Fattening others

Fattening boyfriend

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Angy523   Russian Federation
Joined 2 years
Sooo...we were happy and everything was really good. He gained more weight and I felt like he is the sexiest in the world and the sex was awesome. Also, I asked him many times if he feels good about his gaining and he told me yes.
But yesterday he wore his uniform after 1 month and he felt his belt was hurting him. And today his annoying mother told him he got too fat. A few hours after that he told me he wants to lose weight until his uniform will fit well again. I tried to tell him to adjust the belt, but he told me it's the right size, but it hurts when he sits and the belly hangs over it...or when he bends. So I had to accept this argument. Ofc I don't want him to feel pain.

Before judging me again, I want to tell you that I LOVE HIM no matter what. And I will love him even if he'll ever be skinny. But I was sad all day because I just know I won't see him as attractive as I see him now. And we had many problems with our sex life because he thought I'm not as attracted to him as I should...it wasn't true, I was either stressed with some exams or having other problems and I explained to him. But he always doubted that.
Idk what I'll do when this would be actually true. I know I won't be attracted as I am now. Ofc I'll still like him, but it will be a difference for sure.
Usually the best solution is to talk to him. But how should I tell him something like this? I would be selfish af. And I love him and I want to support his decision. But this just makes me sad...he also saw I was sad today and asked me to explain it and I tried to find an excuse.
4 months

Fattening boyfriend

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MalyPrinc   Czech Republic
Joined 11 years
Break up with him, please. He deserves someone better than you.
4 months

Fattening boyfriend

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Angy523   Russian Federation
Joined 2 years
MalyPrinc:
Break up with him, please. He deserves someone better than you.


I told him a random guy has this opinion. He said that guy must be an idiot. I totally agree
4 months

Fattening boyfriend

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Angy523   Russian Federation
Joined 2 years
MalyPrinc:
Break up with him, please. He deserves someone better than you.


I told him a random guy has this opinion. He said that guy must be an idiot. I totally agree
4 months

Fattening boyfriend

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MalyPrinc   Czech Republic
Joined 11 years
MalyPrinc:
Break up with him, please. He deserves someone better than you.

Angy523:
I told him a random guy has this opinion. He said that guy must be an idiot. I totally agree


Maybe if you show him your posts here he'll change his opinion about me.
4 months

Fattening boyfriend

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Angy523   Russian Federation
Joined 2 years
MalyPrinc:
Break up with him, please. He deserves someone better than you.

Angy523:
I told him a random guy has this opinion. He said that guy must be an idiot. I totally agree

MalyPrinc:
Maybe if you show him your posts here he'll change his opinion about me.

RegularGhost15:
Yeah so I understand being told you should break up won't work on communicating you're being an asshole, but I do want to emphasize that you ARE being an asshole. If you were a dude complaining that you don't find your GF as attractive anymore because she gained a little weight you'd be rightfully ripped apart, and so I don't have any issue saying you need to reevaluate your feelings here. You're letting sex run your feelings, and I think that's sad for both of you. I think you already understand this since you aren't talking to him about this, but I think you should just so he knows what's going on.


Maybe you don't or can't pay attention, BUT my problem was HOW should I comunicate with him or HOW to not feel sad about this. I didn't ask if I'm wrong or not because guess what: it's OUR relationship, not yours. Everyone can have their own rules for a relationship and we didn't ask for your permission.

We, as a couple, agreed since we first met sex will be 80% of our relationship. And we discuss the possiblity of not being as attractive for each other in the future. We both agreed that we will love each orher anyways, we won't cheat, but we agreed it can happen to not be as attracted if one of us changed how he looks (not when we get old, this was another topic).

I won't consider my boyfriend an asshole if I'll get fat and he won't be as attracted (physically) to me for example or whatever. It's the harsh reality some of you can't accept. In a realationship where sex is very important (and for us it is since it happens like 3-4 times a day or even more if we stay home) it is absolutely normal to care about physical appearance.

BUT this don't change our love. This is the BIG difference between love and physical attraction. If you want to put "=" between those two, it's just your problem. I will love him the same anyway, but the dynamic of our relatiosnhip can change. It will be less about sex and more about hugs maybe, idk.

Also, if this was a big deal for me or us, trust me I wouldn't ask for some random strangers' opinions.
4 months

Fattening boyfriend

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Angy523   Russian Federation
Joined 2 years
Angy523:
Sooo...we were happy and everything was really good. He gained more weight and I felt like he is the sexiest in the world and the sex was awesome. Also, I asked him many times if he feels good about his gaining and he told me yes.
But yesterday he wore his uniform after 1 month and he felt his belt was hurting him. And today his annoying mother told him he got too fat. A few hours after that he told me he wants to lose weight until his uniform will fit well again. I tried to tell him to adjust the belt, but he told me it's the right size, but it hurts when he sits and the belly hangs over it...or when he bends. So I had to accept this argument. Ofc I don't want him to feel pain.

Before judging me again, I want to tell you that I LOVE HIM no matter what. And I will love him even if he'll ever be skinny. But I was sad all day because I just know I won't see him as attractive as I see him now. And we had many problems with our sex life because he thought I'm not as attracted to him as I should...it wasn't true, I was either stressed with some exams or having other problems and I explained to him. But he always doubted that.
Idk what I'll do when this would be actually true. I know I won't be attracted as I am now. Ofc I'll still like him, but it will be a difference for sure.
Usually the best solution is to talk to him. But how should I tell him something like this? I would be selfish af. And I love him and I want to support his decision. But this just makes me sad...he also saw I was sad today and asked me to explain it and I tried to find an excuse.

ForeverFFA:
It's okay to feel disappointment about those kinds of things, and I disagree with other people saying that makes you somehow a bad person for having those feelings. It's important to respect his wishes, obviously, but it sounds like you already know that. Have you thought about asking him if his sudden desire to lose weight is just about the uniform fitting, or if it's something deeper that's concerning him right now? That might be a place to start.


He told me his belly started to get in the way. He can't bend over that easily anymore, he gets tired faster and other things like that. Also, probably it's not that easy to hear from many people that he got fat and he's not looking so good anymore.

I really understand him and I want to support him, but at the same time one part of me just wants to beg him not to lose weight. Ofc I won't do that, I will never accept him doing something for me which makes him unhappy.

It's just...the things were really good and he made it seem like he actually enjoyed his weight gain so I didn't expect this and I'm sad about it.
4 months

Fattening boyfriend

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Angy523   Russian Federation
Joined 2 years
Angy523:
Sooo...we were happy and everything was really good. He gained more weight and I felt like he is the sexiest in the world and the sex was awesome. Also, I asked him many times if he feels good about his gaining and he told me yes.
But yesterday he wore his uniform after 1 month and he felt his belt was hurting him. And today his annoying mother told him he got too fat. A few hours after that he told me he wants to lose weight until his uniform will fit well again. I tried to tell him to adjust the belt, but he told me it's the right size, but it hurts when he sits and the belly hangs over it...or when he bends. So I had to accept this argument. Ofc I don't want him to feel pain.

Before judging me again, I want to tell you that I LOVE HIM no matter what. And I will love him even if he'll ever be skinny. But I was sad all day because I just know I won't see him as attractive as I see him now. And we had many problems with our sex life because he thought I'm not as attracted to him as I should...it wasn't true, I was either stressed with some exams or having other problems and I explained to him. But he always doubted that.
Idk what I'll do when this would be actually true. I know I won't be attracted as I am now. Ofc I'll still like him, but it will be a difference for sure.
Usually the best solution is to talk to him. But how should I tell him something like this? I would be selfish af. And I love him and I want to support his decision. But this just makes me sad...he also saw I was sad today and asked me to explain it and I tried to find an excuse.

ForeverFFA:
It's okay to feel disappointment about those kinds of things, and I disagree with other people saying that makes you somehow a bad person for having those feelings. It's important to respect his wishes, obviously, but it sounds like you already know that. Have you thought about asking him if his sudden desire to lose weight is just about the uniform fitting, or if it's something deeper that's concerning him right now? That might be a place to start.


He told me his belly started to get in the way. He can't bend over that easily anymore, he gets tired faster and other things like that. Also, probably it's not that easy to hear from many people that he got fat and he's not looking so good anymore.

I really understand him and I want to support him, but at the same time one part of me just wants to beg him not to lose weight. Ofc I won't do that, I will never accept him doing something for me which makes him unhappy.

It's just...the things were really good and he made it seem like he actually enjoyed his weight gain so I didn't expect this and I'm sad about it.
4 months

Fattening boyfriend

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Angy523   Russian Federation
Joined 2 years
RegularGhost15:
If you were a dude complaining that you don't find your GF as attractive anymore because she gained a little weight you'd be rightfully ripped apart


I forgot to mention: first of all, this guy won't be ripped apart for not finding his gf as attractive as he was before. He'll be judged for wanting to break up with her for that, for not loving ger anymore, for criticising her and many things like that. It's absolutely normal to not find someone as attractive as you thought he was if he changes the way he looks.
But, you realise this isn't the same thing right? It's something to complain about your partener changing the way he looks if it already happened just because. It's something else if your partener wants to do it, but haven't done it yet.
If your gf wants to shave her head and you know you'll find this totally unattractive, you'll try to stop her and you won't be judged for that. It's absolutely normal to try to prevent a change you know will affect your attraction to your partener as long as at the end of the day you let her decide and you don't manipulate her.

I don't consider I'm the bad guy for telling my boyfriend he looks better now and that I would prefer him not losing weight. If I would ever tell him I won't find him attractive at all if he loses weight or I will break up with him or if I try to manipulate him using sex...yeah, in that case I would agree with you.
4 months

Fattening boyfriend

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GrowingLoveHandles   United States
Joined 10 years
Angy523:
Sooo...we were happy and everything was really good. He gained more weight and I felt like he is the sexiest in the world and the sex was awesome. Also, I asked him many times if he feels good about his gaining and he told me yes.
But yesterday he wore his uniform after 1 month and he felt his belt was hurting him. And today his annoying mother told him he got too fat. A few hours after that he told me he wants to lose weight until his uniform will fit well again. I tried to tell him to adjust the belt, but he told me it's the right size, but it hurts when he sits and the belly hangs over it...or when he bends. So I had to accept this argument. Ofc I don't want him to feel pain.

Before judging me again, I want to tell you that I LOVE HIM no matter what. And I will love him even if he'll ever be skinny. But I was sad all day because I just know I won't see him as attractive as I see him now. And we had many problems with our sex life because he thought I'm not as attracted to him as I should...it wasn't true, I was either stressed with some exams or having other problems and I explained to him. But he always doubted that.
Idk what I'll do when this would be actually true. I know I won't be attracted as I am now. Ofc I'll still like him, but it will be a difference for sure.
Usually the best solution is to talk to him. But how should I tell him something like this? I would be selfish af. And I love him and I want to support his decision. But this just makes me sad...he also saw I was sad today and asked me to explain it and I tried to find an excuse.

ForeverFFA:
It's okay to feel disappointment about those kinds of things, and I disagree with other people saying that makes you somehow a bad person for having those feelings. It's important to respect his wishes, obviously, but it sounds like you already know that. Have you thought about asking him if his sudden desire to lose weight is just about the uniform fitting, or if it's something deeper that's concerning him right now? That might be a place to start.


Feelings are just that, feelings.

I don’t know anyone who can totally control their feelings. It’s what you do with those feelings that matters.

You’re not a bad person. I’m not one to judge anyway. You never asked to be judged in any of this forum. You asked some advice.

I’m not one to give advice on this, but I think you are pretty wise in your approach and your thinking. You can listen to what others suggest, but it’s your future and his future. You all get to work it out and decide what to do with your love.

And it sounds like you both have great love and respect for each other. Best to you both through all these difficult times.
4 months
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