Greetings y'all
Before I begin, I just want to say that having the 'fetish' of feederism is not a bad thing and that I am not judging anyone in or out of the community for what is or is not a turn on. What I am here to say is that although I've personally learned a lot about myself and what I like and how I've accepted that feedism is part of who I am, I am beginning my journey out of it.
To be frank, I always found it concerning how rare it is to see someone genuinely struggling to incorporate their fantasies into reality like I have. I'm sorry, but it doesn't matter how or in whatever way anyone tries to argue that fat isn't always that unhealthy, at the end of the day, it's unavoidable. Claiming that "Visceral fat is what's bad, if you focus on gaining subcutaneous fat you'll be fine!" is side stepping around the main problem, just like how vaping pretends to be a healthy alternative to smoking. The evidence just isn't there and theres just too much research that still needs to be done and I can't just hope that anecdotal evidence is enough and hope that getting fat in a certain way won't lead to an early death.
I cannot avoid the negative sides to obesity any longer and I can't pretend that I actually enjoy exploring feederism related things in real life. Literally everytime I've tried a stuffing, no matter how or what I eat, I always end up getting sick for a long time, and also may or may not puke. Even though I want to do it, no matter how small I try to start out or to ease into it slowly, it doesn't work. My body just can't handle this stuff and that's okay. I have yet to enjoy exploring things in real life rather than fantasy but it never really turns out the way you think it will.. it's just not for me.
Anyways, long story short, after doing some research for a while, I guess feederism for me is a paraphilia that just brings me too much distress no matter how I try to get around it. I've been seeing sex therapists for a year without making much progress, so I've asked my therapist in taking the next steps to sort of remove this paraphilia from my head. I just want to be healthy and happy, and I'm sorry to say this but I just can't be a part of this stuff anymore. Maybe I'll tell y'all how it goes but for now, I'll be on my way out.
Peace.
Before you ask:
-Yes I'm in a relationship, my gf is in psychology and she's been very helpful. I don't hide anything from her and although I love her, things have been complicated due to feederism. We are very active people and I have no intention of changing that for a fetish.
-I am not saying that there's anything wrong with feederism. What I'm saying is that in MY case, it has always brought me distress without very much genuine happiness or fulfillment. My body doesn't like it, and my brain can't get around the negative aspects of obesity and justify the acts of fattening myself or someone else up exclusively for sexual pleasure.
-There is so much more to fulfillment in relationships and sex than just satisfying a paraphilia. Much much much more.
-I'm leaving out a lot of details here to spare you all, I'm just explaining my take on this stuff.
Before I begin, I just want to say that having the 'fetish' of feederism is not a bad thing and that I am not judging anyone in or out of the community for what is or is not a turn on. What I am here to say is that although I've personally learned a lot about myself and what I like and how I've accepted that feedism is part of who I am, I am beginning my journey out of it.
To be frank, I always found it concerning how rare it is to see someone genuinely struggling to incorporate their fantasies into reality like I have. I'm sorry, but it doesn't matter how or in whatever way anyone tries to argue that fat isn't always that unhealthy, at the end of the day, it's unavoidable. Claiming that "Visceral fat is what's bad, if you focus on gaining subcutaneous fat you'll be fine!" is side stepping around the main problem, just like how vaping pretends to be a healthy alternative to smoking. The evidence just isn't there and theres just too much research that still needs to be done and I can't just hope that anecdotal evidence is enough and hope that getting fat in a certain way won't lead to an early death.
I cannot avoid the negative sides to obesity any longer and I can't pretend that I actually enjoy exploring feederism related things in real life. Literally everytime I've tried a stuffing, no matter how or what I eat, I always end up getting sick for a long time, and also may or may not puke. Even though I want to do it, no matter how small I try to start out or to ease into it slowly, it doesn't work. My body just can't handle this stuff and that's okay. I have yet to enjoy exploring things in real life rather than fantasy but it never really turns out the way you think it will.. it's just not for me.
Anyways, long story short, after doing some research for a while, I guess feederism for me is a paraphilia that just brings me too much distress no matter how I try to get around it. I've been seeing sex therapists for a year without making much progress, so I've asked my therapist in taking the next steps to sort of remove this paraphilia from my head. I just want to be healthy and happy, and I'm sorry to say this but I just can't be a part of this stuff anymore. Maybe I'll tell y'all how it goes but for now, I'll be on my way out.
Peace.
Before you ask:
-Yes I'm in a relationship, my gf is in psychology and she's been very helpful. I don't hide anything from her and although I love her, things have been complicated due to feederism. We are very active people and I have no intention of changing that for a fetish.
-I am not saying that there's anything wrong with feederism. What I'm saying is that in MY case, it has always brought me distress without very much genuine happiness or fulfillment. My body doesn't like it, and my brain can't get around the negative aspects of obesity and justify the acts of fattening myself or someone else up exclusively for sexual pleasure.
-There is so much more to fulfillment in relationships and sex than just satisfying a paraphilia. Much much much more.
-I'm leaving out a lot of details here to spare you all, I'm just explaining my take on this stuff.
4 years
