General

I've known that I'm a fat admirer for about as long as I've known that I prefer being skinny myself (that is to say, since I lost weight and started puberty in middle school). In recent years, however, it reached a point where I was so terrified of gaining weight that I was diagnosed as anorexic and had to be hospitalized (it's reached a more manageable level now, though I still have urges to restrict). It seems silly to discuss its impact on my fetish, but it's unquestionably something I've felt- on the one hand, I'm attracted to women growing so big their bodies resemble spheres when they sit, but on the other hand, I constantly struggle with a voice telling me I'm fat and ugly even though I'm clinically underweight.
I don't know if I can really say anything more about it besides 'it's weird', so I was wondering if anyone else had this issue.

Hi Cuddles,

I have struggled with OSFED ( www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/learn/by-eating-disorder/osfed ) in the past and was nearly hospitalized for it myself. I've had this fetish for as long as I can remember, and trying to juggle it alongside extreme weight gain aversion and very low self esteem was a full time job. I have been in recovery since 2019 and have mostly come to terms with it at this point.

Yes, I share the same struggle as well. I don't usually talk too much about it, whether it's publicly or privately, but I'm in the same boat.

I've only come to understand in the last 5 years or so that I likely struggled with EDNOS as an adolescent and likely orthorexia in my 20s. It's a story I'm actually not really ready to tell, but fortunately I've always been able to separate kink from real life and for me that means really just respecting and holding my boundaries at all costs. They were never related in any way that I can tell, so it's been very easy for me to enjoy it for what it is while working on myself otherwise.

No one is immune to disordered eating. Strongly recommend avoiding individuals in this community who minimize how severe it can be, or the fact that it can strike anyone at any time for any reason and it doesn't have anything to do with gratification. And especially if they enable it for their own gratification... Drop them like a bad habit

I certainly agree, just wonder if the feedism fetish might help people cope or at least counter-balance eating disorders. Do you think that's possible?

absolutely not. No. NO. This is such an irresponsible question to even consider. Only—ONLY—qualified medical and mental health providers can do this. I cannot even believe I have to say that out loud.

a kink is not a treatment for a disorder. Literally what is wrong with you.

I didn't say it was a treatment. Some have told me it helped though, just wondered what you thought.

What I think is that it's disgusting and dehumanizing to use feedists who have eating disorders as a mere token of discussion in a sexual conversation. and it's also irresponsible to encourage them to do so or imply that it can help. Having the kink and having an ED can both happen, but feedism is a kink, nothing more. ED treatment would help someone cope with feedism, not the other way around.

and nonethless, it is vile that you even thought it was a serious question to ask. Eating disorders can be fatal.

This is not a conversation for you.

Having sadly lost an ex gf/feedee to ED related suicide I feel I need to speak up here.

Liz was an amazing person, we had a number of similarities that bonded us together. Both being of partial Caribbean heritage food was central to the celebratory side of that half of our families.

She enjoyed eating and being fed. Her family in Guyana we mostly obese, her mother, a nurse married to a senior professor or renal medicine was very chastising toward her.

Before we got together, she swung from obese to overweight repeatedly due to a cycle of being away from home and indulging, then, whilst back from uni at home for summers, resorting to purging (bulimia).

When we moved from being friends to lovers and she was sheltered from scorn, she would ask me to feed her. She was the first person who introduced be to feederism. She got off on the control she had over her own indulgence. And for the 2 years we were together in our early(ish) 20s she was happy. She gained weight, she played and coached basketball, she was up with the sun, drinking less and was far more balanced as (she put it) she was in control of her own aesthetic in a way she found pleasurable.

We went our separate ways as i was committed to my regiment and it was not affording the lifestyle that she wanted (her father’s salary had given her a taste and expectation of a less demure lifestyle than that a junior officer can afford).

At this point she moved back in with her parents and then to an apartment near their home. The pressure on her to loose weight was significant and she began drinking clear spirits and living off salads. She was then pushed in to marrying an older man by her mother as she approached 30 and despite her and I remaining friends and her family indulging when visiting me or her brother, the cost of that loss of control of her “kinks” as some have phrased it, resulted in a downward mental spiral. 26months in to her marriage she chose, in a moment of pain to leave us.

One cannot separate all the parts of a human, our sexuality is a core part of our existence, as is our need for nourishment, air, shelter and a sense of purpose. These and other evolved requirements affect our perception of our environment and therefore our sense of stability and security.

There are elements of humanity in all our interactions.

A lot of others I met have had oppoing eating disorders, Binge eating for example. I have struggled that as well.

That being said, Feederism has helped me with my ED. I at one point didn't eat or drink and was literally dieing. I can easily get back in that mindset and i am fearful of gaining weight still. I have lipedema though so i gain whether i wish to or not.

But being around others who make eating seem normal and who aren't afraid to be fat and portray fat as a good thing has immensely helped me. But i do not own a scale or seek out feeders (Ive never been fed ROFL) because i know it would switch into the anorexia again.

So you are not alone, no.