General

What could be done to stop so many from leaving the community?

I’ve been on and off for a long time. When i try to reach out to someone the response i get is usually “oh are you a feeder? If so send me money!” Or “no response due to lack of pics which is sad. I don’t post pics mainly because I’ve seen co workers on this site and I’m not trying to mix my work life with my personal life. It can push people much like myself away from the site. I prefer this site to feabie but feabie overall seems to be much more active.
3 years

What could be done to stop so many from leaving the community?

Well as someone who was here years ago and just come back, I have a couple thoughts on this thread and subject.

As for the initial leaving like 10 years ago, it was based on life circumstances and more that at that time I had stopped making genuine connections with people and still wasnt comfortable with myself and had growing to do.

That being said, upon my return ff is a different animal. As I've grown (physically and mentally), ive decided to embrace and enjoy myself and get back into what brought me here originally. Ive stopped being ashamed of my body or my relationship with food. That being said, I can see why it's hard for some people to stay.

Firstly as a feedee and content creator we get a bad rap. When I returned I had no idea about feabie or scamming or any of this "pay me or I wont talk to you" tom foolery. So many people I talk to are put off because of fetishes being more monetized than ever, with things like of and other pay walls. If people feel that they are being reduced to a piggy bank and not real people then I would understand leaving as well or being weary of feedees. Though I will say it's a double edged sword for me because I do create content but if you've ever spoken to me personally you can attest I dont push it on you, if you're interested fine. If not, my main purpose is chatting.

Secondly, I get the fat and food and sex and that is all well and good. But being just an object of your lust and not a human being is demoralizing. I am always up for fat chat or talking about fantasies but it's nice to have a real conversation because I'm more than my jiggly bits, no matter how plentiful they are.

My last point is for john, who as a queer poc I'm going to agree with. It happens less so here than on other sites, but I feel that I dont get the same treatment or respect because I am a woman of color. No one had ever said anything blatantly racist to me, but it's how things are worded. If some of you check my content you know I work with my lovely counterpart quite often. We have a lovely relationship. This is our platform of choice and we have met a lot of genuine people. That being said we do get a lot of private messages. We will be offered to make custom work or feeds and more often than youd think, she gets a private message saying that they only want something from her in the end or set up something with the pair of us and decide that I'm not needed. I'm not going to say that my race is always the case but I do notice the difference in treatments across all platforms (except insta which is treats fat models as second class in general).

Im obviously aware that some people like me better and some people prefer her, that's normal. But what isnt is the disproportionate way in which I am spoken to treated and over all disregarded. There will be people that will think that this is just some weird figment of my imagination but I promise you the race card is still being held.
3 years

What could be done to stop so many from leaving the community?

Rachhole:
Well as someone who was here years ago and just come back, I have a couple thoughts on this thread and subject.

As for the initial leaving like 10 years ago, it was based on life circumstances and more that at that time I had stopped making genuine connections with people and still wasnt comfortable with myself and had growing to do.

That being said, upon my return ff is a different animal. As I've grown (physically and mentally), ive decided to embrace and enjoy myself and get back into what brought me here originally. Ive stopped being ashamed of my body or my relationship with food. That being said, I can see why it's hard for some people to stay.

Firstly as a feedee and content creator we get a bad rap. When I returned I had no idea about feabie or scamming or any of this "pay me or I wont talk to you" tom foolery. So many people I talk to are put off because of fetishes being more monetized than ever, with things like of and other pay walls. If people feel that they are being reduced to a piggy bank and not real people then I would understand leaving as well or being weary of feedees. Though I will say it's a double edged sword for me because I do create content but if you've ever spoken to me personally you can attest I dont push it on you, if you're interested fine. If not, my main purpose is chatting.

Secondly, I get the fat and food and sex and that is all well and good. But being just an object of your lust and not a human being is demoralizing. I am always up for fat chat or talking about fantasies but it's nice to have a real conversation because I'm more than my jiggly bits, no matter how plentiful they are.

My last point is for john, who as a queer poc I'm going to agree with. It happens less so here than on other sites, but I feel that I dont get the same treatment or respect because I am a woman of color. No one had ever said anything blatantly racist to me, but it's how things are worded. If some of you check my content you know I work with my lovely counterpart quite often. We have a lovely relationship. This is our platform of choice and we have met a lot of genuine people. That being said we do get a lot of private messages. We will be offered to make custom work or feeds and more often than youd think, she gets a private message saying that they only want something from her in the end or set up something with the pair of us and decide that I'm not needed. I'm not going to say that my race is always the case but I do notice the difference in treatments across all platforms (except insta which is treats fat models as second class in general).

Im obviously aware that some people like me better and some people prefer her, that's normal. But what isnt is the disproportionate way in which I am spoken to treated and over all disregarded. There will be people that will think that this is just some weird figment of my imagination but I promise you the race card is still being held.

John Smith:
I am glad that we finally have a content creator who put a word about it.

Mod teams and conservative minority lobbies on F.A. forums lately are less bent into gaslighting, making pass people for fools and/or bullying into silent dozens of vocal forumgoers when BBW models are the ones who expresses their grievances about these same issues.

There definitively have differences of treatment against content creators of color. I've been pointing out this issue for months on FF, DM and Curvage and it resulted into FF banning any thread topic centered about forum members of color this summer, DM banning me and later their very admin and mod team lobbying amid a minority lobby on Curvage to put me into silent.

Forums may continue to snub at these issues and sees their frequency visitations rates dropping as catastrophically as their membership rates for the sake of some foolish status quo in their heads, or face up the truth: even if that means losing up some members who refuses to contemplate any change the same way majority of 200,000+ Americans refused to recognize there has a pandemic outbreak. Patterns remains patterns.


3 years

What could be done to stop so many from leaving the community?

John Smith:
FF is not the only website that undergoes a dramatic loss in audiences.

websiteiq.com/domain/curvage.org/

I've posted a topic about it on the concerned forum. Got deleted within a hour.

It seems no one want to face the truth.


We use Google Analytics to directly measure our website traffic, and this has shown to be pretty consistant throughout 2020, if anything with a slight increase.

I think the title of the thread is refering to the turnover of members and questioning why some people don't seem to stay longer than a few months. We're working behind the scenes, continually improving the website to try and retain people for longer, although it does seem that many people return, even creating new accounts after having deleted their old ones.
3 years

What could be done to stop so many from leaving the community?

I am glad that people of all sizes and colors are here. So far as the comment that poc get less attention here, racism is not necessary to explain this.

People like what they like. Some men prefer redheads or blondes, some prefer tall or short. It is not that they dislike women who are tall and dark or regard them as being inferior people.

The truth is, just as the old saying implies "Gentlemen prefer blondes". Statistics show that men prefer to be taller than their love interest as well. It is not a universal rule, and there are lots of exceptions, but it is statistically true.

Statistically, women prefer men who are taller than they are as well.

So, I sympathize with you, but as a poc, you are probably not a natural blonde, or can pass as natural, blonde. That is all that is required to explain the disparity in attention.

it sucks, but there it is. No racism required to explain it.

FYI, my ex was average 5'-4", a plump 180 lb (when I proposed to her) and had dark American-Indian background hair and complexion. Unfortunately, she was also a tramp who cheated on me repeatedly.
3 years

What could be done to stop so many from leaving the community?

fatchance:
I am glad that people of all sizes and colors are here. So far as the comment that poc get less attention here, racism is not necessary to explain this.

People like what they like. Some men prefer redheads or blondes, some prefer tall or short. It is not that they dislike women who are tall and dark or regard them as being inferior people.

The truth is, just as the old saying implies "Gentlemen prefer blondes". Statistics show that men prefer to be taller than their love interest as well. It is not a universal rule, and there are lots of exceptions, but it is statistically true.

Statistically, women prefer men who are taller than they are as well.

So, I sympathize with you, but as a poc, you are probably not a natural blonde, or can pass as natural, blonde. That is all that is required to explain the disparity in attention.

it sucks, but there it is. No racism required to explain it.

FYI, my ex was average 5'-4", a plump 180 lb (when I proposed to her) and had dark American-Indian background hair and complexion. Unfortunately, she was also a tramp who cheated on me repeatedly.




I totally agree with this. Everyone has a preference, including myself. And just for the record, I myself dont chalk everything up to race. It's the things like being called "big momma" and the like that get to me.

Also sorry to hear about the tramp. Good riddance.
3 years

What could be done to stop so many from leaving the community?

I understand about calling you "Big Momma". Someone needs to know you well enough to know if you are ok with it before using names like that.

It is always best to start out with someone you don't know with politeness and good behavior. There is too much rudeness in general these days.
3 years

What could be done to stop so many from leaving the community?

fatchance:
I understand about calling you "Big Momma". Someone needs to know you well enough to know if you are ok with it before using names like that.

It is always best to start out with someone you don't know with politeness and good behavior. There is too much rudeness in general these days.


As has been pointed out by pretty much all the comments on here, there's definitely been a huge change in how people connect (or fail to) with each other. I kinda wish I was over 18 in those supposed early years when people could make connections, but my impression of social networking is that of people being less accepting of others' differences. With echo chambers, one-click shopping, and the draw of individualistic "hustles" like YouTube, Patreon, OF, scamming, etc., all being more-widely facilitated by social networking and other websites, it's probably easier than ever for people to care less about connecting to others and focusing on getting/pursuing what they like. This speculative theory of mine suggests it's more unfortunate than unsurprising that Feedism communities like this one are affected by increased individualism, reduced empathy, and implicit bias. And yes, by "implicit bias" I mean racism, but I also am describing the other biases that lead people to give disparate attention towards others, like the aforementioned blonde, tall, or "male/masculine feeder--female/feminine feedee" biases.

(Without making a virus allegory) I believe an online community is not immune to the social dynamics or cultural changes that users experience or are affected by, so it's possible the struggles of fetish communities have external sources in addition to internal sources.
3 years

What could be done to stop so many from leaving the community?

What community??

It's just a bunch of people looking to find like-minded people.

The days of "Community" are long gone. People show up, curious then leave. Remake and delete accounts, come here to get attention or money. Read a story and look at pics.

None of that stuff requires community. Just a Website.

Once they get what they need, they go back to their normal lives.

There is no community. Just a fetish that links us all, loosely.

The chat is 99% Snipers (people who immediately PM every woman who walks in) and Moneyseekers
(you're not a real feeder if you refuse to pay strangers, after all, right?)


Most people who have a phone can't use it correctly anyway and it turns the chat into a dead zone even more.

The forums are the same old recycled topics over and over that devolve into the same old tired arguments. Or just people doing personal ads, complaints.

Communities have goals, pride, and unity.

Even the "Plus size' movement usually thinks feederism is just abuse anyway. So we really can't even claim to be a legit part of that, either.

So yeah, the "Community' days are long gone if they ever really existed in the first place.

There are no leaders, there is no goal, it's just every person out for themselves, expressing fantasies when no one's looking hoping someone on here has the same thing.

Usually, those people have nothing else in common.


People leave the website all the time, they return all the time, but there is no community to leave.
3 years

What could be done to stop so many from leaving the community?

John Smith:
The Plus Size movement IS part of the culture.

X_Larsson:
Size preference is not "disruptive", "leftist", "rainbow", "feminist" or any other term to push guilt and distribution of wealth, which are new phenomena since the 60s or so.

Venus of Willendorf predates that whole "culture" by millenia!

John Smith:
The Plus Size movement is literally born out of the second wave feminist movement and Civil Right Movement who both promoted social egality for all people, regardless of their gender or color skin. And when fertility figurines were made, obesity and fuller feminine bodies weren't subjected to such vilipending by modern Eurocentric standaeda of beauty: standards who, ironically, Otherized theee same bigger bodies in such a way we've spent a whole century associating it to "exotic women" and by "exotic women" I mean women of color (especially black women) and "sideshow freaks" .

You need to check out your facts and not pulling out empty historical relativism without following up the vast, 5,000-years-or-so gap between how fuller-figured women were treated in prehistory and Antiquity versus the modern times.

X_Larsson:
So stop trying making feederism about "side acceptance", it is not! Some (limited!) common ground is what we share, that's it.[/quote]

It used to be about size acceptance. It used to be about coming together and either fighting for that acceptance or enjoying each others company.

Now its "here's a link to my content" or men just looking to get off and get back to their normal lives as previously mentioned. There is no community, its all about "gonna get mine"

Worst part is there's nothing that can be done about it.
3 years
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