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Is there a massive gender imbalance in this community?

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Faithinstrangers19   Australia
Joined 4 years
Chatting to a girl recently who told me how she gets 20+ messages per day from guys despite her not being an attention whore for lack of better terms.
It made me think about just how uneven the gender ratio seems to be here.
It’s massively skewed on dating apps as well but I wonder why this kink appears to be more common among men?
Maybe a bunch of guys here don’t actually have the kink and are just hoping to get lucky in an “easier” domain?
What do you guys think?
3 years

Is there a massive gender imbalance in this community?

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Zipped_away   United States
Joined 4 years
I think there is also a pretty big unbalance for how individuals are treated outside of the community, too. I feel that the weight gain aspect of this is far easier to lean into as a guy, therefor more guys would discover that they are into it and therefor more guys would be found in online servers.
3 years

Is there a massive gender imbalance in this community?

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Jiggle Junkie   United States
Joined 3 years
Faithinstrangers19:
Chatting to a girl recently who told me how she gets 20+ messages per day from guys despite her not being an attention whore for lack of better terms.
It made me think about just how uneven the gender ratio seems to be here.
It’s massively skewed on dating apps as well but I wonder why this kink appears to be more common among men?
Maybe a bunch of guys here don’t actually have the kink and are just hoping to get lucky in an “easier” domain?
What do you guys think?


messaging ≠ active in a community

From my vantage point of watching the online segment of the fatosphere since the 1990s, while there may be more men, it’s not a massive skew.

What is a massive skew—and has nothing to do with fat attraction—is supply and demand of men vs. women, esp. in a heteronormative context. Not only are behaviors different, as mentioned by becomingoverweight, western societies define and judge women by attractiveness and sex appeal, and value them highly as sex objects. Show up to an online community as a woman and watch your message box blow up, just by existing. With that kind of stifling pressure, is it any wonder that women take breaks/back away/walk away from individual online interactions?

Over in MenLand, where i’ve more or less existed all these years, one can have months or years of no activity in the private message box. We still have a lot of the paradigm that men are supposed to pursue and women are supposed to filter. For those of us who aren’t wired to pursue (looks in the mirror), it’s difficult. I’m actually finding it easier to work towards a mild gender transition (with dreams of eventual autoerotica) easier than making an intimate connection with anyone.
3 years

Is there a massive gender imbalance in this community?

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Faithinstrangers19   Australia
Joined 4 years
Jiggle Junkie:
...western societies define and judge women by attractiveness and sex appeal, and value them highly as sex objects. Show up to an online community as a woman and watch your message box blow up, just by existing.

BiteSize:
THIS! And it doesn’t even matter what community I am existing in. It doesn’t even have to be a kink space. Dudes will still try to flirt (at least on a kink site I’m somewhat anticipating it, but, like... on an antique toy auction group? LoL YES! True story! Dude was selling some vintage toys on a local market and tried to get a date with it)


Yeah I guess that’s the reason.

And it seems to perpetuate itself...the more “scarce” women are the more desperate *some* men become which results in more inappropriate behaviour online which results in women leaving the online domain because they’re being harassed or doxxed or overwhelmed which results in a greater imbalance.
I’ve found that to be the case with dating apps so I imagine it’s even worse here.

Well actually i know it is, I’ve chatted to maybe 300 feedees over the years - 95% of them disappeared, and in the rare case that they left me a goodbye message it was often because they were being harassed or some creep had found them on social media.

Or because the social pressure on women to look fit and toned is massive. It exists for men but not to the same level. It causes most feedees I’ve chatted to to hate themselves for what they’re doing and feel as though they’re weak for giving in to their fetish so it’s like being tortured in a way.

Side note :

When I see a feedee posting daily who wants to gain 200lbs I’ll bet my car that they’ll be gone in a month.

I think being able to enjoy it in moderation is important. And not completely separating it from your own morals.
3 years

Is there a massive gender imbalance in this community?

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Masuli   Finland
Joined 6 years
There is always going to be male dominance, I mean more more males than females on dating sites and this site isn't exception.

Trying to find a female feeder is like trying to find a real life unicorn.

They are really rare but do exist. I have chatted with two female feeders and both just suddenly disappeared without saying goodbye or reason.

Yeah I'm a massive dick and I deserve to be treated like dirt on everyday basis, or so it seems.

I don't know how many female feedees are on this site.
3 years

Is there a massive gender imbalance in this community?

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WideJuan76   United States
Joined 12 years
Faithinstrangers19:
Chatting to a girl recently who told me how she gets 20+ messages per day from guys despite her not being an attention whore for lack of better terms.
It made me think about just how uneven the gender ratio seems to be here.
It’s massively skewed on dating apps as well but I wonder why this kink appears to be more common among men?
Maybe a bunch of guys here don’t actually have the kink and are just hoping to get lucky in an “easier” domain?
What do you guys think?


I think that more dudes have the kink than we realize but the truth is that they miss some key points. One, they can express this fetish online but not in real life. I have come across so many dudes who don't have the ability to actualize their desires in their lives and that frustration spills over to online. Secondly, most dudes here don't have the interpersonal skills to connect because they have been told that women and men communicate the same so these guys come of too direct too early and that turns the women that are in this life off. Then, most if these dudes live in places where there isn't many fat people. When I started this path, DC was one of the fittest towns in the states but I had wanted to slow things down and move to NC and then too South Carolina and that is when I saw a whole culture that championed women fattening up males they liked. And lastly, there are more males on these types of sites because they use it like a fat persons Tinder and you can have one attractive female and she can get thirty messages out of nowhere. Hell, a close female companion used to have her profile here and she would get twenty plus messages a day from just saying hi in the chatroom. It is just what it is and I have seen how overwhelmed some ladies get because some dudes have not been taught proper social skills....
3 years

Is there a massive gender imbalance in this community?

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WideJuan76   United States
Joined 12 years
Meepmeep:
Donovan Sharpe, Better Bachelor, Sandman on YouTube. There is a huge imbalance of men on the sight looking to have thirst quenched. Most men on here don't have the luxury of being able to market their gain the way 30-40% of women here. there is such an imbalance that guy's are willing to pay for the same attention and validation that women enjoy for free or or get paid for. IRL it's pretty much the same, why would a woman settle for a mediocre dude when she can get pumped by Chad with the consequence of being dumped after that is or have beta bucks pay her way through life. The demand that all these thirsty guys produce inflates the value of all the goods.

Anyone who doesn't like has two options, don't play the game or outplay the competition.


Well said, and those are all valid points. My anecdotal experience has shown me that in my particular situation that the more that I focused on me and gaining the more attention that I got. I have heard Donovan Sharpe even allude to just focusing on you and those that appreciate it will come around but I do agree that when you get that amount of attention that it sort of causes an imbalance
3 years

Is there a massive gender imbalance in this community?

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Louiefat   United States
Joined 10 years
Faithinstrangers19:
Tbh the dating scene here in my eyes is absolute shit.


Calling the feedism dating scene absolute shit is an insult to absolute shit.
3 years

Is there a massive gender imbalance in this community?

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Curiousv   Romania
Joined 15 years

Jiggle Junkie:
What is a massive skew—and has nothing to do with fat attraction—is supply and demand of men vs. women, esp. in a heteronormative context. Not only are behaviors different, as mentioned by becomingoverweight, western societies define and judge women by attractiveness and sex appeal, and value them highly as sex objects. Show up to an online community as a woman and watch your message box blow up, just by existing. With that kind of stifling pressure, is it any wonder that women take breaks/back away/walk away from individual online interactions?


That isn't just "western societies", it's human nature. (and if you go by the norms of western society, it's actually actively discouraged - even though many people still do it)

Don't forget that we as a species spent may orders of magnitude more time as hunter-gatherer tribes than in modern urbanized civilization. For women, pregnancy was a much bigger hurdle and more risky then than now, so women had to choose very carefully who they trust, while men could more easily move on. Also it's no wonder that in this scene most men are feeders and most women are feedees. Men had to go out to hunt, and provide for the women who stayed home, being pregnant during most of their lives, due to high child mortality. Of course there are exceptions with both genders, but there is a general trend deeply rooted in our species, which no social trends can fully eliminate.
3 years

Is there a massive gender imbalance in this community?

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WideJuan76   United States
Joined 12 years
Jiggle Junkie:
...western societies define and judge women by attractiveness and sex appeal, and value them highly as sex objects. Show up to an online community as a woman and watch your message box blow up, just by existing.

BiteSize:
THIS! And it doesn’t even matter what community I am existing in. It doesn’t even have to be a kink space. Dudes will still try to flirt (at least on a kink site I’m somewhat anticipating it, but, like... on an antique toy auction group? LoL YES! True story! Dude was selling some vintage toys on a local market and tried to get a date with it)

Faithinstrangers19:
Yeah I guess that’s the reason.

And it seems to perpetuate itself...the more “scarce” women are the more desperate *some* men become which results in more inappropriate behaviour online which results in women leaving the online domain because they’re being harassed or doxxed or overwhelmed which results in a greater imbalance.
I’ve found that to be the case with dating apps so I imagine it’s even worse here.

Well actually i know it is, I’ve chatted to maybe 300 feedees over the years - 95% of them disappeared, and in the rare case that they left me a goodbye message it was often because they were being harassed or some creep had found them on social media.

Or because the social pressure on women to look fit and toned is massive. It exists for men but not to the same level. It causes most feedees I’ve chatted to to hate themselves for what they’re doing and feel as though they’re weak for giving in to their fetish so it’s like being tortured in a way.

Side note :

When I see a feedee posting daily who wants to gain 200lbs I’ll bet my car that they’ll be gone in a month.

I think being able to enjoy it in moderation is important. And not completely separating it from your own morals.


The truth is that for some this life is something to be hidden, others it is just a passing fetish and the truth is that most are just pretending because they have that right to pretend so we have to understand the neuropsychology of both sexes and how that manifests itself in this lifestyle because that lifestyle in most Western societies is seen as taboo so you will meet folks all the time and they will vanish due to how this fetish is seen by the masses. It comes with the territory. I used to be frustrated by it but the fatter that I got and understood the nature of this the women came to me because of how I changed my perspective on it.
3 years
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