Any feeders married to a non feedee?

Zelda64

Joined 4 years

How is that dynamic like. Is it difficult and how do you express your urges with someone not into the fetish?

4 years

Any feeders married to a non feedee?

Malvineous

Joined 17 years

Zelda64:
How is that dynamic like. Is it difficult and how do you express your urges with someone not into the fetish?

I wasn't married, but I have some experience with this. Obviously it depends a lot on your personalities and the strength of your relationship and your fetish, so maybe it can work for you. From what I've seen, most fat people not into feedism are unhappy with their bodies and want to lose weight. Even the ones who seem content with their bodies will eventually reach a moment of clarity where they're too fat to do something they used to, or they have a sobering doctor's visit, and now they want to lose all of the weight as quickly as possible.

You won't be able to just ignore it. It will be in your face at all times because their weight loss efforts will replace a lot of both their free time and conversation topics. They won't be able to enjoy anything food-related with you anymore, so a major way you interact with each other will have to change overnight. They will still expect you to be 110% supportive and happy for their weight loss. Even if you're happy for their happiness, it will be hard since they hate the very thing you're attracted to and are actively getting rid of it. If you try to express your desires to them, they will look at you like some kind of monster who wants to cause them harm for your own sick pleasure. Of course it doesn't bother them at all that you have to keep your entire sexuality (an important part of you) bottled up inside with no outlet just to spare their feelings. Even if you don't express any of this to them, they will be able to sense something's wrong. You will have to lie and pretend everything's fine of course, there's no way to make them understand what's bothering you. The forced secrecy will bother you even more than the weight loss does.

Resentment will start to creep in. You will find yourself secretly wishing that their diet will fail. For every pound they lose, you'll hope they gain back two. Wishing for your partner's failure is obviously really unhealthy for the relationship, and it will probably disintegrate on its own if neither of you ends it first. People say that sex (i.e. sexual compatibility) isn't everything in a relationship. They're only right in the same way that the bread isn't "everything" in a sandwich. Obviously you don't want your sandwich to be just bread, that would be boring. But it's still super important, because without it, the whole thing falls apart in your hands. (Did you like the food metaphor I just did there?) Honestly, if you're a feeder and you can't find a feedist relationship, it's easier to just be alone.

4 years

Any feeders married to a non feedee?

Zelda64

Joined 4 years

Midwestguy:
That’s a sad explanation but not wrong. My girl isn’t a feedee and it’s very difficult at times. I would lobe to even just experiment with stuffing to scratch my itch every now and then and she isn’t into any of it lol. So I’m here because it’s the only other option I have to scratch my feeder itch sometimes.

she wont engage at all. Im not even talking weight gain? she justs wants to be small?

4 years

Any feeders married to a non feedee?

Zelda64

Joined 4 years

NeverSayWhen:
I'm married to a non-feedee. It's not as grim as malvineous makes it out to be. When you've been with someone long enough there should be no secrets about what your partner likes sexually, and there should be willingness to please them sexually.

My wife is more than willing to try things in the bedroom. She is accepting of my fetish (although she does think it's weird). She lets me rub her belly and thighs, role-plays weight gain scenarios, and we've done sensual feeding a few times. She has put on about 50 lbs over the course of our 7 year relationship, but has made it clear that she doesn't want to get any bigger. Fortunately I like her at the size she is at (about 210lbs). Generally with a diet, she doesn't lose more than 10 lbs and her body stays in a pretty desirable range. But trying to control and nit pick at your partners will only breed resentment.

Occasionally she gets upset with her weight and wants to lose some. I am completely supportive and don't try to sabotage her. Trying to control someone else's body is the true recipe for ending a relationship.

When she loses weight, I try to gain some. Gaining is fun for me on it's own. You've gotta get your own rocks off sometimes, too.

I think the biggest key is to not make your entire sexual experience with your partner about weight gain. Non-feedee partners will have their own kinks and it's your job as a good boyfriend or husband to try to meet their needs too.

thanks for this everyone is making it sound like im going to be alone forevor lol.

4 years

Any feeders married to a non feedee?

Ditzy

Joined 10 years

18 is really young so don't worry about being alone.

4 years

Any feeders married to a non feedee?

Duncan

Joined 13 years

Maybe when you find your second half your love will be stronger than your fantasies? These can remain what they are: fantasies, and you can still be very happy and accomplished in your life.

I am convinced that many people out there have strange fetishisms though are able to live normally.

But let me highlight this again: being attracted to fat girls is normal, associating food to sex isn’t uncommon as well. Don’t worry about your future!

4 years

Any feeders married to a non feedee?

BBWcreator82

Joined 17 years

I'd say about 75% of the on here are in relationships with non-feeders. For most people this is just a secret thing they do. They'd never admit it to anyone, ever.

This is also why most people do the online thing only and ghost out on you at a moment's notice if things get too close to being discovered on their end.

I mean I get it, but it's also pretty frustrating.

4 years

Any feeders married to a non feedee?

Rickeb

Joined 12 years

DaniGirlOH:
I took "time off" for health reasons to have a healthy baby and my husband divorced me because for a brief period of time I stopped and lost weight. So it's very difficult.

He must be a Super Dick!

4 years

Any feeders married to a non feedee?

Fajames

Joined 8 years

If he was a Narc, you should be extremely happy he's out of your life !

Yeah well he was also a narcissist so when he found a coworker at work who was gaining he jumped ship. So I'm pretty bitter and keeping relationships casual now. Open dialogue is so important.

4 years

Any feeders married to a non feedee?

Duncan

Joined 13 years

littlePrincessK:
It's actually the other way for me. I'm a feedee in love with a non-feeder. He and I have been together for over eight years, and have lived together for seven. My weight has been up and down a lot over the years (mostly up) but he's never really found that "sexy" or the amount that I eat to be something he looks forward to. However, he's never put me down about my size or my eating habits either.
It does get lonely..not being able to share that part of me with him. I guess that's why I came to this site to make friends with the same interests as I do.
To make it work for me, I do secret stuffings while he is at work. And I'll admit, I've met a few people that I've had one night stuffings with, but that was a good few years ago.

This could describe my life... I started to be more in the feeder role, though it was kind of soft and subtile (I am not sure my wife knows at all the feedee/feeder community). Now after a few years it would be the opposite, I am more interested into gaining myself but this makes my wife indifferent. It can be hard sometimes, but I love her more than what I am missing.

4 years