Fat experiences

I love curvy women. My wife gained 40 lbs over the last years (she’s 185 lbs at 5’2) I kind of expected that gain as she has not much of a self control mechanism and loves sweets and chocolate and hamburgers. Plus her metabolism stores every single calorie. So far so good.
I tell her she’s beautiful but she hasn’t yet managed to get comfortable with her weight. She tries to diet but then again buys all kinds of chocolate 🙂 Funny thing: part of her family is fat and enjoying themselves while the other part is fatphobic. So I don‘t know if she really hates being overweight because she wants to please the fatphobic part.
Anyway - I recently restarted stuffing myself a little bit and I had almost forgotten how awesome that feels. I gained 20 lbs over the last two months and absolutely love my new gut. I can’t stop admiring it.
My wife is still considerably fatter than me but she now talks about diets for the BOTH of us. While munching on chocolate…
I don’t really think she will lose weight but anyway… If I had three wishes they would be: 1) my wife gains (much) more weight but 2) is happy about it and 3) likes my extra pounds too.
I can’t really talk to anyone I know about this so I‘m happy to have found this place.
I know I can’t brainwash my wife and don’t want to either, but now I have to find a way to deal with this situation. Can anyone relate? Comments/ suggestions welcome 🙂

I can sort of relate.
I was in a relationship with an older man and he was a fit retired Army vet.
He didn't mind me being a gainer and was really supportive and if gaining made me happy then he was OK with that.
I have always been into chubby all the way up to really fat guys and he knew that.
I got him to gain 20 lbs which on him it was hard to see the gain because he was pretty buffed. It just looked like more muscle.
He didn't like the extra 20 lbs and lost it.
You can't force anyone to do something they don't want to do.
She will probably keep gaining if you do because she knows you love her unconditionally.

I'm kinda in this boat. My wife was a very active part of the comunity about 11 years ago. Sadly following a serious illness she is having to lose the weight. Thankfully our relationship is not entirely weight based, but I'd be lying if I said it hurts that she is losing weight. But she allows me to be here and interact online and that's wonderful.

Sorry to hear she is having problems.
It is nice she lets you continue on here.
11 years ago is when I started coming here.

Just continue to love her without reservation and tell her as much. Letting a woman know she’s loved regardless of her weight is golden :-)

thx for sharing this. You’re right - forcing someone to do something against their will is out of the question. For me it’s just a matter of trying to find out how much she really hates that extra weight, whether it be on her or on me. I‘m still not sure that her fat aversion is from deeply within herself. She tells me that she doesn’t find fat attractive but many people that say that have been sort of brainwashed by society (or their thin mothers) and would probably think of it much differently if they were in a different culture with more fat appreciation.
I mean she secretly finished a giant 14 oz chocolate bar within a day and a half for crying out loud.

Thank you Ditzy, yes, she is very kind that way. I am positive that my recent gains may re-spark things...and if not, I'm very happy to be bigger.

Hi MCH,

I think I am exactly in the same boat. It isn’t as bad as you may think. Your wife is very conscious about being overweight, and this alone indicates she is emotional and clever. You may never be able to bring the topic openly as it will always trigger the perception of this being unhealthy or unattractive and that it has to be avoided.

I didn’t check but I assume you live in Europe where overweight people is considered a social topic which can be openly criticized? Don’t underestimate the power of this deep mind conditioning. It is very difficult (and sometimes impossible) to overcome for some peoples.

My advice: be patient. Don’t say much about it but demonstrate your love for who she is. I believe that women in love in a stable relationship have a natural tendency to put on weight. Good news!

Also, I have a secret: try to fall asleep with your arm around her, your hand on her stomach. Don’t comment or say anything, just that you love her. Let the magic happen.

Allow things to naturally progress and show genuine affirmation about her body without OVERDOING IT. You'll come across that you simply love this kink and not that you appreciate HER.

And be mindful, a women's self-image about her body is directly linked with her libido. Though a gain may be what you want, you may be playing with fire if things start to go south in your bedroom if she feels insecure and saddened about her appearance.