ashlee:
I sooo relate to this. I often have times where it hits me just how much I've gained. I will go to put on an old favorite outfit and start to do an activity that used to be easy (painting toenails, anyone?), and I realize how much I've let myself go. I will freak out. Start plotting my return to skinniness. All that.
But at the end of the day, I've come to terms with the new me. Freak outs aside, this is who I am. I love food and I love what is happening to my body.
But here's where it gets kind of weird for me… I have these times that are both embarrassing and exciting, times where I am ashamed and aroused by it. I will be out with friends and something will draw attention to my weight or my eating. In the same moment, I question my decision to do this AND feel reassured that I am so into this. Not sure if this makes any sense at all.
Is really usual this feeling. But more u gain, more time fly with your new fat body and more you will become usual for you and for others seeing the new 'you'. So just enjoy it, because stopping it will become really difficult and above all...why doing it when it s so attractive being full and big?
