Gaining

I have been thinking recently about the reason and the perception of gaining weight in our societies, and I still have interrogations I would like to share, mainly with women.

First about the reason of the weight preference : as usual we have to think from the point of view of a "caveman" which means a male human free of social constructions and adapted to survive in a natural environment.

I am convinced that most of us males are attracted to fatter women because from the point of view of a caveman they are more susceptible to survive pregnancy and to feed a baby. I think there is a consensus on this idea, though I am talking about 80% of men having a preference for voluptuous females. I really think we are a lot. The threshold of "being too fat" might differ but the concept is the same: fatter is better.

I also think that this trend increased naturally with the adoption of clothing features which started to hid the female body and required more generous figures to be noticeable though fabrics.

From my point of view, many of the men saying "fat is gross" are only repeating a concept acquired from social constructions and are secretly aroused by the idea of a larger woman. In short, they say they don’t like fat women to conform with their social surroundings but at the same time they think they would love to squeeze these women.

Though, I am wondering if on the opposite side with the development of the "cavewoman", women acquired the natural willingness to get plumper in order to attract more cavemen? It doesn’t appear so! I have the impression that most women put on weight when they are expecting, but I think that they don’t have a instinctive need to get fat to attract men by opposition of men who will be triggered by their figures.

This discrepancy in the perception of female plumpness is an enigma to my eyes, how males and females developed so differently?

What do women think on this board?

So ... as a muscular female feeder who likes her men plump, I disagree with pretty much everything about this.

This assumes that (at least within feedism) women crave being fat, and the men's bodies aren't really that important. This is a very narrow heteronormative view of things.

This doesn't take into account

Mutual gainers
Fit FFAs and female feeders
Male feedees
LGBTQIA+
People who prefer other body types and are not fatphobic

This also assumes that cavewomen only existed to get fat and have babies. However, cavewomen were out and about doing hard labor for survival all the time.

I think it's much simpler than that. People like what they like for a variety of reasons. You can't codify it because everyone is unique. It's like how two people can like the same color or song for a variety of reasons.

My question is obviously focused on heterosexual relationships, sorry maybe I should have introduced it this way.

I am not denying all orientations (which have always existed by the way) but I am on purpose building hypothesis on a "traditional" relationship as I am convinced its primordial causes still influence all orientations today.

Ok well, I'm a straight woman. I'm buff and have no interest in being fat. And while I like men of all body types, I prefer them fat. My mere existence kinda blows a hole into that theory.

You are trying to start a different debate. History is full of hard working women who accomplished in many cases more that what men could achieve. My point is that we are hardwired by our own evolution and many of our reactions are influenced by very deep instincts. We are a bunch clever animals after all.



I disagree with that. The fact that we are all different shouldn’t make us deny the trends and instincts that evolution gave to us. This argument is kind of political, I respect it but I think it is part of a different realm.

Thanks for your answer, I think it is an important point you’re making. I am not affirming my theory is an absolute rule though, there are exceptions (but only for exceptional people 😁)

Or maybe you crave being fat but do not allow you to accede to your fantasy, and as a compensation you project this inaccessible dream to your partners? This trigger could be at a completely unconscious level.

Just trying … 😁

Cave dwellers didn't have a diet industry, fashion industry, today's societal pressures, and the majority of us don't hunt for our food.

Hell, I can't even grow vegetables. 😂

Unless you're trying to attach what others call a "lizard brain" theory to weight and body composition, this reads to me as grasping at straws trying to validate preferences. Which really, isn't needed. 😁👍

And what do you mean by traditional? Because there are entire cultures out there that expect the man to be fat and the woman to be slimmer. Usually, these are non-European cultures.

And where I live in the American South, a "traditional" involves a well fed man and a much smaller woman.

So "traditional" is cultural specific.

Wow. No braincells McGee over here.

I'm actually an ex-gainer. I started out as an underweight woman who wanted to be fat. But as I gained weight, I realized I didn't want to be fat at all. I just didn't want to be skinny. I also discovered that I really love being muscular. I don't think I'd be happy fat.

Meanwhile I love spoiling my feedee and pushing him to his limits. It makes me happier than anything I ever did feeding myself.