General

My boyfriend is currently 6 ft tall, 308 lbs and isn’t into feederism. He knows that I have a thing for fat/obese guys and weight gain, but but he wants to lose weight for health purposes (preventing diabetes). He’s accepting of my preferences, and even told me that he doesn’t plan to drop below 250 lbs, but I can’t help but feel anxious, as if I’m losing a part of him that I adore and will deeply miss. My weight preference for guys ranges between 300 lbs-400 lbs, with the 330-350 lbs range being my ideal. I just wish he’d not fall below 300. Like, losing approximately 60 lbs is so drastic. It’s upsetting to me. I love caressing his stomach and just the sight of it can easily turn me on.

I kind of hate myself for being this way. I’ve looked up posts about healthy weight gain on here and have done some research on whether it’s possible to be healthy at 300 lbs, but the fact of the matter is, it really doesn’t seem to be. I truly, deeply wish it was. A part of me wants to suggest maybe not falling below 275 lbs, but I’m afraid even that might be too big a loss. He’s just so perfect to me the way he is. I truly love him and care about his health and well-being, which makes me feel even worse about how much this is stressing me out. Maybe he won’t lose the weight quickly. Maybe he’ll eventually gain it back. Either way, I feel trapped between my sexual desire for him at this weight and my concerns for his health. I don’t know...has anyone else gone through something like this? I know that for some people it isn’t such a big deal. I would never break up with him over this, I’m just trying to figure out how to cope.

Yea. The medical concerns are manageable. The sexual desire can’t be managed as easily and it should be fulfilled. If your sweet spot is 330-350, feed him there and make sure he takes his meds

It's possible to reduce the risk to health by avoiding too much sugar in the diet and keeping to low GI carbs will help avoid diabetes. He can still gain by eating plenty of protein and fats. I eat a lot of nuts and cream to gain. Some exercise is also beneficial.

Are you really serious?!?! Her sexual sexual desire is more important than his LIFE. I'm sorry, that is sick!

Does no one have an imagination at all? Does everything have to be %100 real all the time?

Maybe you should get another boyfriend.
My husband has had diabetes for years and finally is doing something about it. And I'm really happy. He also doesn't want to go below 250, he is 5'9. He has already lost about 30 lbs and Honestly I barely notice a difference. To me as long as someone is chubby that is good for me. I love him and want him to be happy and be around for a long, long time. I'm glad he is doing something to prevent the worse consequences later on.
Look up the loss of limbs and vision associated with diabetes. Not too sexy, huh?

She was only taking about a small gain. It hardly would have an impact on his risk of diabetes. But if it has a dramatic effect on sexual desire then that would have to be looked at closely

Everybody is different. I used to have the same doctor as my friend. Hes 5'5" 165 and I'm 6'4" 425. We had similar blood pressures and blood sugars, both well under the threshold but the doctor was pushing these metformin and other things for us to take. I switched doctors. If you eat and exercise daily, you can still wind up being a diabetic. You cant fight genetics or time.

But I always find it interesting, alot of the women that are still active here, yet have a significant other commonly run into similar issues. You couldn't find a guy here that actually wants to get fat regardless of stuff like that? Doctors get paid to push pills. I know this because I was a pharmaceutical rep. Somewhere between 2/3rds to 85% of the country is considered prediabetic. It's like BMI. I have friends that run triathlons yet their height weight combo makes them obese. Its manipulation of data. Now if your boyfriend routinely has a resting blood sugar of like 220, then you have an issue. That's the body not breaking it down. But everybody's blood sugar spikes when they eat.

I know exactly how you feel. My so once lost about 20 pounds and I felt like my insides were being twisted inside out. It doesn't help that you know it's an irrational response, and you truly just want to support them in what will make them happy and be best for them. In my case she gained it all back and more very quickly so it wasn't a big deal, but if it happened again I would need to find some way to deal with it.

You could try looking into seeing if a psychotherapist or even clinical hypnotherapist could help. You probably would need to try a few things to find something that helps, given how deeply this is engrained in us.
Many feeders also have latent feedee tendencies too. If this happens to be the case for you, then you could also explore a switching of roles to scratch that itch, if he's open to it.

She is saying he wants to lose weight for health reasons such as preventing diabetes. And she is scared that the weight loss will make it hard for her to still be attracted to him.

I understand that concern but on FF people think just because something turns them on they are absolutely entitled to make the person they are with conform to their sexual ideal.

All men watch porn. Do they give their wife's and girlfriends the ultimatum that- if they don't look exactly like a porn star they can't be with them? No, of course not.

But in this community people feel completely justified asking their partners to do things that any sane person would realize is unhealthy. I think it is good that she is conflicted about the way she feels.

And the way you said "feed him to" whatever weight as if he's not even human is disturbing to me.

- to the person who started this thread

- I get not wanting to be with someone skinny, I couldn't do it either. But the reality of being with someone 400lbs isn't as great as you think it would be. I think it is a normal thing for an FA to worry about weight loss, but I don't think you should tell him he can't go below a certain weight. It is still his body. I think it is good that you realize the importance of his health. I think it would be completely wrong to sabotage his weight loss. I honestly don't think you will lose your attraction to him. Also I know for me when I'm having sex I fantasize about stuff like in the stories on here. If you can relate to that you can enjoy him being happier and healthier in real life but fantasize about him gaining when you are having sex. For me personally I fantasize about humiliation senerios that would be horrifying in real life but turn me on a lot when I fantasize about them. Get some too tight pants for him to wear to role play gaining. You can get creative with it.

It's his choice and only his.

Maybe it's upsetting to you and I understand that you sexual desire may be affected, but a healthy life is more important than sexual desire, especially if that's how he sees it.

In no way it would be healthy to place him in a position where he has to choose between his own health and your sexual attraction. Deal with it.