General

Hello everyone im new here and fall onto the feeder side. So recently ive had a massive amount of anxiety thinking about how I feel like I will never have a proper relationship. I am worried that this fetish will ruin any relationship I will have in the future. Like If I date someone, I feel like I will feel obsessive about them getting fatter and not actually care about them as a person.

Also, what if they want to lose weight? Everyone here is talking about how their sexuality within this fetish has only gotten stronger or stayed the same as they have gotten older, and I feel like this will ruin any future relationships in the future. Did you have the same fears and later find a balance within a relationship? Im just scared im going to be alone forevor.

If anybody can relate to this or has any hopeful advice it would be greatly appreciated.

Yes, given the way you describe your feelings towards it, it’s possible this fetish will always have a place in your mind. The way I looked at it, back when I was on the road to getting over my anxiety about that, (you are not alone in this), was this:
If you’re after a monogamous/traditional type LTR, you neither need nor want *everyone* to be a viable partner - just one, maybe more throughout a lifetime. This kink/fetish/whatever you want to call it, gives us an opportunity to really whittle down our prospective dating pools. True, this also often acts as a downside. But in my experience it’s nowhere near as disheartening than trying to find FA’s on normal dating apps.

Your other option is to choose not to acknowledge your fetish, and practice ignoring it by living a romantically and sexually more vanilla lifestyle. Plenty of people are closet feedists; I was though all my relationships before I decided to give gaining a go. Personally I thought both then and now (over 150lbs later!), that to live like that is a waste of a life. Not just because of the kind of relationships I’ve gotten to have since, either. I’ve been living my best life this whole time, single or otherwise.
Hope this helps 😊

DO you think I can find a partner though who will engage in this with me or are you telling me to be single forevor?

First you must admit that this fetish is something that registers with you and that it gives off a dopamine and serotonin boost just like it does us but it doesn't have to take over everything within your life but I do think that one has to go through the obsession stage to be able to harness it because for some of it is the essence of who we are. I have always dreamt of myself as obese and an older female whom I dated showed me the psychedelic aspect of gaining and I confirmed for a job and after my best friend died it showed me that I could not go on without being what I once was but I didn't want to go over board. My limit will always be five hundred but when I feel like losing then I do and when I feel like gaining then I do but I harness it an it took practice but I never let the obsession take over because I have that same trait to completely let go like immobile folks do but I can be immobile. I can have a hanging gut and waddle but immobile is too much for me. As far as the relationship aspect, I would say either date within the community or date cultures who would appreciate it because that is what I did and I only date women who enjoy fat men....

Well said and spot on