General

I understand where you're coming from. I had that fear as well. Getting my own apartment helped me very much. It gave me my own space to grow, without worrying about what my parents would say.

Of course, people might still say something about my weight, but I did not need to listen to it every day.

As I gained weight, some people were shocked at how big I had become. They made comments about it, but they eventually got over it. As I lived my life and changed jobs, my new co-workers did not have any memories of me being skinny. They just knew that I was fat the entire time that we worked together.

I know gaining weight can be scary, but I got used to being fat, and so did other people around me. Eventually, my being fat just became normal.

If you'd like, try gaining 9 to 13 kg. It should be just enough weight for other people to notice and say something. Then just stay at that weight for a while, and see if other people eventually stop mentioning your weight.

You might notice that they get used to your new weight. If that happens, you'll have a better understanding of what the experience will be like. Then you can keep gaining, knowing that other people will eventually get used to your larger size. I hope this helps.

One strategy is to experiment with a slow but steady gain. Just over-indulge here and there when you get the urge and see where it takes you. A slow gain helps people see the new normal before they notice any big changes.

A short answer is that comments from people you care about happen for a moment. In most cases if you don't make a big response to their comments the moment will pass and you can be fat in peace.

Back when I had an advice column I helped one woman talk to her mother about this stuff. It may help you if you end up gaining:

Dear Dr. Feeder--
My name is Amanda. Last year I began university, and because of this had to move away from home onto campus.
One thing I had promised myself to do when I moved out of home was to gain weight.
Since moving onto Campus I have just let myself go completely, and as a result gained 50lbs.
However, this summer I will be visiting my mother back home whom is very into healthy eating, and so forth.
Let me say right now that I am not loosing any weight whatsoever for her, nor do I intend to stop.
But, I do not know what to say to her to avoid her from being too upset.
What can I say to prevent her from being too angry?

Dear Amanda--
You may not be able to keep her from being angry. Settle for keeping her from nagging you to death. Try:
1. If she gets angry, DON'T get angry yourself.
2. If she asks why you gained, say it's because you like to eat and don't mind the extra weight.,
3. If she asks you why you don't diet, say you've tried diets and have found you're happier eating what you want.
4. If she makes a comment about your weight that is not in the form of a question, don't respond.
5. If she says something mean, say "Now you're just being mean."

And remember the NEVERs:
NEVER apologize for your gain;
NEVER apologize for your size;
NEVER apologize for your appetite.
NEVER promise to lose weight unless you really want to.
If she tries to get you to eat healthy food (fruit & vegetables, etc.) go ahead and eat it. It will make her feel better. You can still eat your favorite goodies as well.

If she won't shut up about it, say 'look, I know you're just saying all this because you love me and you want what's best for me, and I appreciate that, but it's my decision and you need to respect that.
Let me know how it goes!

Dear Dr. Feeder--
Sorry for the long reply period, I only flew in a couple of days ago. As you can imagine, it wasn't great at all. But surprisingly I didn't feel down about it whatsoever! When I first gave my mother a hug, she put her hand on my stomach and patted and squeezed it, constantly glancing down at it. It was horribly awkward. For some reason I expected that would be it. Later that night she gave me a brief "discussion" about my weight and asked me if anything was wrong and so forth. I explained to her exactly what you suggested, that I was happy the way I was and didn't feel the need to diet. Amazingly though, that was it!
Thankfully, she hasn't said anything else yet about my weight which I'm very pleased with. Thank-you so much for your help - the food here is quite healthy, so for that reason I'm looking forward to returning home where I can eat what I like.
Again, thank-you so much for the wonderful advice.