General

Hello everyone. So I am right now have been thinking a lot about this fetish and what it means it my life. I have know for basically my whole life that I enjoyed a guy gaining weight (not myself). However this past year I have been really anxious and depressed because I feel like I need this fetish to be involved in a relationship i'm in or else I will feel unsatisfied.

The biggest thing that triggers the guilt is that I am encouraging someone to be unhealthy. I understand that this is something that I cannot change and will be with me the rest of my life but, I can't see myself ever being comfortable with it in real life even though I at the same time want to be okay with it. Am i a bad person because I want to get rid of my empathy and enjoy someone gaining weight? Is it even immoral to encourage to gain weight if its consensual?

And I am not trying to make any one feel bad about themselves? This is just my personal insecurities and issues. If anyone has experienced this any advice or input would be greatly appreciated because this has caused me so much anxiety recently and I have no one in real life to talk to about this because I feel so alone.

Some kinks or sexual orientations can be problematic that way. Remember that just because you are this way doesn’t mean you have to act on in in real life.

In a loving relationship sex is only a part of the relationship, not the center point. And in sex, your kink or fetish or orientation is again just a small part of that. Of all the things you’ll fall truly in love with with your partner, their kink will be one of the least important parts.

There are many levels and workarounds. My wife isn’t into this at all and I only discovered my preference for her being overweight when she set out to lose a lot of weight. After, she started to regain and I told her I prefer her with a bit of meat on her. She’s ok with that. I enable her gaining during the periods she herself doesn’t eat disciplined and support her when she diets.

So that is one way: someone who already eats/lives undisciplined, I think it’s ok to work with them.

You can grow someone by 10 lbs, have them lose it again, do it again. Indefinite feeder fun.

Role play. Use padding or bloating.

Read up on overweight, obesity, and health. At the upper range of Class 1 obesity my wife has healthier blood test results than I do. Obese unhealthy.

Think about diet as a way of eating, of living. You don’t have to grow your partner using a fast food diet. You can use a Mediterranean diet and still have them go up in weight but in a much healthier way.

If it something that you and the person you are with enjoy and want to do, you should go for it. As to feeling guilty part, there are healthy ways to gain weight ... or at least healthier.

Work out a plan for doing it in a healthy way and for staying on top of potential health issues that might arise. It will help ease the guilt and still ensure you are satisfied in the relationship.

Without getting too much into it, some ideas would be ... Skip the junk food, fast food, and processed food in general. They help with gain in the short term, but are super unhealthy in the long term.

Make things from scratch instead, using foods that are high in protein, high carb and fat, include lots of snacking, and don't be stingy with condiments, sauces, and seasonings.

It seems wrong and too easy, but you can gain weight healthy by sticking to food basics ... meat, fruits, vegetables, dairy, nuts and grains, and fats and oils. It's not how bad the food is for you, it is what is in it - calories, fat, etc. that matters.

I have health problems, unrelated to my weight, that prevent me from gaining weight, but which should also cause me to lose weight uncontrollably. I don't though. I have stayed the same weight for the last three years, despite being sick, by eating in the ways I just mentioned. I am overweight (265-275 range), but I don't have diabetes, I don't have heart problems or high blood pressure and I'm not currently at risk for any of those things.

For someone who doesn't have those same problems, they would gain and they would do it in a healthy way.

Other things to do would be to work in exercise, enough to keep them active and types that wouldn't necessarily cause weight loss, but muscle gain instead. Also, regular check-ups so that you catch potential health issues with weight gain and obesity early or before they happen, so you can make changes.

Just my two cents, hope it's helpful

Many of life’s activities have the consequence of possible harm. And yet we do these things because the pleasures outweigh the consequences.

We drive too fast, we rock climb, we ride horses and motorcycles, we swim in deep waters, we listen to loud music, we go sledding, we eat artery-clogging delicious foods, we bike without helmets, we have sex with lots and lots of people, we take all manner of drugs, we smoke and drink to excess.

This is life and what makes it fun and enjoyable.

Your question really is do you want a safe and sterile healthy existence for you and the one you love, or do you want to plunge into the pleasures this life offers human beings? Even if it means becoming unhealthy and possibly dying a bit early?

Run the calculus on which is more valuable:

1. A long life with few of the pleasures you really crave and thus a life of not being genuine.

Or

2. A life lived to its fullest with laughter, tears and pleasures immeasurable for both you and your love.

I think the possibility of living choice 1 could be more anxiety-provoking than heading to the buffet with your honey and going all-in for living as you both desire.