Gaining

Have you gained less than you want to for fear of getting too fat? Or for fear of the risks associated with getting as fat as you'd like?

If you could get obesity insurance, that would help you financially if your gain caused problems, would you buy it?

If you did buy it, do you think you'd get fatter than you expect to now?

I have stopped short of my goals before, in part because I didn't know what I really wanted in so many different aspects of my life, and also in part to a lack of support.

Things are different for me now. i live a simple, modest, and comfortable lifestyle and have never been happier. I meditate a lot and could be happy sitting all day staring at a blank wall. That's not as easy as it sounds, by the way. In addition to that, I am actively building relationships and a support network around myself while adapting my home as possible to anticipate my larger size. I'm modifying my activities to exclude things that are high impact so that my joints will hold up for longer under heavier weight while engaging in others that will help protect myself from future injury. I'm learning to move more slowly, to have more patience and to give myself more time to do things in general.

I've got serious minded encouragers. My medical insurance is in order. I have an MD, Psychiatrist, psychologist, OT, PT, and specialists as needed who will help me adapt and stay as healthy as possible for as long as possible. I have channels lined up for additional in home services standing by if I need additional household assistance, equipment, or palliative care. I have a clear sense of boundaries regarding what I will and what I won't accept regarding my care and treatment.

I assume as little as possible and allow people trying to help me to do just that and to do what they're good at. i accept help with gratitude, and am mindful of the demands I put on others.

So basically, I'm on my way. My team and I will cope with any surprises that arise. It's a very odd thing how submission can be so empowering.

There are a few things holding me back.

First and foremost, I'm not even at 200 yet and my blood sugar jumps to pre-diabetes too quickly. (Predisposition.) So right there, if you could take away a health risk like this? I'd be bigger.

I am also trying to build muscle as well as a belly - the look I want is more solid and soft, and it takes way more time to build the solid part. LOL!

Age, but not in the way you think. I'm old enough to have spent decades being (forcing myself to be) thin/skinny, and I have a LOT of baggage that I have been unpacking as I've slowly gained the last 30lbs.

I have fantasized about being 200, and 800lbs. I don't know how big I'd actually get with total freedom, but this? *points to self* This ain't it. 🤣

I’m 5’6”, the thought of getting to 280-300 is exhilarating. But clothes are the issue. I have a lot of good clothes that fit me now at 215-220 (42 w pants 17-18 neck shirts) , and will take to maybe 230. I was 245 at one point in snug 44 w pants. So it’s outgrowing my entire wardrobe that holds me back.



No, because at the weight I fantasize about I’d be very uncomfortable. So, another reason my gains will be self-limiting.