Lifestyle tips

I’ve been like this my whole life. Liking girls who stuff themselves full and are all big and fat I are who I find very attractive in life, including pregnant women. But most of the time, I try to distance myself from my fetish. I have a girlfriend who’s not into that stuff, but she supports me in anything I want to do. I feel like I won’t be accepted, if I change my body I’ll look chubbier, I’ll be judged, life with get harder, and I’ll regret it. I see people who are successful in life, and they don’t weigh above 200 or 250. I’m nervous and I’m unsure about my fetish because I want to be loved and accepted and to feel my best. I’m unsure which side to chose, my normal life side that everyone sees or the fetish side of me that I love, I feel affection towards and could make me feel good... I’m so stuck and now I feel like I have a community who will listen and understand me.
Can anyone relate or understand how I’m feeling? Any advice?

I actually feel the exact same way but when I got to college I took the dive and I proceeded to gain roughly 55-60 pounds on my own, my gf is the exact same way and she began to like my bigger size until I went home and then my family made comments and such leaving me to lose most of the weight I kept about 10 or so pounds on and now I’m in the very same boat

I've thought the exact same way too. I even tried to gain at one point. Gained like 30lbs and ended up losing it all. But I always come back to this. My wife has gained quite a bit over our years together. She has had some reservations sometimes. But most of the time she owns it and doesn't let it bother her or slow her down. Of course she knows I love the way she looks. But her health takes priority. Thankfully she doesn't have any health issues. I have health issues, not from weight. But that make it very hard to gain. But, recently I have tried again to gain and have been much more succesful and have loved it so far. I also figure since I am now 41 that I won't have many years to enjoy being a larger size and not having health issues. So, I figure let me give it this one last try to gain a decent amount. If I lose it , I lose it. But at least I won't go my whole like wondering if I ever would have liked it more. I have gotten comments from family. But I knew I would. Most just think I am healthy, since I am normally underweight. Or I just blame it on medications. That eliminates all intent or reasons anyone might ask why. So now I am just trying to enjoy it the best I can for as long as I can. My wife thinks its great! So ya never know. you might really like it or find it suits you. Best of luck!

Don't feel too bad, I think this is actually super common. For a huge percentage of people here their fetish is a dirty secret that they're not ready to accept, and sadly maybe never will.

For gainers, all the time I see accounts that are 5+ years old saying things like they're "trying to break the 200lb mark". If they've been actively trying to gain weight for half a decade and aren't even over 200lb yet, they should sell their secrets to the diet industry for billions...

Then on the other hand you have feeders who profess to love fatties, but in real life they only ever date thin people. They're like gay people who only date the opposite sex, but still consider themselves as being gay. Unfortunately in both cases they're too worried about what society (and especially their family and friends) will think of them to "come out the closet".

The key word of "Fantasy Feeder" seems to be the "Fantasy" part, because for most that's sadly all their fetish will ever amount to.

If you're ashamed of your fetish, then keep it in the rear-view mirror. Don't suddenly look to hang out with the fat friend or coworker to make up for it. You have a gf who loves you and not into it, make the most of it. I've seen folks who couldn't be alone only to hurt others, as I've also seen folks with trophy gf/wives to keep up appearances only to hurt others.

When I was strictly feeder in high school, I had friends who ran a video (vhs rental) store and rented pornos, but wouldn't rent the fat porno that I wanted. It stung but with us all going separate ways in College; I told myself I wasn't going to be a closet FA and in-spite being alone at times, I felt so free meeting and dating the bb/ss and ussbbw I've wanted but couldn't get in high school.

To the original poster as well as any and all others here, I'd like to offer a few things that I've learned in my nearly half-century on this planet now. Maybe you will find them helpful:

1. Your feelings are yours and yours alone, including your feelings of attraction and arousal. Whatever gets you excited and makes you feel good, thats's yours to keep and no-one can take that away from you, not your family, your friends or even your partner. Whatever feelings you have about your body or your sexuality are there for some reason, so own them and embrace them. You'll be much happier when you do.

2. Your body is yours and yours alone too. You can do what you want with it. There will always be someone out there to judge or criticize us by what we look like: too fat, too skinny, too tall, too short, too ugly, too pretty.... the hell with all of it. Just be yourself and be happy and confident in who you are, regardless of your size or weight, that's always more than good enough.

3. Fat is natural and a part of life. We eat, we gain weight, sometimes we lose weight. We go up, we go down. Its really just as silly a thing, if you think about it, to obsess over how many pounds you want to gain as it is for someone obsessing over dieting and such to fret over losing pounds and inches. Again, just be yourself and let it happen naturally. Most likely if you are not actively pushing yourself to lose weight, then weight will pile on over time. Be patient and be kind to yourself always.

4. Fantasies are just that: fantasies. Sometimes we can act out in real life some of our fantasies, but it doesn't make them any less potent or meaningful if we just keep them to ourselves. If we are lucky we will find someone who loves us and accepts us enough that we feel comfortable and safe sharing our deepest and most intimate thoughts and desires. Even luckier still we would be if we find a partner who shares similar fantasies to our own. But we can't control what our partners think and feel any more than they can control us. All we can do is be honest with ourselves, and in turn be honest with the people we love about who we really are.


There's a lot more I could say, but I will end for now just saying that the worst thing you can do to yourself in life is try to deny yourself who you really are. Whatever passions or desires you have inside of you, you can't hide them under a bushel or shroud them in darkness. You have to be true to yourself, as trying to suppress your true feelings will only make them come out in unhealthy ways. We are all so fortunate that we have places like this place here where we can come together with like-minded people who understand us, and we can share openly about whatever we are going through. Keep at it, don't give up - the answers you seek will reveal themselves in time.

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