General

Hello everyone, a bit about me I am 18 and in college. I am gay and have been aware of this fetish since a very young age. I became very proud of this fetish and had pride in it but over the last year a lot has changed.

Basically, I thought one day I will be in a relationship with a chubby or fat guy and things would be amazing. But, I just feel so guilty with this fetish. I just feel so bad about making someone unhealthy even if it is fully consensual.Like deep down it feels this is wrong but it also feels wrong to repess this part of myself. I also feel guilty about how just the thought of a guy and how they are fat just turns me on. It's like I don’t even think about the person themselves and it makes me feel terrible because I fear that I would just be incapable to be in a relationship with this fetish in my life. Like the thought of whom I was with would instantly arouse me and would I even think of them as a person. This makes me feel like a terrible person. I feel so guilty about being in a relationship that promotes gaining weight. I just don’t know how I can come to terms with this and how it will play out in the future.
I always hear stories about people in feederism relationships and they always go to the extreme. There was this one youtuber who I finally saw who was in a feedist relationship and it was really inspiring at first. He never wanted his girlfriend to be mordibly obese and wanted to keep her around 240 and his girlfriend was ok with that too. They both understood it was not the healthiest thing to do, but they were okay with it, but the guy recently stated how he was going to stop engaging in feederism. He believes that it is really impossible to be in a relationship with feederism as it took over his life. He said that he really just needs to repress this side of himself because he does not want to harm anybody else. He said that he felt that he was slowly killing her.

This broke my heart. This guy was someone who I looked up to and made me feel less alone because for a little bit, I felt that I could be happy and engage in feederism and not harm someone where they die super early and that everything would be okay. I don't know exactly why im writing this. Maybe it's to get some advice from other people into this fetish or what. I just feel like I’m going to die alone and that I just need to accept that because I feel like it is impossible to be in a relationship with a guy and not feel constantly guilty. Sorry if this makes anyone feel offended but I just needed to get this out there. This is really hurting right now. If anyone wants to talk it would be amazing to talk to people with similar preferences!

Honestly, I understand your struggles 100%. I also feel guilty about this fetish because everything about it seems so wrong, even though it feels so nice to indulge in. And yes, to an outsider this is all wrong and disgusting, but I really think for this to work, you'd have to find someone that is also into this and knows the risks. I feel like there would always be a lingering unhappiness if you think too much into it and try to avoid feederism because it is still a part of you. I believe there are ways to be healthy and fat, but your partner would never be able to reach more than a certain weight if you are concerned for their health. This fetish can be scary because it's addicting and so easy to go further than you meant to, but I believe that you are conscientious enough to take control and care for your partner above all else.

Of course you feel guilty about it. Society teaches us to conform, fall in line, follow the standard, and everyone else is a deviant or trouble maker. When you feel that pressure remember that you're a human, not a sheep, and you can make decisions for yourself. Don't get sucked into a life led by the old Japanese proverb that "the nail that stands out gets hammered down."

True, this fetish is not without health risks, but lots of people smoke, drink to excess, or drive recklessly all the time. Is this all that much more dangerous? Pick your poison, avoid other risks, and if you indulge a bit let it be for the one thing that really makes you happy. Just make sure there is trust and informed consent for everyone involved and there is no reason to feel guilty.

I like to think there are ways to engage in this more lightly. I'm actually only turned on when its under 250 lbs....but watching someone go from 150 to 200 or from 120 to 180 gets me incredibly aroused. And if somebody I was with did get huge I would most likely find myself into it (but wouldn't actively try to get them there)

There are times when I get obsessed with trying to "look good" and get my weight way down but I feel better bigger, I'm probably 150 now up from 120 and wouldn't mind a little more. I think you can find someone/s who wants to be a little bit bigger and is very appreciative that you are swooning over their curves, it can be heart opening too.... also very sexual but sharing sexuality is valid....

Zelda, of course it feels wrong. It is a bit wrong or 'naughty'. Most sexual things feel that way, that's probably a necessary part of it being sexual.

From a moral perspective is anyone being hurt by this and if so do they have a choice and how bad is the damage?

Getting fat and being fat may not be the most healthy thing you can do but the real problem is the perception people have. Mountain climbing is probably far more unhealthy. You can ruin your lungs through lack of oxygen or fall and injure or kill yourself, yet physical sport is seen as a virtuous healthy activity.

Enjoy the fact your fetish is 'naughty' and accept you may die doing what you enjoy. (could suffocate to death under a tonne of blubber)

Be bold enough to Just Do It (tm).