subfeeder1994:
How can I feel less shame for liking this?
You have the perfect opportunity to prepare and to train yourself while you are still thin, which you very much are, even by non-FF standards, if your photos are recent.
You can start small, probing both yourself and others. You can still safely claim that you like eating a lot, most people will casually tell it doesn't seem to have an effect on you. By talking about it while you are thin and therefore it's not embarrassing, you can get comfortable in saying it and searching your feelings after you've said it.
Many thin women often pinch their skin and say that they've gained weight, if only for others to reassure them that they don't look fat. It's quite common, so if you asked "Am I looking fat in these clothes?", "I think I gained some weight", etc., people won't find it strange, and it won't be embarrassing, because many thin women say such things regularly. But you can use it to keep practicing saying that and taking note on how other people react and how you feel about it.
Therefore, if and when you gain enough weight for it to become visible, you won't be in the awkward situation of having to say something weight-related out loudly the first time in your life.
