Things you need to know as a very fat girl
Finding a position to shave your legs is a new position in yoga. Boobs and belly get in the way.
Clothing with no spandex or elastic at all in it will never work. Tops need to have enough stretch to fit over the boobs and then attempt to cover the belly area. Remember to sit down in the shirt prior to leaving the house because as the belly flows out the buttons start popping. As for pants or jeans, you can fit them up over your hips and ass and then miracle of all times zip and button them, one good meal and there they go.
Forget about crossing your legs. Fat thighs and rolls around your hips make this almost impossible. Your belly will be pushed up into your throat. Not a good look.
You always sit with your legs spread wide open. You can say you want to air out all those parts but who are you fooling? Your fat belly needs the room to hang down. It’s already covering all those parts.
Beware of underwire bras. Yes I know those huge boobs need the support but not only does the underwire cut into the fat on your sides, it now has made two divets into your belly which starts right under your boobs.
Never buy anything with a side zipper. Just no. Your arm cannot reach across all of that belly to grab the zipper without causing internal damage.
Back to shaving. Shaving or trimming your pubes requires a third hand. One for the razor, one to pull the skin tight and one to hold your belly up off if it. Attempting to doing it flat on the bed helps but then you are drowning in your own belly.
Think of your growing collection of stretch marks as a modern art exhibit. They are all marks of excellence do wear them proudly.
Sweating in a room where people are wearing sweaters will become normal. At my age I can blame everything on menopause. You young girls just keep fanning yourselves saying how horny you are. That shuts it down in a second.
Giving yourself a pedicure is a thing of the past. You can’t even see your toes when you bend your head. If you really squash down the belly starts to climb into your throat. Do you honestly think you can apply polish?
Finding a position to shave your legs is a new position in yoga. Boobs and belly get in the way.
Clothing with no spandex or elastic at all in it will never work. Tops need to have enough stretch to fit over the boobs and then attempt to cover the belly area. Remember to sit down in the shirt prior to leaving the house because as the belly flows out the buttons start popping. As for pants or jeans, you can fit them up over your hips and ass and then miracle of all times zip and button them, one good meal and there they go.
Forget about crossing your legs. Fat thighs and rolls around your hips make this almost impossible. Your belly will be pushed up into your throat. Not a good look.
You always sit with your legs spread wide open. You can say you want to air out all those parts but who are you fooling? Your fat belly needs the room to hang down. It’s already covering all those parts.
Beware of underwire bras. Yes I know those huge boobs need the support but not only does the underwire cut into the fat on your sides, it now has made two divets into your belly which starts right under your boobs.
Never buy anything with a side zipper. Just no. Your arm cannot reach across all of that belly to grab the zipper without causing internal damage.
Back to shaving. Shaving or trimming your pubes requires a third hand. One for the razor, one to pull the skin tight and one to hold your belly up off if it. Attempting to doing it flat on the bed helps but then you are drowning in your own belly.
Think of your growing collection of stretch marks as a modern art exhibit. They are all marks of excellence do wear them proudly.
Sweating in a room where people are wearing sweaters will become normal. At my age I can blame everything on menopause. You young girls just keep fanning yourselves saying how horny you are. That shuts it down in a second.
Giving yourself a pedicure is a thing of the past. You can’t even see your toes when you bend your head. If you really squash down the belly starts to climb into your throat. Do you honestly think you can apply polish?
3 years
