General

c00kie:
Do you not think if FA's / Feeders didn't act ashamed of liking bigger people or consider the thoughts of random-ers / family friends more important than their own preferences that maybe... JUST maybe, bigger people would be more confident.

Having to deal with general society pulling us down, marketing, advertising and popular culture dragging us down by shaming or excluding us takes it's toll... But what is worse is people who actually LIKE fat people and want relationships with us then don't support us, stick up for us, don't chat us up, hide their feelings etc... ALL of that contributes to us feeling unworthy, not wanting to be touched and hating ourselves.

So if you want fat people to be confident and happy... don't hide us away, don't hide your feelings and preferences away. Because fitting in with the norm is not going to change peoples perspectives on fat people and you will always feel ashamed. Help to create a world where being fat is accepted... Maybe then you can find more people that don't shy away when you touch the very thing that you find sexy.[/quote]

First of all, you are right and I am not saying otherwise.

Personally, I have been fat for most of my childhoon, teens and early 20s so I know how bad society treats fat people for being fat.

Maybe because of that it is easier for me to go for the women I find sexy and disregard society's judgement because I've come to realise that is the only way to be happy with your romantic life (I'm sure it is not the case for most FA's but can only speak from my own POV).

I can only speak for myself but I've never gave a damn about what ppl think so if I see a woman in public that I'm attracted to I'm gonna shoot my shot....problem is, where I live it seems the women I'm attracted to are always taken

Lots of good replies. This is one of those convoluted arenas honestly...

I def know there are awesome women out there who love being fat and are beautiful as all getout...

But, if I had to really pin one thing - It would be that like 99% of the time I ever 'flirted', or attempted to, with a sexy fat girl, has been a disaster. Why? Because practically the vast majority of them hate their body, and consequentially so, the reaction to the flirtation is never good.

This is worst in person, but even on so called 'fat' dating sites, the vast majority of girls throw that "just want to be accepted for who I am" phrase out there, and are just put off by even the slightest mention of actually loving their sexiness.

I'm tired and probably rambling, but yeah. I wish there could be heaps more openness honestly.

To add to that, it seems there is no median, because the ones who are open, more often then not go the route of selling photos and etc etc. Or are taken lol, gotta throw that one in there too.

As previously menitoned, society is so engrained in 'normality'... Normal sucks, if you are very open, that is awesome, should be more in the world like you

I would say probably because FA's have gone through a similar, tho definitely different, experience to larger people. Cultural pressure, you get teased, bullied. People either learn to hide it, or overcome it. That kind of pressure applies to a lot of cultural minorities.

I got made fun of it from my teen years so I hid my feelings for fat girls for years.

Then in 2006ish I found Yahoo groups and Facebook groups for guys who loved fat girls so I realised I wasn't the only fat admirer in the world.

Then the Facebook era came and some people found out about my preferences to larger ladies due to Facebook groups I joined. So I was branded a "fetishist" because of my preference.

Nower days I just tell people I don't judge on size so it saves me sounding like a fetishist. Though most my close friends and family know my preferences for big women.

But I'm a fat admirer and proud!

I've been open about my preferences since middle school. Which did no go over well. That being said, FA's are 'so closeted' because they've been told they're mentally ill monsters their entire lives, and over half the fat girls they are attracted to and approach to tend to agree. So even in their own tribe, they're outcasts. Even on Feabie and FF to some extent. There's just very few places on earth where you can 100% embrace your fat sexual identity, and have it be 100% reciprocated. Which is incredibly frustrating. I feel like a fucking alien most days. Imagine how fucking awesome it must be to walk into a club full of hot people that you are into, and all of them are on board with the fact that they're as hot as you think they are. A situation I'm likely never to encounter unless I spend thousands to go to Vegas for a bash. But for normal people, there's literally thousands of clubs in every city that cater to this

That's just not in the cards for most FA's

I am lucky enough to be able to embrace a fat girl's belly after a year of dating her. Because that's how long it usually takes to convince her I don't think she's a "disgusting piece of shit". Being with someone turned on by being fat? I've got a better chance of winning the lottery. I fucking love fat girls, but god damn it, it is an isolating thing to be into. I'm 30 years old, been open about being an FA for almost 15 years. Yet I still basically need to 'apologize' for being an FA to everyone, including and most importantly: fat girls

And I totally get it, being fat is totally harder than being attracted to fatness. It's just a shitty situation all around, in my opinion. I'd just love to live in a world where embracing and exploring my sexuality didn't feel like being a negotiator trying to convince a bank robber to let go of the hostages and give themselves up, because I totally have an airplane waiting for them and am NOT gonna arrest em

Hopefully the answers will keep coming in, because they’re likely to differ.

I’m such a societal outsider that i personally don’t give a fig about fitting in, though that’s a perceived legit concern for many.



On the flirting thing, I still remember going to a cousins wedding and one of the brides friends was (as I'd later find out) hitting on and flirting with me only for my brother to point it out the next day....

Still kick myself over that on occasion.

I think that is a great standard to have! You should never date anyone who is ashamed of you!

My answer to this question in short is most guys don’t have balls, period. It’s pathetic. Who are they hanging out with that is so judgmental? Like maybe get some new friends?

That’s awesome!!!

That makes perfect sense and I totally agree!!!