General

Well, as far as I know, NAAFA was the first organization for large people and their admirers. This started in 1969. They have never condoned gaining on purpose however. There was a song about Feederism by Allan Sherman called "Grow Mrs. Goldfarb." I believe this was from the early 1960's. But I guess people just had to seek out larger people, and see if they were interested in gaining. Or perhaps just being with a BBW/BHM was enough without the gain.

I remember in school when they showed us this new thing they were calling the "Internet".

When I started college the next year (1995), we only had text browsers. We had state-of-the-art 486 desktop computers.

I remember the magic of discovering places like dimensions and stuffedonline... You could read stories other people had written. I wish I still had copies of some of those stories.

web.archive.org/web/20020803042551fw_/http://www.stuffedonline.com/

Up until that point, it was just waiting to maybe here about how someone had eaten a pizza by themselves, or maybe getting to observe someone eating more than normal (two subs) or maybe commenting how full they were after eating.

It is fascinating to see how differently young people who have never known a world without the internet see the world and process information. For me, the internet didn't really exist until I was in my early twenties, and I really didn't start to become active online until my mid-to-late twenties. It was at this time that I discovered terms like "feeder" and "FA" - I had always felt and thought about what those things meant, but I never realized that there were enough people out there who also had those same thoughts and feelings that it would necessitate actual terminology.

To be certain, the idea of people getting pleasure from food and drink, from feeding and overeating, from gaining weight and getting fat - are not new concepts by any means. Since ancient times people have enjoyed these things. From the Venus of Willendorf, the wild and glutinous orgies of Ancient Rome, the plush full figured women painted by Renaissance artists like Reubens, to the now well known fattening and inflation scenes of pre-internet twentieth century animation and film (Chow Hound, Pigs is Pigs, Willy Wonka, Charlotte's Web, etc.) - someone was getting excited by all of this. It would be naive to think otherwise.

My own fascination with fatness was awakened at an early age by some of those movies and cartoons I mentioned earlier. By the time I reached puberty in the mid 1980s, I was keeping sketchbooks and journals where I could write and draw the fantasies that I had in my mind. At that time, I really had no idea that there was anyone else on earth who thought about or got turned on by the same kinds of things.

As a very young man I can recall hearing the term "chubby chaser" being tossed around, referring to a man who had an apparent preference for a larger woman (it wasn't until later that this term would be used more commonly among gay men.) With this term there seemed to be a sort of connotation that these men were interested in fat women in spite of their weight/size rather than because of it however.

At some point in my late teens or early twenties, before I got online I discovered some magazines like Buf and Juggs that had some stories and layouts which celebrated larger figures and even made some references to weight gain. Some of these were still kind of crudely exploitive and done in more of a jocular way than being overtly sexual (in line with some novelty gag items featuring fat women at a place like Spencer Gifts.)

So yes, even though I had some clue that I was not the only man on earth who dreamed about being with a sexy fat woman - watching her eat and get fatter - getting online and finding communities like this one is what made me realize just how widespread and common it really was. I'm very grateful to know that I am not alone, although in the end I know that my journey through this part of my life is mine and only mine.

In the end its up to each of us to decide what these feelings really mean to us. The internet can give us lots of pictures and videos to look at, and can allow us to share our stories and experiences with one another - but going to the source and discovering where these feelings and desires really come from is what will allow us to really own them, and from there decide what to do with them.

@ljrockarts

Yup. That's the difference of time. I don't know a world without the internet. Well, except my early childhood. If I wanna know something, I'll simply google it. If I wanna watch something, I'll google it. If I wanna learn something, I'll google it.

The last part of your post is kinda deep. I like that! It sounds like a real advice for the life in general, not only regarding that.

Wow! My mind is blown!! I forgot all about 'Stuffed Online' It was a trip to look at that archive link and thumb through the forums a bit. I tried to look and see if I could find any of my old posts (because I'm almost certain I posted there at least once or twice.) No luck thought. Still, what a trip to see that page again, as well as some of the old names that I recognize. Thanks for that trip back in time, @wolffeeder!

We really do live in an amazing time. Never have we as a species had more access to more information than we do right now. We also, unfortunately have easy access to a lot of bad data and misinformation (ie: bullshit) than we have ever had. It's never been easier to get truthful messages out to the world, but its equally as easy to propagandize and gaslight people.

While our public library system (here in the US at least) is largely a social program run by state and local governments, the libraries which were once our only reliable source of information are full of data from a wide variety of sources and authors. Google, which as you have indicated is by far the most widely used search engine on the planet right now, is a corporate entity run by a relatively small group of individuals. That's a lot of data running through a very small funnel.

I'm not hating on Google; I use it often myself. But in the current climate, we must still do our due diligence to see that we can verify from multiple sources that the things that we "Google" are indeed the whole truth. I'll be happy to see if in the future we can build a more just, truthful and informative internet - one that works for the common good more than it works for commerce.

Not to get too far off topic, but I'm often amazed at what I see young musicians and artists doing today. These are kids who (many of them at least) clearly are self-taught and learned a lot just from watching videos, listening to music and looking at art. There is just so much at our fingertips now. I often wonder what my life would have been like I had a grown up in a world where I had all of that data available for free at the click of a button.



Being self aware and being mindful is so important. When we find ourselves having an emotional reaction to something, its so important that we ask ourselves why we think we are feeling what we feel. Where do these feelings come from? Before we just react and act out, we should know why and we should be able to anticipate what the consequences of our actions will be.

If you go to stories and go alphabetical, they all seem to be there...

Or they didn’t. As a shy person with low self-esteem who already did not fit into society (i was gender blurry long before any such concept was articulated. Hid it, was a “broken” boy then man), my coping mechanism was denial and deep suppression into the subconscious/unconscious. A lot of this gets into my specific personal history, and this thread is not the place for that.

tl;dr for me becoming an adolescent in the 1970s: society showed me images of average-slender men and women. I felt flat-out nothing for either, concluded i was asexual. (For reasons specific to me, this was a relief.)

Then one day at the public library (1975 or ’76), i spotted the first large SSBBW i’d ever seen: a girl around my age, wobbling and bobbling as she waddled like no one i’d ever before seen. Sudden hormone EXPLOSION—dam burst! Again a long story not for here, but i was terrified and suppressed that whole incident for years.

In some ways, at least some of us are being pushed back to a century-plus old world of only knowing what actual local people around us know. At least me in terms of what i can trust. If i get it directly in-person from someone i know, or electronically via either an encrypted channel else one i have reason to believe is not compromised, i’ll believe it. Most news sources i do not, including some i trusted for decades that now seem wholly off the rails.



Mmmm, i’d have to do some research and check with my mom, but pretty sure that a number of libraries were local non-government non-profit community benefit entities. At least half a century or more ago.



I’ll hate on Google for y’all: i hate them, and use as few Google/Alphabet services as possible.

For search i use Duck Duck Go. Several years ago doing side-by-side comparisons, there was only 1 search out of 20 where Google had something that DDG did not, and it wasn’t all that important a search to me.

The due diligence is an excellent point, applicable regardless of source.



^ Outstanding point and critical for the survival of polite, free societies. When someone wants me to Act Now (online petition, share, etc.) i make myself stop. Deep breath, check sources, think about the bigger picture. Roughly half the time i may want to proceed. The other half no, for differing reasons. Sometimes it seems like a good idea on the surface, but is not well thought out.

Got off-topic—sorry. Back to the OP’s point.

Early 1980s, just out of university. First love of my life: circa 163 cm (about 5'4" tall tending-petite young American woman of Japanese and Hawaiian ancestry. Didn’t feel i had any choice (low self-esteem again) and she loved me! Her younger sister was already BBW fat, her mother SSBBW fat. Father was fat, brother slightly thick. I had high hopes.

In some ways it should have been living the dream—she got a job at a bakery and fattened up (somewhat. Not fiction story huge)—but having never heard of NAAFA nor anyone else on the planet loving fat women (or fat people), i suppressed my desires as yet another bizarre anomalous part of me. I was “stuck in my head” and seriously disconnected from awareness of feelings at the time—especially my own. She could read feelings very well, and might well have picked up on desires i had that i could not verbalize. I don’t truly know how much of her fattening was for herself (choice, freedom, etc.) vs. me (keeping our fairly dysfunctional love bond more securely together). She gained from an unknown starting weight i’d guesstimate around 120 pounds up to about 155 pounds: 5 more than me at the time. At that time i’d rarely if ever seen a woman with her build and ethnic background with boobs, and hers swelled from small to what i now estimate were about 32D, along with some nice, soft belly fat.

The topic of fat was pretty much forbidden verbally. Only my hands on her during intimacy were allowed to speak.

Discovered the hard way that yelling out in orgasmic bliss “You weigh more than meeeeeeeeee!” is a spectacular way to get someone on the fence about being fat to go on a diet. We were together several more years after this, with a lot of major interpersonal difficulties having nothing to do with fatness. She did drop back maybe halfway between where she started and her peak, and that seemed good enough for her. It would surprise me if she didn’t eventually get as big as her mom, but she and i needed very different things from life.

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Got onto dial-up BBSes sometime near the end of the 1980s/start of the 1990s—forgot exactly when. Busy with other aspects of life, only lukewarm about computer stuff, so didn’t spend a lot of time on it. I can’t recall if i found any fat-oriented BBSes or not, or if i even looked. Had my second-ever girlfriend during this time: a thin woman who never got even plump. We had a lot in common, but didn’t communicate well and i could not for the life of me get hard without her bending over for some hip splay and me grabbing what little hip plushness she had and closing my eyes and using my imagination—not fair to her, nor me. When my desires for fatness slipped out (never mentioned on purpose), it was argument fodder and an opportunity for her to shame me for having those desires. Thankfully we never lived together and only dated over about half a year, which was about 4-5 months too long.

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So basically, for me it just Did Not Work pre-Internet. Discovered NAAFA in a local free tabloid newspaper mid-1993. Joined but the Internet was already ramping up, so i couldn’t see paying for a paper-based dating service. At least now i knew there were other people like me and i was not an incorrigible freak!

For various reasons not relevant to this post beyond my perpetual shyness, did not attempt to connect with anyone until 1996. Cross-country Internet romance over the Usenet Newsgroup alt.sex.fat—long story. The romance extinguished fully circa 2009, but BBW Siber Hussy remains my housemate/ex True Love, and is in the other room doing whatever right now.