all[/quote]psmyth:
This is my exact problem with feabie: it seems to be 95% desperate 19 to 25 year old people and that just isn't me. I am very happily married and 35 and trust me I don't wan't attention. I have been a member of DIMS for a really really long time and no drama or attention seeking there at all[/quote]
I can see your point. In fact, I notice that a substantial number of the women complain about the quality of the men they attract, even as they behave in a way that chases any good guys off.
You can't immediately call any guy who disagrees with you on anything, no matter how trivial, names up to and including full on verbal abuse, then expect other guys to line up to pursue you for a RL relationship.
The guys who want to get to know you, maybe have a real relationship with you, are going to avoid this conflict and abuse, leaving your suitors limited to the childish ones who just want to "dip their wick" and move on.
I can almost hear the protests "but if I found a GOOD guy I would not treat him like that!". But realize that your behavior online is an advertisement for YOU. If you advertise yourself as difficult who do you expect to respond?
The begging for money is kinda like that too. Guys looking for someone with similar interests for a real relationship are generally looking for a partner, not burden to carry. In general, if he is sending you money it is not to establish a relationship, it is to purchase entertainment.
Of course, this just feeds the resentment and fuels the same abuse that chased the good guys off in the first place.
Just seems like a lot of unhappy people doing things that feed the status quo of unhappiness. I wish they could break the cycle and be more happy and successful.
This is not to let the childish guys off the hook either, but most of the complaining is from the female perspective. The male kiddies just post dumb stuff and more on.
This is a LOT of what I see on Feabie, more so for the young folks, but sadly at all ages. I find myself narrowing my view there more and more all the time because I just don't want to even SEE all that nonsense, let alone participate.
This is my exact problem with feabie: it seems to be 95% desperate 19 to 25 year old people and that just isn't me. I am very happily married and 35 and trust me I don't wan't attention. I have been a member of DIMS for a really really long time and no drama or attention seeking there at all[/quote]
I can see your point. In fact, I notice that a substantial number of the women complain about the quality of the men they attract, even as they behave in a way that chases any good guys off.
You can't immediately call any guy who disagrees with you on anything, no matter how trivial, names up to and including full on verbal abuse, then expect other guys to line up to pursue you for a RL relationship.
The guys who want to get to know you, maybe have a real relationship with you, are going to avoid this conflict and abuse, leaving your suitors limited to the childish ones who just want to "dip their wick" and move on.
I can almost hear the protests "but if I found a GOOD guy I would not treat him like that!". But realize that your behavior online is an advertisement for YOU. If you advertise yourself as difficult who do you expect to respond?
The begging for money is kinda like that too. Guys looking for someone with similar interests for a real relationship are generally looking for a partner, not burden to carry. In general, if he is sending you money it is not to establish a relationship, it is to purchase entertainment.
Of course, this just feeds the resentment and fuels the same abuse that chased the good guys off in the first place.
Just seems like a lot of unhappy people doing things that feed the status quo of unhappiness. I wish they could break the cycle and be more happy and successful.
This is not to let the childish guys off the hook either, but most of the complaining is from the female perspective. The male kiddies just post dumb stuff and more on.
This is a LOT of what I see on Feabie, more so for the young folks, but sadly at all ages. I find myself narrowing my view there more and more all the time because I just don't want to even SEE all that nonsense, let alone participate.
4 years
