General

Kittenchub:
I had 2 completely separate awakenings to my fetish, about 19 years apart.

The first time I realized I had a fetish for bellies, weight gain, and such, I was extremely young, so young I don’t even remember it. It was just always there. My mom tells stories about how funny it was that when I was a toddler, I would rewind movies to rewatch the parts where a character overeats, gets fat, gets stuck in something because their belly is so big, etc. and that I would laugh and smile so much at those parts.

As I got a little older, I somehow innately knew I needed to keep this interest a secret. I would play alone in my room and act out fantasies with my dolls and stuffed animals. I never touched myself but I remember being physically turned on. I used a little tape recorder to record my stories while I roleplayed. I knew I was different and weird for liking these things, so I kept the tapes hidden.

I had all the typical interests. Stories, books, tv shows, and movies with fat themes would be reread/rewatched endlessly, and I loved the feeling I got each time I indulged. I had no desire to actually fatten myself, but I did like pretending to have a tummy ache and rubbing my own belly while moaning. I often padded while playing by myself or with friends too. Otherwise, my fetish was mostly based on admiration of others. I had a secret inner world of delightful fantasies.

Everything changed when I was about 8. We moved to a new house and my roleplaying tapes went missing. I tried to act normal as I asked my dad if he knew where they went, but I was obviously panicking. He sat me down and forced me to tell him what was on the tapes, but I didn’t even really know how to put it into words… I simply ended up saying, “I like fat people.” I was sobbing and humiliated. When he finally realized there was nothing dangerous on the tapes, he eased up and dropped the topic, but the damage was already done.

The shame I felt afterwards was so intense that I unintentionally repressed everything I had ever felt or thought or done about my belly fetish. I truly did not think about it for more than a decade. It was like I had deleted an entire part of my identity. Looking back on it now, I feel so sad for my younger self.

As a teenager, I had a vast, exploratory, and rocky sex life. I tried very hard to be “normal.” Even still, I did explore some more mainstream kinks, and some of them I really enjoyed. But nothing was ever like my belly fetish. With the repression of my belly fetish also came the repression of my bisexuality, so I only experimented with boys for the majority of my teen years.

I moved out of my parents house with my boyfriend at 18. One night, about a year into us living on our own, I was lying in bed with him sleeping next to me, exploring fetish content online. I came across something belly-related (I can’t even remember what now), and an overwhelming feeling of both familiarity and shame washed over me. It hit me so hard that I cried right then and there. A flood of memories came back to me- the play sessions as a kid, the cartoons and books, the tapes, the confrontation with my dad. I felt confused and disgusted with myself and horribly embarrassed and curious all at once.

I tried to push the fetish away again but it was like the floodgates had opened. I was so ashamed that I couldn’t talk about it at first, even with my boyfriend. I was so sure that this fetish made me a terrible person. But eventually the desire to explore it overpowered my feelings of shame, and I very, very, VERY slowly started to tell some of the closest people to me about it, eventually exploring it in small ways with sexual partners.

Now, at 27, I still struggle with shame, but it has lessened steadily over the years. I’ve even met a couple real life friends and partners who share my fetish and it has brought me so much joy. All my sexual partners now know about it and are extremely kind, respectful, and welcoming of my fantasies. I don’t engage in feedism in real life and I’m not sure I would want to, but I enjoy the fantasies and community so much. Just writing and posting this is evidence of how far I’ve come. I want to start posting my erotica and opening up more to this integral part of my sexuality. It’s a beautiful thing, really.

Nico777893:
I remember listening to the story of Hansel and Gretel when I was a kid, idk why that story just stuck with me, but that's definitely where it first started. I've always enjoyed the feeling of power dynamics, but I have never vulnerably explored my feeder fantasies in real life... I myself prefer to remain very athletic.

Bellyblubber:
I remember the exact moment that it felt like something really changed about my brain chemistry.

I was in kindergarten and I was out to eat with my friend and her mom, and her mom said about her, “Wow, Abigail’s already eaten so much I bet her belly’s grown three times it’s size!”

I laughed, but then I thought about it. I just remember feeling really funny inside and kinda warm and confused. Even that young I started doing a little experimentation to try to find out why I felt that way, but I didn’t know why. However, I gradually learned what stimulated that feeling the best. By the time I learned what sex and sexuality were I was already head over heels for weight gain, stuffing, and bellies, exploring myself to them before I knew that’s what I was doing.

When I found out that what I’d been doing with myself to thoughts about my friends was inherently sexual, I was terrified. That led to me feeling guilty for having any sexual feeling about anything or anyone at all. After that it took me a while to think about sexuality again at all, but mental images of full bellies and cartoons with exaggerated stuffings and weight gain haunted me and occasionally broke me. It was years before I let myself feel this way again and started working on a healthier relationship with my desires.

This fetish is even the reason I realized my bisexuality. Eventually I had to start wondering why I never stopped imagining other women getting stuffed and gaining. At first I just assumed it was a representation of me, but when I started to realize how I felt seeing other girls in my class in those situations, had to admit that maybe I was different than a lot of other people in my southern community.

Nowadays I’m pretty comfortable with what I like, I just don’t feel comfortable letting people irl know about it. I’ve come to terms with my sexuality including these BIG parts of it, and I’m pretty happy and I don’t feel guilty for being the way I am anymore. More recently (a couple years ago), I even started embricing the part of me that always wanted to gain weight for myself. I never could because of life circumstances, fear of judgement, etc., but now I’m really enjoying it.