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How do you know if you like fat on others only or if you like fat on yourself?

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Grizz   United States
Joined 3 years
Judy2:
I mean, I'm new to accepting this kink, I'm not even accepting it 100%... I thought I was a fat admirer of other people bellies and since I'm attracted to man, I wanted to experiment sexually with a man that has a fat belly... but what if actually I'm more turned on by my own fat belly? I'm not fat at all... I'm really afraid of getting fat... but sometimes I imagine myself with a fat belly and it's turning me on and I'm sooooo ashamed... I feel I could never fulfill my kink if this is my real kink... I would be too afraid...

How do you know what is your kink exactly when society and education brainwash you to be skinny?


I think you answered your own question, it seems like you are into the idea of getting fat yourself. I understand why you would be hesitant to gain. Social pressure, appearance, your health, physically and mentally it can be a lot to handle, but if it's something you truly desire you should go for it.

The only way to know is to gain a bit, like 5/10lbs and see how it feels. Then take it from there. I know it seems like a small amount of weight around these parts, but 10lbs can really make a difference in your body, especially at your size.
3 years

How do you know if you like fat on others only or if you like fat on yourself?

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Grizz   United States
Joined 3 years
Judy2:
It's hard to know.. because how to be turned on when you are ashamed of your body? I was almost anorexic in the past... it's really hard in my head to gain weight.. and If i was gaining 10 pounds... it would be in all my body not just my belly... i would prefer it would be only in my belly... to test it for real...[/quote]

Ah, I see. Well first and foremost it's important to take care of your mental health, so if you feel gaining weight will trigger you in any way, I'd advise against it.

For me personally the shame aspect of it can be a big turn on and that's ok when you're with someone safe. It can be disheartening at times struggling to find clothes, fitting in places, or feeling that shame or pressure from the people around you but for the most part I enjoy that part of being fat. Unfortunately we can't gain where we want, it's just the luck of the draw but you could try padding a bit. Seeing how you look in the mirror with a little belly, see how it feels under your clothes. It's not for everyone of course, but it might give you a feel of what you want.
3 years

How do you know if you like fat on others only or if you like fat on yourself?

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LilRascl   United Kingdom
Joined 9 years
Judy2:
I mean, I'm new to accepting this kink, I'm not even accepting it 100%... I thought I was a fat admirer of other people bellies and since I'm attracted to man, I wanted to experiment sexually with a man that has a fat belly... but what if actually I'm more turned on by my own fat belly? I'm not fat at all... I'm really afraid of getting fat... but sometimes I imagine myself with a fat belly and it's turning me on and I'm sooooo ashamed... I feel I could never fulfill my kink if this is my real kink... I would be too afraid...

How do you know what is your kink exactly when society and education brainwash you to be skinny?

Grizz:
I think you answered your own question, it seems like you are into the idea of getting fat yourself. I understand why you would be hesitant to gain. Social pressure, appearance, your health, physically and mentally it can be a lot to handle, but if it's something you truly desire you should go for it.

The only way to know is to gain a bit, like 5/10lbs and see how it feels. Then take it from there. I know it seems like a small amount of weight around these parts, but 10lbs can really make a difference in your body, especially at your size.

Judy2:
It's hard to know.. because how to be turned on when you are ashamed of your body? I was almost anorexic in the past... it's really hard in my head to gain weight.. and If i was gaining 10 pounds... it would be in all my body not just my belly... i would prefer it would be only in my belly... to test it for real...


Don’t rush! You have nothing but time on your side. Think about it when you’re in the mood to think about it; don’t when you’re don’t want to. I found reading the stories on here really helped me see what got me going, and what wasn’t for me. Maybe give them a try?

You will get wherever you’re going, despite the pressure we might feel from having to always define what/who we are in online spaces. Go easy on yourself and only do what feels good for you!

(Sorry, elder feedee millennial pep talk is over 🤣)
3 years

How do you know if you like fat on others only or if you like fat on yourself?

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Dolkite   United States
Joined 8 years
I've mentioned before that one of the most insightful things I read here was that if you get turned on by the prospect of being fat, you pleasure yourself, and afterwards, you are glad you're not fat, don't do it.

Often people think if something turns them on, they are obligated to embrace and express it, but there's a reason why people have sexual FANTASIES. Getting fat is a big commitment.
3 years

How do you know if you like fat on others only or if you like fat on yourself?

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LilRascl   United Kingdom
Joined 9 years
I’ll second that! I’ve never considered it this way before, but I 100% didn’t start intentionally fattening myself until my pre- and post-orgasm feelings towards getting fatter we’re the same.

Thanks for the random burst of personal insight, Dolkite!
3 years

How do you know if you like fat on others only or if you like fat on yourself?

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WideJuan76   United States
Joined 12 years
Judy2:
I mean, I'm new to accepting this kink, I'm not even accepting it 100%... I thought I was a fat admirer of other people bellies and since I'm attracted to man, I wanted to experiment sexually with a man that has a fat belly... but what if actually I'm more turned on by my own fat belly? I'm not fat at all... I'm really afraid of getting fat... but sometimes I imagine myself with a fat belly and it's turning me on and I'm sooooo ashamed... I feel I could never fulfill my kink if this is my real kink... I would be too afraid...

How do you know what is your kink exactly when society and education brainwash you to be skinny?

Grizz:
I think you answered your own question, it seems like you are into the idea of getting fat yourself. I understand why you would be hesitant to gain. Social pressure, appearance, your health, physically and mentally it can be a lot to handle, but if it's something you truly desire you should go for it.

The only way to know is to gain a bit, like 5/10lbs and see how it feels. Then take it from there. I know it seems like a small amount of weight around these parts, but 10lbs can really make a difference in your body, especially at your size.

Judy2:
It's hard to know.. because how to be turned on when you are ashamed of your body? I was almost anorexic in the past... it's really hard in my head to gain weight.. and If i was gaining 10 pounds... it would be in all my body not just my belly... i would prefer it would be only in my belly... to test it for real...

LilRascl:
Don’t rush! You have nothing but time on your side. Think about it when you’re in the mood to think about it; don’t when you’re don’t want to. I found reading the stories on here really helped me see what got me going, and what wasn’t for me. Maybe give them a try?

You will get wherever you’re going, despite the pressure we might feel from having to always define what/who we are in online spaces. Go easy on yourself and only do what feels good for you!

(Sorry, elder feedee millennial pep talk is over 🤣)


Yeah, I totally concur with what LilRascl said; you have time to explore this life and see what is practical for you and then adjust accordingly.
3 years

How do you know if you like fat on others only or if you like fat on yourself?

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WideJuan76   United States
Joined 12 years
Dolkite:
I've mentioned before that one of the most insightful things I read here was that if you get turned on by the prospect of being fat, you pleasure yourself, and afterwards, you are glad you're not fat, don't do it.

Often people think if something turns them on, they are obligated to embrace and express it, but there's a reason why people have sexual FANTASIES. Getting fat is a big commitment.


There are so many gems in this whole statement but the biggest truth is that fat is a major commitment being obese. I can't put on my gut and get a nice ego boost; this gut not only took effort but it takes effort to at least try to maintain strength when gaining flabby fat. Train oneself to be fat in ones dreams first then if you want more then expand to your hearts content.
3 years

How do you know if you like fat on others only or if you like fat on yourself?

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Edxl   Canada
Joined 16 years
There can be so many pieces to loving fat. The feel of being fat, the look of being fat, the reaction of others to you being fat, the way fat feels on another person, the way it looks on another person, being with someone who enjoys being fat, teasing someone for being fat, encouraging someone to get fatter, enjoying particular fat features (like bellies) on yourself or others, and on and on the list goes.

At first it can be really hard to figure out which parts appeal to you and which are just kind of benefiting from the halo of the rest of it. So for sure take some time and explore as best as you can before making any commitments.

Some things you could try:
- as someone already said: read fat related erotica, like the stories here or on the Library boards at Dimensions Magazine
- Look at pictures here of fat men and women. How do you feel looking at the men? What would you like to do with them or have them do to you? Which women would you like to look like? Can you imagine living your life in those bodies?
- you could try padding, although that is a lot easier if you have some privacy. As simple as shoving a pillow under a night-shirt, or as sophistacated as getting some larger clothes and using a mix of towels, clothes, or fancier tools to make yourself look bigger. If you have the chance to do something like going for a drive while padded and going through a drive-thru, how do you feel about it? (look at the padding board here for more ideas)
- pay attention to fat people around you in daily life. Would you like to date someone who looks like them? Would you like to look like them? Why or why not?
- lots of daydreaming and fantasizing (with or without masturbation). Deliberately push beyond your usual fantasies and try out different scenarios, and see how you feel abou tthem.
- and of course, discuss things here, because input from others who have been through similar processes might help!
3 years

How do you know if you like fat on others only or if you like fat on yourself?

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Ditzy   United States
Joined 10 years
Dolkite is right in so many ways and that is the way I feel about it.
Sometimes a fantasy needs to be just that a fantasy. You are not obligated to live out your fantasy in real life.
This is something you can keep to yourself and not tell anyone if you don't want to.
I used to date big guys when I was skinny because I adore fat bellied men.
Just remember you don't have to do anything you don't want to do or feel comfy with.
3 years

How do you know if you like fat on others only or if you like fat on yourself?

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MarshmallowMinotaur   United States
Joined 7 years
Dolkite:
I've mentioned before that one of the most insightful things I read here was that if you get turned on by the prospect of being fat, you pleasure yourself, and afterwards, you are glad you're not fat, don't do it.

Often people think if something turns them on, they are obligated to embrace and express it, but there's a reason why people have sexual FANTASIES. Getting fat is a big commitment.


This is it. In the beginning I got very turned on as I was gaining, but after orgasming I lost the desire and disliked myself for letting myself go. Other times I said to myself this (getting fat) isn’t me. I realized it was only because other fat guys turned me on, I wanted to be like them.

But as time went by and I got used to being fatter, didn’t get ridiculed, found I could buy larger size clothes I thought hey this isn’t so bad.

So I guess it was both... I love fat guys, and I actually got to like being fat, and liking how I look. In my case it just took time.
2 years