MoMojo:
So I’m 25M and I’ve been dating my GF 24 for more than 3 years now. One thing i have to say here: this is definitely the girl i want to be with, no matter the compromises I have to make in terms of my sexual orientation.
So when we met she very sporty and slim (volleball like 5x a week) but she had been wanting to quit so. I was also athletic at the, mainly doing hiking & running. So as all you FA’s and feeders might know: i very quickly started mentioning her cute belly and how feminine it was. It was odd to her at first, but then she started talking about my belly that way (which was weird because the tables were kinda turned ha!). So fast forward 2 years: my gf has transform a good 20lbs of muscle into fat and gained another 10 or so pounds. She’s definitely chubby but i wouldn’t call her fat. Actually the I’d say the biggest difference to 2 yrs ago is that she’s gotten sooo out of shape to a point she’ll just say ‘eh, I’ll drop it eventually, working out ist not really my thing’ she also loves me being into her belly at this, she even does the same to me! Which brings me to my final point: while i was so focused on slowly making my gf gain and constantly discouraging from physical activities: i never thought about my fitness because my weight used to stay the same. But last week it hit me when I was trying to pick up exrcises again: in those 2 years i’d lost about 30 lbs of muscles and gained about 40 lbs of fat. Weird thing: my gf is into it. So yesterday my gf was over at my place and left me baffled with the following question: ‘you know at this point were super out of shap and it’d be a real pain in the ass to get back into shape. We might just kinda let ourselves go at this point and just enjoy the coziness or relationship. So that’s my dilemma: my gf is offering me to let herself go, but under the condition that i do so myself (which i’m not ready for lol)
So what do i do? Sorry for the long text
So I’m 25M and I’ve been dating my GF 24 for more than 3 years now. One thing i have to say here: this is definitely the girl i want to be with, no matter the compromises I have to make in terms of my sexual orientation.
So when we met she very sporty and slim (volleball like 5x a week) but she had been wanting to quit so. I was also athletic at the, mainly doing hiking & running. So as all you FA’s and feeders might know: i very quickly started mentioning her cute belly and how feminine it was. It was odd to her at first, but then she started talking about my belly that way (which was weird because the tables were kinda turned ha!). So fast forward 2 years: my gf has transform a good 20lbs of muscle into fat and gained another 10 or so pounds. She’s definitely chubby but i wouldn’t call her fat. Actually the I’d say the biggest difference to 2 yrs ago is that she’s gotten sooo out of shape to a point she’ll just say ‘eh, I’ll drop it eventually, working out ist not really my thing’ she also loves me being into her belly at this, she even does the same to me! Which brings me to my final point: while i was so focused on slowly making my gf gain and constantly discouraging from physical activities: i never thought about my fitness because my weight used to stay the same. But last week it hit me when I was trying to pick up exrcises again: in those 2 years i’d lost about 30 lbs of muscles and gained about 40 lbs of fat. Weird thing: my gf is into it. So yesterday my gf was over at my place and left me baffled with the following question: ‘you know at this point were super out of shap and it’d be a real pain in the ass to get back into shape. We might just kinda let ourselves go at this point and just enjoy the coziness or relationship. So that’s my dilemma: my gf is offering me to let herself go, but under the condition that i do so myself (which i’m not ready for lol)
So what do i do? Sorry for the long text
My initial thought is she may not care which way you go with this, but may be concerned that if she gains and you don't then she will be vunerable.
I've stayed fit and my better half has gained a lot in the last 4 years and even though I've been 100% honest and we're married and have 2 wonderful children together the fact that I have a much more typically advertised physique and she is very far from the 110lbs dancer I first dated, makes her feel a little uncomfortable.
It's a hard one as by published standards if one partners gains (I don't like the term letting go as it takes some effort gaining), and the other doesn't, the assumed outcome is that the non gaining partner retains a supposed advantage in the instance of a breakup.
Sadly getting fat is seen as removing the likelyhood of finding a future partner and this in turn can be abused by the non gaining partner down the line as there is a fear of "now you're fat, who will have you?!"
This statent although untrue is a trope that has been so ingrained in modern narratives that it's hard to shake.
My wife gained naturally following marriage and pregnancy as she felt comfortable to do so and clearly got positive feedback (I can't leave her alone, literally she has become irresistible physically and it only intensifies the more she relaxes in to her natural state).
With this in mind, what your GF may be looking for is some kind of bankable commitment from you. To her that's your gain, but your gain may be substituted by another clear commitment, whether marriage or a tattoo or a joint lease/mortgage.
The caveat being she might also prefer a larger partner and is simply looking for you to gain too. Aesthetic preferences aren't always easy to express. I have plenty of friends who post college nudged their partner to start dressing more adult without being blatant and that too is just an aesthetic preference.
3 years
