General

Hey!

Has anyone on here had any luck with dating apps specifically for plus sized individuals? I recently just signed up for WooPlus, but I’m not sure what to expect. I also have FB dating but prefer to find something more specific to plus size men and women because 1) I might actually meet someone who is into what I’m into and 2) I dread the “oh your bigger than I thought” dates through a “regular” dating platform.

Basically I’m hoping to find success stories and / or other apps to join.

Looking forward to hearing responses !

Sites like woo plus are good for finding specific people but the user base can be a bit small depending on where your from and it normally shows you people pretty far away .

I haven't had much success with plus size dating apps . I'd personally say it doesn't matter what app or site your on . It just depends how you market your self .

If you make it clear your a bigger girl with photos and mention in your bio that you want someone who likes that about you then you shouldn't have a problem .

I've had zero luck with WooPlus or Feabie. Feabie seems pretty good if you're straight but glhf if you're gay. WooPlus was a ghost town and I live in a big city so it's not for lack of population density.

Has anyone tried Fantasy Feeder's paid dating stuff?

It's always been so expensive and walled off I can never tell if it's actually used.

Don't do it.. just don't. Be very skeptical. And for goodness sake, resist the urge to purchase a subscription.

I'll outline reasons why it's problematic, and some other things you can possibly do instead, alternatively.

Why Niche Dating Web Sites Are A Bad Idea

Like many multi-user online services, this kind of thing is very, very heavily influenced by a phenomenon known as "network effect," or "demand-side economies of scale." In a nutshell, it's the concept where a good or service is more useful to the customer and user, the more users there are of the service. This makes it very difficult for a new service to reach that point of critical mass. Good examples of this phenomenon in action is telephone service, messaging platforms, and social media platforms. If there were theoretically only two users, none of these examples of services are anywhere as useful as they would be with 10 users, and more useful still with thousands or even millions of users.

The Wikipedia article on the subject provides a good overview, if you wish to read more on it. en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Network_effect

So, if something is too niche, that special point of critical mass, where near maximum utility is achieved for most users, is unlikely to ever be reached. As users become frustrated or discouraged by the lack of activity, they start to visit less and less often, until ultimately giving up. the problem is further exacerbated if it's full of very old profiles that haven't been used in years, which commonly happens when the failed web sites want to appear far larger than they really are.

If you insist, stick with something with a general audience for the largest possible reach.

Why Dating Web Sites In General Are A Very Bad Business Model

I studied business, but even if you haven't, it's not difficult to understand that most private enterprise is of the profit-seeking variety, where they don't just want more revenue, they want more margins (profits).

As it's much more difficult and expensive to obtain new customers, it's usually easier and cheaper to do what you can, within reason, to maintain existing customers, and foster repeat business. Ever wondered why so many retailers and other businesses have these various loyalty programs? That's why. Generally speaking, this is only possible if customers are happy and satisfied with the product or service, and consider it a good value.

However... dating web sites and matchmaking services are the only business model I'm aware of, where satisfied, happy customers stop buying, but repeat customers are not pleased and unhappy.

A happy dating web site user will stop paying for the service. A particularly happy user might never subscribe again. This causes a perverse incentive where they don't want you to be happy, or to succeed. Their "golden goose" user is someone who's perpetually unhappy, paying for the subscription for years and years. They have no motivation to try to match you properly. Even if they did, how the hell would they ever really know? Only you, and the other person can ever really know whether it might work.

It often seems like folks either forget about this, or they never think about it this way. So, I have to point this out.

But if it's such a bad idea, what can I do instead? Here's what you can do, online and offline, but it requires keeping an open mind and having realistic expectations.

Online

Online, there's still several things you can do.

There do exist dating web sites for the general public where no subscription is required to send messages to other users. I'm not telling you not to use them at all, but whatever you do, don't pay for a subscription or use a site where you have to pay to send messages. And whatever you do, keep low expectations. I don't mean having low standards, I mean low expectations that you might actually find someone decent for you this way. If you're worried someone might thing that "oh wow you're much fatter in person" don't give them that opportunity. Mention it in your description, or better yet take body profile pictures. Doesn't everyone deserve to get an idea of what they might be getting? I know it's something I appreciate, regardless of body type or size. As a bonus, if someone really has a problem with it, then guess what? You can cut to the chase faster, and not talk to that person anymore.

Of course, there's other online web sites for all sorts of interests out there, or other general chat mediums. Who knows? Maybe you'll get to know someone there very well and you'll hit it off. You could meet someone off Reddit, or IRC, or Steam, or some web site about a shared fandom. Anything where the primary focus is NOT dating or meeting people, but either general chat or shared interests.

Don't throw caution to the wind, but keep an open mind.

(cont'd)

Offline

Sometimes, the older, time-tested ways still work. Maybe you meet someone through friends, or there's offline activities you engage in, where you might meet some folks this way.

And let's get real.. in 15 minutes, or even 5 minutes of talking to someone face to face, will tell you a whole lot more than weeks of sporadic online chat will tell you in all likelihood.

Even meeting folks at bars, coffee shops, bookstores, even retail and supermarkets still work. You really just never know what might happen.

And if you aren't engaging in any offline, in-person activities in your community and town, why not? If you're too shy or nervous, trying online probably won't help. If nothing like that is interesting to you, then odds are good you might not be interesting enough to hold someone else's attention, though not necessarily.

Unless folks in your area are very skinny in general, odds are as long as the activity isn't very physically rigorous, there are likely to be some others there who will be fat.

But whether online or offline, having some shared interests is nevertheless immensely helpful.

But if you don't explore offline possibilities, I expect you'd likely remain single for a long time. Usually someone can seem very different online, than offline. So oftentimes, while it may not be like starting from step 1 again, it'll be like starting from step 2 again.

How does one get banned from OkCupid and Tinder????

What did you do????

It's surprisingly easy to get banned from Tinder. Haven't used OKC in awhile so I couldn't tell you on that front but if enough fatphobes/misogynists report your photos for being fake or something it happens in short order.

I haven’t had much luck finding people from my area to connect with. It seems like everyone into larger people are completely spread out, and the ones who are close don’t have synergy or aren’t compatible ie not aligned sexually which kinda stinks because at a certain point you just want to make friends but even in that case it’s rough.