Gaining

this is all hitting very close to home this week, lol!

i totally see this now - it is like hitting a critical mass, and now it seems to just happen on its own. my appetite keeps my belly fueled, my metabolism is converting all the calories to fat, and it's almost a self- perpetuating system!

i keep thinking, "better slow down," but it never happens!

This is what your girlfriend meant by “the point of no return.” You can still break the cycle, of course - but it will require a major lifestyle change.

“Slowing down” is very difficult without lifestyle change because your growing belly has increased your appetite and daily calorie consumption while also slowing your calorie burning. Your fat cells have doubled and doubled again, and insulin resistance causes the "gain train" to gather speed, potentially fattening you up to weights that once seemed impossible.

To paraphrase Hemingway: "How did I get fat? First slowly, then suddenly."

YES

so it is like a snowball rolling down hill, reinforcing itself and gaining (no pun intended) momentum. i can totally feel this now.

the other thing is that, because not exercising takes no effort (by definition!), and it is so easy to derive pleasure from eating and drinking, it becomes habit-forming. now my routine of snacking, eating and drinking beer after i am done working is a delightful, joyful habit. i don't want to break it, i enjoy it... i just keep hoping my weight will plateau! lol

Such a good little feedee. Good job.

yes ma'am. thank you ma'am.

If it's any consolation, you're in good company: www.confessionpost.com/64539/my-husband-is-getting-fat

my girlfriend is officially smaller than she was when we met about 2 years ago. she's still a good deal bigger than i am, and still a ssbbw, but i am proud of how she has been managing her diet and fitness.

by comparison, i am at my fattest and heaviest - ever!

she is back to swimming now that pools have opened up, which is good for her joints & mobility. i have not joined her yet at the pool yet, but i intend to.

a few weeks ago she started to work out with weights, nothing serious but she wants to protect her joints and mobility since she has a fairly physical job.

she asked if i wanted to join her, but to be honest, i just can't face it. i used to be such a gym rat, i was there 3-4 times a week. when i first started to gain weight, i panicked and tried to go back to the gym to lose it, and get back in shape... i just couldn't do it. i was winded so easily, and the amount i could lift had diminished so much - i know it was pride, or ego, but i just felt like such a weakling. i couldn't be there. it felt so embarrassing.

i am only fatter now (probably 50 lbs+) and more out of shape now... and while the idea of how humiliating it would be is kind of a turn on, i just don't think i could go thru with it.

Are you still putting on weight?