General

For me the scale goes up and down. I wish it would just keep going up.

Best feeling ever when you jiggle your fat growing belly while on the scale, seeing the numbers go up and up, always hungry and getting fatter and softer, knowing you can't stop eating and knowing you will be a helpless blob one day as your feeder continues to fatten you up with food.

I call what we have the gift because it germinates in people differently. I live the food but my addiction came with the getting fatter and building subcutaneous fat (the flabby kind). I had always been somewhat chubby and wearing compression shirts to hide the moobs and slim the gut but when I realized that I had never been cut so being that was unrealistic when I was always chubby so the crazy idea got into my head that I wanted a gut. Then after that, can I get it to the point where it would hang ? Can I go from a 38 in jeans to a 48 ? Can I get to a size 52 in jeans ? So, I hide taken the obsession of being a damn near pro level athlete to can I be that lard ass that I saw in my dreams but was too self conscious to actually try and be so that became an obsession all onto itself...