Fattening others

Munchies:
It's fine. Sorry if I made you feel uncomfortable.

But that being said, you might want to stick with padding until you decide what you want to do. When you do feel comfortable taking the plunge, it's great. You feel like your body is finally doing what you want it to do.

I can't speak for everyone, but I felt more comfortable when I started gaining. I became bolder too. Honestly, I've got no regrets.

Munchies:
I don't know what to tell you […] fear until you do.

Noname078:
First of all, I’m definitely not looking for someone to give me permission to get […] I’m just trying to find my place in this community and if I can’t talk about my doubts here than were can I?

AnorexicPretty:

From what I understand, you are a Feeder and in doubt because you suspect you could also be a Feedee?

The topic is not about gaining or not gaining - so even well meaning advice about „you should work on what holds you back“ is a beautiful thing to receive in a forum and also supportive, I suspect that it’s not what you are searching for.

You are questioning yourself and your Fetish thoroughly I guess, it reads to me like you being in doubt if you are able to fulfill expectancies of a partner and enjoy the feeder/active/dominant/whatever part yourself at all - no matter the flavor - but in the end a fetish can develop over time, sometimes changing into a different version of itself. So even if you are not a Feeder yet but instead a Feedee right now, you might develop into a Feeder in a year or two. Fetishes are a bit like Pokemon, need to catch them all 😬

AnorexicPretty:

From what I understand, you are a Feeder and in doubt because you suspect you could also be a Feedee?

The topic is not about gaining or not gaining - so even well meaning advice about „you should work on what holds you back“ is a beautiful thing to receive in a forum and also supportive, I suspect that it’s not what you are searching for.

You are questioning yourself and your Fetish thoroughly I guess, it reads to me like you being in doubt if you are able to fulfill expectancies of a partner and enjoy the feeder/active/dominant/whatever part yourself at all - no matter the flavor - but in the end a fetish can develop over time, sometimes changing into a different version of itself. So even if you are not a Feeder yet but instead a Feedee right now, you might develop into a Feeder in a year or two. Fetishes are a bit like Pokemon, need to catch them all 😬

Noname078:
Thanks for your reply!
You are right that I am questioning my kink and how I fit into this community.

As I see it now, I have both a feeder and a feedee side.
I recognize this feeder side because I like it when others gain weight.
But I do have a feedee side aswell.
This side I recognize when I pad and enjoy a fatter version of myself or when I role play on Kik. Nothing turns me on like someone describing a timeline for me of how fat I’ll get under their influence.

To make it all even more complicated, depending on the situation I feel a certain role stronger.
While I like both fat men and women, I prefer a fat woman over a fat men.
So when talking to another woman, I find that my feeder side is more prominent.
The other way around, when I talk to a man, my feedee side is more prominent.

This makes that ever since I downloaded Kik (little over a month now?) my feedee side is indulged a lot more, as most of the people that message me are men (out of 100 messages no less than 2 were from women).

As someone who’s conflicted about gaining for real because of my history with anorexia, talking to these men is a though line to walk.
I constantly feel pressured to try gaining. Even when they don’t pressure me at all, I still fear that they’ll lose interest in me as my body stays the same (apart from the fluctuations between empty morning belly and stuffed evening belly). After all there are many lovely fatter women on FF.

And some days I really want to gain and become chubby or even fat. I’m tired of feeling bad about my body and when I see someone happily showing of their belly, I think: that could be me.
But then other days I feel really bad about my body and hate the little layer of fat that I already have and gaining seems line the worst thing in the world.

AnorexicPretty:
Maybe you would be into Mutual gaining? Because it seems you have both sides in you, and many many people both guys and gals search for a mutual. Have you tried that out?

Noname078:
I have tried out mutual gaining in role play, but obviously not irl as this would require me gaining with them and I’m still very conflicted about that.

In role play, I have liked it, but I’m also very into contrast so that element would be lost with mutual gaining, unless the relationship would be with a woman that’s top heavy (as this would be contrasted by my own bottom heavy figure).

I’m also not sure if I would be okay in a mutual gaining relationship. I fear it would give me more pressure to gain and I could possibly fear that this person might not like my gains but is afraid to tell it bc they themself are fat/gaining.
Although I get that if might be nice to share insecurities and go through this journey together.

I’m more and more realising that there probably isn’t one perfect solution to my situation and how I feel. I just hope to keep talking about this and that people don’t see me as too picky or difficult.

AnorexicPretty:
What I would suggest, when going the mutual route, is that everyone decides for themselves how far they go and that there is no being unhappy with the other’s gain (no matter of which kind the unhappiness could be). You should be allowed to gain in your own pace and your partner too, if you take breaks then so be it etc. Maybe confine the “controlling” element of the feeder/feedee play aspects to the bedroom, and just enjoy life together food wise during free time. Or would you prefer a lifestyle feedist relationship like 24/7? I think most people only prefer it in fantasy

DreadPoetSociety:
For me, I had to gain to know. I've hated my feedee side profusely, thinking it abominable. Gaining weight brought me such a sense of inner peace and even though I sometimes still wish I could lose it, I would never, ever want to be without the experience. It would have eaten me alive, no pun intended, if I hadn't indulged it. I've seen that here, too. Trying to fight it only makes it more extreme, in many cases.

That being said, it is a huge step and there will be consequences. Losing is hard and your experience isn't necessarily mine. There's also a very big difference in my mind between a chubby body (which I mostly felt bad about) and a fat body (which I really love). I would recommend experimenting, especially with fat women, and if you can find a therapist you can trust, work with them, too.

Best of luck out there.