I'm new to feederism, but various pieces have been coming together for a long time, which collectively made it a passion for me.
I've always found large women's breasts attractive, and, when younger, mine were abnormally small (long story), before pregnancies when they grew and stayed larger. I also like big rounded or fat, squishy bottoms. I read about primitive societies who fatten their women up on healthy food for 6 months before trying to get pregnant, and it checked out scientifically. (That's probably why ancient fertility dolls look like they do.) I'd always been lean without dieting, and an athlete. But I tried hard to gain and maintain 15 pounds before pregnancy, and then ate all I wanted during pregnancy, for another 35 pounds. I loved being pregnant, so relaxed, slept amazingly well, and was super creative. And of course I ate, ate, ate during this time, which is probably part of why. I discovered I LOVED pregnant sex because of all the fullness. I felt so womanly, so full and big. For me, this is what stuffing or bloating replicates. I still have a tipped uterus, so I bloat protruding and rounded like I am pregnant (so much that I need different sizes sometimes), and that can be erotic, holding and feeling around my rounded belly.
And an odd thing: when I was just starting to develop hormones and before anybody told me about the facts of life, which in any case were not shared too much with girls back then, I discovered self-pleasuring in the pressed crossed legs pose of having to go, but holding it. So I shouldn't be too surprised that later in life I came to love filling myself with fluid and holding it during sex. The strong pressure is very arousing and pleasing, and of course feels more full. Several fantasies and kinks all have to do with being filled up, bloated in some way, so there is that in common. Maybe because the opposite was encouraged growing up, though I've always been a good and eager eater.
I ran across feeder videos and they were an amazing turn-on. I've been looking into it since for a few months. Though a prior medical miscommunication, I ended up on too high dose of hydrocortisone (cortisol, the stress hormone), which put on a pad of belly fat, and heavier weight in general, for too long. I gained about 30 pounds, and stayed just at the overweight/obese BMI line for 3 years.
A couple of weeks ago, I started deliberately gaining, mostly with heavy cream and eating treats if I want. Hello, pudding and Boston Cream donuts. Already I have noticable soft new fat, and it feels so soft and nice! Silky. And many small things got better that I did not even know apparently needed some fat. Plus I am much more mellow and happy. I love this feeling! So I am going on...
Planning to eat to target bigger curves filled mostly with healthier, soft, subcutaneous fat. I hope to have a handful or more wherever. I like imagining how the extra curves might look -- so different for me -- and how it might feel to carry that extra weight on the various parts of my body. To feel its pull. Yes, I have a vivid imagination.
In recent years, I have also discovered my submissive nature, so opposite from my daily life. So being fed by a feeder, with the surprise of not knowing what he would bring/make, what I would eat, how much I could eat, being expected to eat so much, is definitely a desire.. Wondering what it will do to my body, how much and how fast. How big could I get if I want? And knowing it's a turn on for him and he wants to see and feel my bloated belly after eating, hands on, its fullness, and feel my soft fat as it grows in various places, is pretty darn exciting.
I guess all the pieces just came together.
3 years