General

I also have a wife who is not exactly thrilled about my interests lol. She knows i love her belly and in the bedroom she'll push it out and let me rub it, but never tells me how she truly feels about it. All i get is the old "i do it because you love it" answer, and maybe that's the best I'll get.

Is your wife thinner and you want her to put on a few? And thats what shes having trouble deciding on?

I wasn't quite as direct, it was more like "I'm not a fan of thin. I like pretty much all other sizes, so don't worry that I'll ever think you are too fat for me. I want you happy and healthy above everything though." It probably wasn't as coherent or concise as that, and I think was broken up over a few conversations to get the full message, but basiclly that.

At the time she'd gained maybe 15 pounds from when we'd met, and was maybe overweight by the BMI chart but nothing close to fat. But she loves food, and genetics were on my side (SSBBW and BHM parents), and from there she gained another 75 pounds over the next five years before deciding that she'd gotten too big for her comfort and losing ~20 for a while. She's been back to around that initial high a few times, lost 20-30 pounds a few times, but keeps drifting back upwards over time until she really begins to feel too fat again.

She doesn't have any fat related kinks. Her tummy is sensitive, but my playing with her fat there is no sort of turn on for her. Sure she loves her butt being grabbed, but because butt grabs feel good not because it is big and fat. Some days she feels pretty good about her looks, some days she'd like to lose fifty pounds (I always listen sympathetically, but I don't think she is in any danger of her actually losing that much, certainly not of keeping it off for long).

But she does like the lifestyle, of being able to enjoy plenty of good food. She really is a foodie, loving to explore food, make food, eat food, think about food! She appreciates that I'm perfectly happy with that, but that I also help her to stay active.

So how did it work out? Pretty well I guess. It didn't work out like in my fat fantasies, and our sexualities have never matched up perfectly, but we muddle along pretty well and life is good.

Nice dude! Yeah similar situation for me and my wife. Doesn’t like me to rub her belly too long, “it feels weird” she usually says but still she gains a bit here and there and I just encourage it. Definitely aren’t fulfilling any big mutual gaining fantasies but it’s all good as long as she’s comfortable with herself. I just keep fattening myself up instead to sort of lead by example.

CuriousLearner:
She was on the thinner side when we married. Broke college student life more than actual choice. She put on a little weight after marriage but still on the thin side. When she got pregnant it I loved it. She's lost a fair bit of it but she's what I would call "normal chubby" now. Personally, I would love for her to gain 30 lbs but she hasn't said yay or no to it. When she's relaxed her belly definitely pokes out a bit. I play with it and she doesnt protest. She's just feeling it out I guess[/quote]

I see! My wife put on about 20 in college and i loved it. Ive been fantasizing for years about when she gets pregnant. She's pretty short so a pregnant belly and some baby weight would look fantastic on her.

It sounds like you had a really good healthy conversation as a couple and it also sounds like you’re doing your best to be honest with her. So, kudos.
I told my partner within a month or two of us getting together. He’s not big by any definition but he is very open-minded. He’s put on a few pounds in the last couple years, and similarly to what someone else was saying above, he lets me have my fun (Indulging only occasionally) because he knows I like it, not that he gets anything out of it. Total, 100% compatibility doesn’t seem necessary in terms of kinks/kink levels. I think if you can be there for your partner and if they can be there for you, it goes a long long way 😊