the wrong way, as modern psychology has a tendency to pathologise things that are common in the human experience. "Deviance" literally means to deviate from the norm. I love the DSM (it's some good reading!), but it doesn't attempt to define this supposed norm, and instead requires you gauge the impact of a condition on your life by it's negative repercussions. By psychology's standards, you don't have a fetish unless you have a problem with it. I say this all as I'm earning a B.Sc. in Psychology, for whatever that's worth.

From my experience and conversations with fellow deviants, I've settled on the following definitions for fetish and preference:

Fetish: an atypically strong attraction to something that is not [necessarily] inherently sexual. The stronger the fetish, the more stimulus by it is required to achieve sexual satisfaction.
ex: "I have a fetish for weight gain, so I have to think about getting fatter if I want to orgasm in a timely manner"

Preference: an object of desire, but not required to achieve sexual satisfaction.
ex: "I prefer men who are thin, but can be attracted to, aroused by, and satisfied by men who are not."

So with that, it is my personal belief that both fat admiration and feedism can be preferences or fetishes, depending on the strength / requirement that those be present to achieve sexual (and/or personal!) satisfaction

Its a preference. Every so often I do see a skinny woman I fancy - I used to have a terrible crush on Winona Ryder.