General

I just wanted to ask if anyone else on here has DID (Dissociative Identity Disorder) or Tulpas.

I've only ever seen one other person (an artist on DeviantArt) who even discussed tulpas before and through them I was able to figure out what I was going through.

Now I'll be honest I use the terms tulpas and DID interchangeably but there are differences. For example, not everyone with DID can talk to their other personalities like I can and that's mostly a tulpa thing so that's where the similarity sparks up.

I'm also aware of the stigmas surrounding mental health in general as well as DID. Most of the time I've seen DID portrayed as something detrimental or that the other personalities want to destroy their host, in my experience that just isn't the case.

This is why I wanted to have a sort of discussion about this to share their experience with this.

I also have a side question to go along with it that basically summarizes my experience with life: Have you ever felt so different you're not sure if your actually human? To that point that everything you do is copying how other people behave to fit in and then the mask is removed once your in private, and the only person who respects you for who you really are is the reflection in the mirror?

I... I have dissociation. I know its nothing like DID, but Ive heard bunch of stuff abt it and its tough, really.

Well as a dissociating being im not even sure am I real so No I dont feel that Im a human but I dont try to copy others either. Also I dont feel that Im a one person so yeah kinda split too, I also talk with my other parts sometimes..

Basicly No I cant relate, but even for people without any mh issues they may think or act as you described sometimes, but if it happends often might not be the healthiest thing?

That feeling of not being "real" is close enough to what I described.

You are real, trust me I've been through those thoughts too. Someone in my system (of identities) basically helped out by quoting Morpheus from the Matrix, "What is real? If you mean what you can see, hear, smell and touch than real is just a series of electrical signals in your brain"

Point is that being real isn't about being physical or being like other people but instead in existing and forming your own thoughts which your post is proof enough that you do (given you seem to have had these meta-cognizant thoughts which is key to sentience).

You don't know how much it means to find out that I'm not alone. Thank you.

You should check out tulpa.info, theres a whole community around tulpas.

I meant specifically that I wasn't alone in the fat fetish community, I'm not sure I want to bring up this fetish around other people with tulpas.

Like I said in my post, I've only seen one other person with a tulpa and they were an artist on DeviantArt, but alas I've never spoken to them about this because honestly I've been afraid how they'd react to my specific tulpas.

Recently that person also seems to have not been doing that well mentally either and I don't want to make them feel worse by bringing this up. Maybe I'm just being paranoid, I don't know.

I've only ever spoken to them once before, doubt they even remember me.

Wrote a huge text but internet problems ruined it..

Ohwell shortly: I think mh and fetishes are the same that if u are on mh site u dont bring ur fetish up and vice versa. Ppl tend to keep their mh, fetishes to themselves.

What u are searching is really rare to find here. And by that I mean dont be afraid bc there might be a few who feel as u do but there isnt a whole lot of them. Bad part is probs that those few who have it wont probs ever talk about here. Good thing is: someone might DM you about this.

As for me I can basicly talk about everything so yeah free to DM too if u feel like it. Hmm Ive cut intentionally and not so intentionally most of my life into something that isnt me so my other personalities arent even aware that Im into what im into and that means they cant have opinion about it either. Having them judge me from my past and everything else is already difficult enough. Thats not something everyone can do but yeah..

The tulpa thing, is it not creating characters as lively and realistic that they start to “live” in your mind? Isn’t it on purpose and such?

I read about it previously and DID and it seems to be two completely different things?

I think you're right on this. Hence why I've only seen one other person who has a tulpa. No one wants to say anything about it in either way.

Though as for me the reason I'm open about it is because we are all into fat in this system and it's such an important part of our lives that honestly the two can't be separated.

Who they are is somewhat defined by their fetish and being a DID identity. Thus I feel it necessary to explain the two together.

Four of them are rather tall (3 are actually giantesses but shrink themselves down to around 7 ft tall), and out of those four one is also on the heavier side.

If anyone saw her it would be obvious my mind made her to make me feel comfortable about having a fetish like that, the shape of her body is too perfectly rounded in all the right areas to not have come from sexualizing it. (I'm skinny myself, hence why I'm the only one who can see that part of her)

Maybe I'm the only one who would notice but still this is why I don't just talk about them that openly as only in a place like this would that part be understood.

I may take you up on the DM offer, I'd be happy to talk more about this with you.

Yes and no. People have truamagenic tulpas (spelling might be wrong), tulpas who were made by their mind in response to trauma, meaning that tulpas can also be made unintentionally.

In the idea of characters, yes I think most tulpamancers make them based on fictional characters either they created or they saw elsewhere, that is when they do it intentionally.

I go interchangeably between the terms because I can talk to them (which seems more like tulpas), but I also have the dissociation and questioning of reality that comes from DID.

Also because no one will beleive my story of having had my identities long before they were turned into fictional characters for a TV show by someone who didn't know us (which I assume/hope is due to simultaneous invention or multiple discovery).

It's a long story but basically you have seen my other identities before but in a way that doesn't really showcase who they, it's more like a horrible sick parody of them that honestly is actually libel given what it says about them.

I sometimes debate on actually going to court over this, though I doubt I'd win. Though I also think that if I do start introducing them to the world as themselves that no one could sue us because they'd be trying to claim copyright of a real person.

Still I'm honestly so afraid of this which is also why I wanted to bring this up as I'm just so afraid of what will happen if I just try to live my life.

I've wanted to make let's play videos for YouTube but the minute I say their names aloud I might get into a copyright lawsuit over my mind and soul.

I've also wanted to make sketch comedy videos too and again, once they come onto camera (I'd have to change my physical appearance to match them so the audience doesn't get confused) I also could get sued. I'm stuck in a stalemate.

If I breathe I'm sued. End of story. Unless, I'm wrong but I just don't and I don't know who to ask. I feel like I'm going insane (yes, I know quite the accomplishment given I'm already there) and I don't know what to do.