general

"coming out" as feeder/feedee1 week

ThinIce:
I think my new SO knows nothing about feeding. There are so many signs I've tried hopelessly to hide that I fantasize about being fed. He hasn't seemed to notice. Should I keep it secret, and if not, how do I even confess? What if he thinks it's gross? I won't gain unless he's ok with it but I don't even know how to start the conversation.


There are so many great opinions.....

Personally, I told my wife after some intimate dirty talk and she really liked the idea and still does. But on the other hand this would be a fun way as well. Just walk around regularly drinking very large cups of say milkshakes. Sooner or later your SO will ask what's up. Then just tell them you want a larger body and you think its cute. If they are into it, right on, if not at least you find out sooner than later.

Good luck!

"coming out" as feeder/feedee6 days

Influx:
As someone who needs to literally come out every time I do something as simple as going to the bank, this isn't the language to use.

You don't "come out" as a fetishist. You just express your sexual desires to someone you're intimate with.

Talking openly about sex is really a required part of being intimate with someone - unless it's a one-and-done thing, at which point you at least need to have a basic conversation about consent. But if it's someone you're intimate with and would like to share a fetish with in the long-term, having conversations based on sex isn't hard, or at least shouldn't be.

If you can't have these types of conversations with a partner, you might need to re-evaluate them as a partner. Sex and sexual needs should never be a taboo subject, and anyone who judges you when you try to approach the topic isn't mature enough to be in a longer-term intimate relationship anyways.


I get where you're coming from, but I have to slightly disagree. This is an unusual thing and while thicc is in, people still aren't usually trying to be fat. I agree that a partner should never judge you for this but it's difficult to find the courage to bring up this topic when you don't know if they will. We all know we shouldn't give a fuck about people who aren't good for us, but it's not as easy as saying "oh okay then bye" when you're in love. Some of us get lucky that our partners respond well. Others don't get that. I can't be the only person here who suffers from some form of anxiety and/or a fear of dying alone. It took me being frustrated by a year and a half of strong hints not being received to finally bring it up with my partner, at the risk of him thinking I'm a freak and not being willing to deal with it. I feel fortunate that it worked out.

"coming out" as feeder/feedee6 days

Dazedandconfused:
I get where you're coming from, but I have to slightly disagree. This is an unusual thing and while thicc is in, people still aren't usually trying to be fat. I agree that a partner should never judge you for this but it's difficult to find the courage to bring up this topic when you don't know if they will. We all know we shouldn't give a fuck about people who aren't good for us, but it's not as easy as saying "oh okay then bye" when you're in love. Some of us get lucky that our partners respond well. Others don't get that. I can't be the only person here who suffers from some form of anxiety and/or a fear of dying alone. It took me being frustrated by a year and a half of strong hints not being received to finally bring it up with my partner, at the risk of him thinking I'm a freak and not being willing to deal with it. I feel fortunate that it worked out.


That's still not coming out.

It's a sexual fetish/preference. The only people who ever need to know are the folks you want to be intimate with. Other than that, it's a non issue. It doesn't take any excessive bravery or courage - it just takes a better understanding and comfort with what you personally want in the bedroom. And, it takes an open line of communication between you and your partner, which is something you need to build anyways.

Coming out is something entirely different. I'm a transwoman. I had to announce the change to my entire office in order to do something as basic as using the correct bathroom. I have to inform the government, my bank, and so on to change my name and gender legally. My entire life will be a succession of repeated coming-out experiences, not all of which will be safe. I have been denied services because I came out as trans. I am discriminated against because I came out as trans. Legislation has to be drafted in order to protect my fundamental rights as a human being, rights that I enjoyed without hesitation before coming out as trans.

Coming out as LGBTQ+ threatens folks' employment, family connections, friendships, and depending on where you are in the world even health and life are at risk.

The worst that can happen if you "come out" as a feedist is your partner isn't interested anymore, and you might get laughed at.

The worst that can happen when I come out as transgender is that some bigot beats me into a coma.

"coming out" as feeder/feedee6 days

I should also add, I've expressed myself and my desires as a feedist to a couple of gf's I had since I was as young as 20 or 21.

I came out as trans at 30, late last year.

I had about 10 years of telling partners I was a feedist. Not every experience I had went well - one person I was just starting to see lost her shit and went on a verbal rampage, at which point I never saw her again.

I'm lucky to live in Canada and I've had a generally positive experience being openly trans for the last 5 months. But, I've had far more bad experiences with serious consequences being trans in 5 months, than I had in 10 years being feedist.

No one's saying having a sexual fetish that isn't mainstream isn't hard. But it still isn't akin to "coming out."

"coming out" as feeder/feedee6 days

I see. I didn't mean to question the struggles of a trans person who literally needs to come out for everything. I guess I misunderstood and assumed the second half of your original comment was unrelated to the semantics of "coming out," because that's all I was addressing. However, not trying to be an asshole, but I believe you would understand that you can't make a "my struggles are worse therefore yours are invalid" kind of judgment on someone. Not everyone holds the same values. You may have worried about what friends and family would think, or threats of violence (which is fair), whereas someone else may not even have family or friends or coworkers to worry about the opinion of. Whatever it is, you have no idea what someone else may be going through and how it may affect them, even if you would respond to the same thing differently.
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