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Has anyone spoken to a therapist about this kink?

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Faithinstrangers19   Australia
Joined 4 years
workingOnIt:
I think their therapist responding that way is less about not being constructive, and more about trying to normalize the person's experience by acting as if it's not a big deal.

I have discussed this fetish at length with my therapist as well as my gaining. As others have said, this won't be the worst thing they've heard, and really it's not as weird or out there as a lot of us tell ourselves it is in our heads. A good therapist is going to care how this fetish affects your life and what it means for you, not that "it's weird you want to stuff someone's face full of food."

I think if someone feels as though the fetish is taking over their life or that they cannot find any satisfaction with out the fetish, it's probably not really the fetish that's the issue and there's probably more at play. In those cases, instead of hating on the fetish, I think it's helpful to consider the fetish as a godsend for giving us an outlet for sexual pleasure when mental health may be getting in the way of getting pleasure from intimacy.


It’s hard when the therapist might not raise an eyebrow but the one or two times I’ve disclosed it to people it’s met with reactions like “what in the fuck?”

You’re right it’s not necessarily the nature of the fetish that’s the problem... altho it is a bit... if I had a foot fetish for instance I’d just find partners who were cool with that, but being into feedism and bellies requires someone being willing to alter their appearance for you plus is able and willing to gain some weight in the belly, it’s like 10000 times rarer than other kinks.

But yeah I think the fetish has been allowed to be too dominant, and I haven’t really challenged myself enough to find gratification without it. I still feel some level of it from regular intimacy but it pales in comparison to fetish stuff. So I don’t think it’s just mental issues it’s that main sexuality is a bit twisted?
3 years

Has anyone spoken to a therapist about this kink?

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WorkingOnIt   Canada
Joined 3 years


Faithinstrangers19:
It’s hard when the therapist might not raise an eyebrow but the one or two times I’ve disclosed it to people it’s met with reactions like “what in the fuck?”

You’re right it’s not necessarily the nature of the fetish that’s the problem... altho it is a bit... if I had a foot fetish for instance I’d just find partners who were cool with that, but being into feedism and bellies requires someone being willing to alter their appearance for you plus is able and willing to gain some weight in the belly, it’s like 10000 times rarer than other kinks.

But yeah I think the fetish has been allowed to be too dominant, and I haven’t really challenged myself enough to find gratification without it. I still feel some level of it from regular intimacy but it pales in comparison to fetish stuff. So I don’t think it’s just mental issues it’s that main sexuality is a bit twisted?


I'm sorry to hear that you have had people respond like that. I think it's really terrible that people are so judgmental and that we have to be so careful with who we share these feelings with. I think the good people in your life would be understanding, even if you haven't met them yet, and even if it might take some time for them to come around. I consider myself pretty open about this kink, but I still only share it with people I trust.

I think it might be easier to find someone with a foot fetish then finding someone who, right out of the gate, is turned on by getting fat. I think though, there are a lot of people who might not be particularly interested in the fetish themselves, but would be more than happy to entertain your fantasies. Ironically, my boyfriend has a foot fetish, and even though it's not my thing, I'm happy to let him play with my feet. Just like feeding isn't his thing, but he doesn't mind me playing with his belly.

Challenging yourself to find gratification outside the fetish is super hard and I shouldn't preach like it's some easy thing, or something you have any obligation to do. It's really hard to figure out what's mental health, what's sexuality, especially when there really might not be any real answer.

I hope you can find someone, who if they don't like feederism directly, are open to exploring it with you. I promise there are lots of great people out there and that this fetish doesn't need to ruin your life. Heck, not to kink shame, but I'm pretty happy to get turned on by people getting fat over some other fetishes haha!
3 years

Has anyone spoken to a therapist about this kink?

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Faithinstrangers19   Australia
Joined 4 years


Faithinstrangers19:
It’s hard when the therapist might not raise an eyebrow but the one or two times I’ve disclosed it to people it’s met with reactions like “what in the fuck?”

You’re right it’s not necessarily the nature of the fetish that’s the problem... altho it is a bit... if I had a foot fetish for instance I’d just find partners who were cool with that, but being into feedism and bellies requires someone being willing to alter their appearance for you plus is able and willing to gain some weight in the belly, it’s like 10000 times rarer than other kinks.

But yeah I think the fetish has been allowed to be too dominant, and I haven’t really challenged myself enough to find gratification without it. I still feel some level of it from regular intimacy but it pales in comparison to fetish stuff. So I don’t think it’s just mental issues it’s that main sexuality is a bit twisted?

workingOnIt:
I'm sorry to hear that you have had people respond like that. I think it's really terrible that people are so judgmental and that we have to be so careful with who we share these feelings with. I think the good people in your life would be understanding, even if you haven't met them yet, and even if it might take some time for them to come around. I consider myself pretty open about this kink, but I still only share it with people I trust.

I think it might be easier to find someone with a foot fetish then finding someone who, right out of the gate, is turned on by getting fat. I think though, there are a lot of people who might not be particularly interested in the fetish themselves, but would be more than happy to entertain your fantasies. Ironically, my boyfriend has a foot fetish, and even though it's not my thing, I'm happy to let him play with my feet. Just like feeding isn't his thing, but he doesn't mind me playing with his belly.

Challenging yourself to find gratification outside the fetish is super hard and I shouldn't preach like it's some easy thing, or something you have any obligation to do. It's really hard to figure out what's mental health, what's sexuality, especially when there really might not be any real answer.

I hope you can find someone, who if they don't like feederism directly, are open to exploring it with you. I promise there are lots of great people out there and that this fetish doesn't need to ruin your life. Heck, not to kink shame, but I'm pretty happy to get turned on by people getting fat over some other fetishes haha!


The irony is that one of the girls had that reaction right after she told me about her rape fantasies... I guess the thought of deliberately gaining just shocks some people because their whole life has been orientated around doing the exact opposite whereas rape fetishes are a bit more comparable to dominant Sex I guess.

I know those open minded people are out there tho, not really expecting anyone to actually agree to gain or stuff necessarily tho.

I’m glad it’s worked out for you and your boyfriend!
3 years

Has anyone spoken to a therapist about this kink?

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Faithinstrangers19   Australia
Joined 4 years


Faithinstrangers19:
The irony is that one of the girls had that reaction right after she told me about her rape fantasies... I guess the thought of deliberately gaining just shocks some people because their whole life has been orientated around doing the exact opposite whereas rape fetishes are a bit more comparable to dominant Sex I guess.

I know those open minded people are out there tho, not really expecting anyone to actually agree to gain or stuff necessarily tho.

I’m glad it’s worked out for you and your boyfriend!

Larsson:
Actually, it is very common that even "regular, next door girls" have rape fantasies. Internet searches, porn site data etc support this, and the enormous success of "50 shades" just reinforces the truth in it. Fat fetishism on the other hand is pretty much exotic to most western people.


Yeah that doesn’t surprise me, although I know a girl from high school who was raped (I mean by a stranger holding a knife) and that incident basically gave her a panic disorder and changed her personality so it slightly sickens me when girls claim they have rape fantasies i think .. you’re attracted to a situation where the guy is so aroused by you that he can’t control himself, you’re attracted by having no control so you don’t feel slutty, you’re attracted to the idea of something being taboo no you’re not attracted to a psychopath with a weapon defiling your body. Even in fantasies who the hell would actually want that?

It seems so much more brutal and malicious than something like feedism (excluding that death feedism shit)
3 years

Has anyone spoken to a therapist about this kink?

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LilRascl   United Kingdom
Joined 9 years
LondonFA:
Having a person as a mirror and being able to explore your mixed feelings about anything you do, from this sexual preference to morally questionable actions at work can really help and also might allow you to draw more clear lines as to what your actual preferences are and how to work with them in a settled way in your life.


I couldn’t agree with this more! I struggled with accepting my gainer/feedee fetish throughout my 20’s (shout out to all you lurkers who are working your way out of the fridge! 😊👍🏼). I stopped lurking and started participating when I decided to give gaining a go at 29. I’m 36 now, and nearly double my starting weight. Best decision I’ve ever made! I’m still figuring out where and how I want to wind up, and I’ll be doing that fir the rest of my life, because finding balance for me means actively chasing a moving target to keep a grip on my health and my desires - but I’m okay with that! It’s never boring, and I’ve incorporated my sexuality into my life in a way that really works for me.

I think you can do this on your own more easily than with a partner, sometimes, but only if they’re at least supportive of what you’re into, if not into it themselves. I couldn’t be arsed with finding FA’s on the mainstream dating sites, so I used FF and Feabie (and was explicit about what I was looking for in my profiles!). I based who I went out with on how we got along, feedism aside, and that’s how I wound up meeting my fella/encourager. I’m with him because of his mind, personality, and character, and how fuckable I find him - the fact we both find me getting fatter to be seriously hot was a given from the start, and that’s given me the freedom to actively explore how I feel about everything along the way. His role is that he supports me 100%, no questions asked, and will egg me on when I let him know I’m craving some inches and want his encouragement. This isn’t necessarily the way things would look if I’d led with finding matching fantasies though, (if I had I’d be bound and funnel fed, and who knows how huge 😅😂), but this is better than any fantasy because mutual respect and support is a million times more intoxicating to a feedee like me than anything else.
3 years

Has anyone spoken to a therapist about this kink?

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Dolkite   United States
Joined 8 years
I did and he just chuckled and said don't gain more than 20 lbs (for what it's worth, he was an MD).
3 years

Has anyone spoken to a therapist about this kink?

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Littlejohnboy   United States
Joined 6 years
Great thread. I have enjoyed reading most of the comments. I have always had "a thing" for larger women. Most relationships begin with being physically attracted to the other person. After that, there does need to be an emotional connection to make the relationship last.

I have told my partners that I find them beautiful, which I do. A few were comfortable enough to relax and enjoy themselves. No, they did not become feeders, but they were no longer in "diet mode." About the only time weight became an issue was when clothes no longer fit. Buying new clothes can be expensive, but it is definitely worth it for a bigger partner.

As mentioned earlier, Fantasy Feeder and Feabie are great places to meet people who enjoy feeding and gaining. I met a feeder on FF and it was wonderful. Our first time together was at a Chinese buffet where we stuffed ourselves silly. And I was hungry again in an hour!

From there our relationship became one of food and fun. We had eating and gaining contests. Belly rubs were constant. Touching all over and enjoying our fat together was very pleasurable. We both gained weight and found it very erotic! My partner added more than 40 pounds in about 15 months. Our sex life was spectacular!

The unfortunate thing is because fat and gaining are so outside "the norm," there is a much smaller (ironic, huh?) number of people who share our interests. This means we frequently end up with long distance relationships. That what happened here. The distance kept us apart.

However, the experience of the relationship was flabulous! We spend too much time in life trying to please others. Decide what you like and go for it. Be happy on your terms. If others can't accept it, it is really their loss, isn't.

Now I am hungry. Time to stuff my belly!
3 years

Has anyone spoken to a therapist about this kink?

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Dolkite   United States
Joined 8 years
[quote]littlejohnboy:
The unfortunate thing is because fat and gaining are so outside "the norm," there is a much smaller (ironic, huh?) number of people who share our interests. This means we frequently end up with long distance relationships. /quote]

This is something I've struggled with. I didn't have too much problem accepting that I found fat sexy, but I did not (and still don't) like the notion that my dating pool is very, very small if I insist on exercising this fetish for myself or someone else.

Add to that the usual complaints. I haven't had many people begging me for $ since I quit Feabie, but this site seems like it's like 80 percent guys, any woman get swarmed here, and I've found very few people who can hold up a conversation in chat even if it's about gaining.
3 years

Has anyone spoken to a therapist about this kink?

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Faithinstrangers19   Australia
Joined 4 years
Dolkite:
[quote]littlejohnboy:
The unfortunate thing is because fat and gaining are so outside "the norm," there is a much smaller (ironic, huh?) number of people who share our interests. This means we frequently end up with long distance relationships. /quote]

This is something I've struggled with. I didn't have too much problem accepting that I found fat sexy, but I did not (and still don't) like the notion that my dating pool is very, very small if I insist on exercising this fetish for myself or someone else.

Add to that the usual complaints. I haven't had many people begging me for $ since I quit Feabie, but this site seems like it's like 80 percent guys, any woman get swarmed here, and I've found very few people who can hold up a conversation in chat even if it's about gaining.



Yeah...
I mean I’ve tried to chat to hundreds of feedees in the hope that maybe just maybe even though we live on opposite side of the world something will click and we can one day make a move to try things out in person and potentially be very satisfied together.

But Between a vile community full of creeps who should be lined up in front of a firing squad and the fact that 95% of people I’ve tried to chat with seem either unable or unwilling to have a decent conversation... and having a niche preference (I’m mainly into bellies not all round fat women)... the shit is impossible and I’m basically giving up.

It’s an endless cycle of disappointment and time wasting.
Might as well just try to find chubby girls outside the community and stay a bit unsatisfied... but I mean fuck that’s better than just growing more and more bitter.

And I’m tormented by the idea that ironically most girls should actually love to be with a guy who can appreciate them being chubby because who the fuck actually enjoys dieting and worrying whether their partner still finds them sexy? But the social pressure there is just so extreme.

Of course I keep feeling like the second I leave the community for a while the girl I’ve been looking for will pop up in my city and get driven away or snatched up by somebody else so I hang around
3 years

Has anyone spoken to a therapist about this kink?

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Faithinstrangers19   Australia
Joined 4 years
justapig:
I spoke to my psychiatrist about it, she thinks it all links back to my BPD


I don’t see the interface personally but I’m no expert

This kink definitely exists in abstraction from other disorders for me though, it was part of my sexuality from a young age.

Actually it’s evolved... I used to be into pregnant and bbw, now it’s just girls with slight bellies, and thank god for that because pregnancy kink isn’t exactly an easy one or indulge in real life.
I know one girl who’s pregnancy kink led her to have a kid she didn’t want (but she stepped up and became a good mum luckily)
3 years
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