TheDemolitionMann:
As a Dom myself, I would say reading your partner's non-verbal cues is something will help you the most if you are worried about him not being able to communicate. Personally, I would say operate in a space you are comfortable with to learn his cues first. You can even dress it up as training if you'd like. And then introduce feedism type stuff when you are comfortable and trust each other a good deal. That is half the battle with great D/S relationships, trust. The other half is communication. So also listen to him as well, see where he is at and what he wants to do and try.
Chrissmithy:
Thank you. I really appreciate this... In a way "carry on as you normally would" (because this is what I'd normally do without the feedist aspect) is an extreme relief. And thank you also for understanding the core issue and setting my mind at ease.
TheDemolitionMann:
No problem at all. Exactly carry on as you would but with the mindset that feedism will eventually make its debut, if you will. I get the sense you don't want to go in guns ablazing because in kink play people can literally die if you are not safe and careful. Additionally, going too hard the first time may leave your sub disappointed with subsequent sessions which leads to pushing harder which can lead to injury.
Perhaps set up a non-verbal safeword if you will. My partner and I have a safeword and if she cannot speak, a physical indicator as well just in case cause, sometimes Doms can get a little lost in the sauce as well. But learning what makes your partner tick, allows you as the Dom to do what you do best. And it seems like you know how to do a good chunk of that as well as what to look for. So I think you got this, and he will be quite happy with your treatment of him.
Chrissmithy:
Thank you. Non verbal safeword is a great idea. You're completely correct about Doms getting lost in the sauce as well... I've had some very confused subs in the past wondering why I also insist on my own traffic light system in case I'm getting overwhelemed too. And yes, it is the literal "if you push too far, someone can die" and I'm experienced enough to steer well clear of those limits in bdsm, but in this with potential damage occurring internally... Yeah, wound self up like there was no tomorrow. Thanks a million.
TheDemolitionMann:
I would also explain this to your sub and the reasons so he knows where your head is at and why. It will both help put him at ease, and maybe just maybe, excite him more cause there is a reward at the end of the tunnel if all goes well. Lol
As a Dom myself, I would say reading your partner's non-verbal cues is something will help you the most if you are worried about him not being able to communicate. Personally, I would say operate in a space you are comfortable with to learn his cues first. You can even dress it up as training if you'd like. And then introduce feedism type stuff when you are comfortable and trust each other a good deal. That is half the battle with great D/S relationships, trust. The other half is communication. So also listen to him as well, see where he is at and what he wants to do and try.
Chrissmithy:
Thank you. I really appreciate this... In a way "carry on as you normally would" (because this is what I'd normally do without the feedist aspect) is an extreme relief. And thank you also for understanding the core issue and setting my mind at ease.
TheDemolitionMann:
No problem at all. Exactly carry on as you would but with the mindset that feedism will eventually make its debut, if you will. I get the sense you don't want to go in guns ablazing because in kink play people can literally die if you are not safe and careful. Additionally, going too hard the first time may leave your sub disappointed with subsequent sessions which leads to pushing harder which can lead to injury.
Perhaps set up a non-verbal safeword if you will. My partner and I have a safeword and if she cannot speak, a physical indicator as well just in case cause, sometimes Doms can get a little lost in the sauce as well. But learning what makes your partner tick, allows you as the Dom to do what you do best. And it seems like you know how to do a good chunk of that as well as what to look for. So I think you got this, and he will be quite happy with your treatment of him.
Chrissmithy:
Thank you. Non verbal safeword is a great idea. You're completely correct about Doms getting lost in the sauce as well... I've had some very confused subs in the past wondering why I also insist on my own traffic light system in case I'm getting overwhelemed too. And yes, it is the literal "if you push too far, someone can die" and I'm experienced enough to steer well clear of those limits in bdsm, but in this with potential damage occurring internally... Yeah, wound self up like there was no tomorrow. Thanks a million.
TheDemolitionMann:
I would also explain this to your sub and the reasons so he knows where your head is at and why. It will both help put him at ease, and maybe just maybe, excite him more cause there is a reward at the end of the tunnel if all goes well. Lol
Good thought!
3 years
