For women, femme, and non-binary/gnc friends: what would a safe fa space look like to you?

Joined 2 years

Miachu:
I will say this,

I don't think some men realise just how much women have to put up with. From having to deal with in real life harassment to online also. heck i got assaulted by a man the other day, simply for doing my job

So many guys message us, asking for pics, because they want to know what you look like. When you decline them, they then instead of respecting your decision, beginning to question you, asking why? Making you feel like you need to justify yourself to them.
And same goes when they ask to message somewhere else, you respectfully say no, but then they begin to ask you why, and try and purswade you to message some place else.

I think a start to having a safe space, would to let people learn how to be a bit more respectable towards women as a whole, seeing us more as something they can maybe hook up with, the amount of random guys on here who have asked me out not long into a convo is beyond silly now, and even just recently, a guy telling me these "scenarios" if we where to date and stuff like that. It's honestly beginning to become so draining at this point, that I mostly just ignore men now on here, because 90% of the time, it's something I've experienced before from them. Just pushing stuff onto you, without you asking them to

It's just time we all have to learn some manors and respect

Horror Doll:
Exactly!

This is why we need a safe space for women, enbies and gender non conforming with no men whatsoever!

Even good men won't be allowed because they should know how people like us suffer from creepy men!

Only question would be now is if transgender men would be allowed?

A couple of other people mentioned this, but I want to say my piece.

I also find it problematic to exclude people by gender. Not only is it impractical, but I find the ethics questionable.

A few scenarios to consider:

A woman who came to this safe space discovers that she is actually trans. If he comes out, he would lose his safe space

Transwomen who are early into their transition, cannot afford to medically transition, or choose not to medically transition, could not enjoy the safe space.

This safe space would be riddled with TERFs.

Masculine-aligned non-binary people would be excluded - especially if they were amab.

Gender non-conforming amab people could not enjoy the safe space.

It would require people to prove their gender. This means you would need to have government documents to join a fetish site. Plus, not everyone is able to provide that - especially the poor.

People attracted to women or feminine presenting people could safely enjoy the dating/hook up culture on this site. People attracted to men would have to go elsewhere - defeating the purpose of the site.

I hope you can understand my position.

1 year

For women, femme, and non-binary/gnc friends: what would a safe fa space look like to you?

Alone

Joined 15 years

Even good men won't be allowed because they should know how people like us suffer from creepy men!

No good thing ever started with exclusion.

1 year

For women, femme, and non-binary/gnc friends: what would a safe fa space look like to you?

Malvineous

Joined 17 years

Personally, I'm not bothered with women making a girls only club if they want to. Although, I think the objections Munchies raised are all valid.

Bumble has a mechanism for preventing men from messaging first. There are also women-only facebook groups, subreddits, forums, etc. Maybe the safe space you're looking for already exists in some form?

That's not meant to discourage whatever this project is. I'm still not sure what someone is supposed to do on the site, other than feel safe. Is it for discussion, microblogging, networking, dating, or what? Knowing what it's specifically for could change your method of moderating it.

1 year

For women, femme, and non-binary/gnc friends: what would a safe fa space look like to you?

Munchies

Joined 2 years

Krystal Saphira:
I had realized long ago that there is no such place as a "safe place". Some places are just safer than others and we all do our best to keep our own selves safe.

I have known Ditzy for many years. I have never felt unsafe around her. Understanding can go in more than one direction. Thank you.

Ditzy isn't really the focus here. No one said they felt safe or unsafe around her.

What happened was *I* said that as a WOC, a very specific group of white people were problematic. Ditzy misunderstood what I said and thought I was attacking white people as a whole and got upset.

She further misunderstood the point of the thread (what would a hypothetical safe space look like) and said all voices should be heard. She also mentioned I should just block people that I find threatening.

Lora Dayton then clarified to Ditzy that I wasn't attacking white people as a whole and what the purpose of this thread is. And the matter was dropped.

That's all this was. A case of misunderstanding and getting upset due to the misunderstanding. No one thought that Ditzy was unsafe to be around.

1 year

For women, femme, and non-binary/gnc friends: what would a safe fa space look like to you?

Munchies

Joined 2 years

Even good men won't be allowed because they should know how people like us suffer from creepy men!

AnotherLonelyAgingNerd:
No good thing ever started with exclusion.

I suppose it depends on what you are excluding.

I am with you on exclusion based on gender. But, if a person is part of a group that is actively harmful, then excluding them isn't a bad thing.

That being said, screening such people out before they join is probably not feasible.

1 year

For women, femme, and non-binary/gnc friends: what would a safe fa space look like to you?

Munchies

Joined 2 years

Malvineous:
Personally, I'm not bothered with women making a girls only club if they want to. Although, I think the objections Munchies raised are all valid.

Bumble has a mechanism for preventing men from messaging first. There are also women-only facebook groups, subreddits, forums, etc. Maybe the safe space you're looking for already exists in some form?

That's not meant to discourage whatever this project is. I'm still not sure what someone is supposed to do on the site, other than feel safe. Is it for discussion, microblogging, networking, dating, or what? Knowing what it's specifically for could change your method of moderating it.

This thread is more about a hypothetical safe space rather than what a person would do within this safe space. Another thread for another day, perhaps. Not a bad discussion to have, though.

1 year

For women, femme, and non-binary/gnc friends: what would a safe fa space look like to you?

Miachu

Joined 3 years

AnonLovesBlubber:
Lol this toxic thread needs to be deleted. This is an awful mentality, saying all men are creeps and blah blah muh safe space

Ngl, your comment dose kinda prove how some males really don't take issues women have and experience seriously, and simply classes them as toxic

Your right, not all men are creeps. But there is a large amount of them and the women here are simply just expressing their experiences and thoughts, and out of all the people who have contributed to this forum thread. Yours comes of the most immature and toxic

1 year

For women, femme, and non-binary/gnc friends: what would a safe fa space look like to you?

LoraDayton

Joined 16 years

The irony of how their username also embodies exactly what we're talking about: person not interested in connecting with us as people, just seeing us as blubber. On point.

1 year

For women, femme, and non-binary/gnc friends: what would a safe fa space look like to you?

Munchies

Joined 2 years

AnonLovesBlubber:
Lol this toxic thread needs to be deleted. This is an awful mentality, saying all men are creeps and blah blah muh safe space

Hun, Fantasy Feeder is a safe space for feedists. You are actively particpating in a safe space. Imagine what would happen if a bunch of health nuts or some fat phobic people came in like a wrecking ball?

Chaos

And only *one* user said "no men". It was two posts, and more than one person said it was a bad idea - myself included.

1 year

For women, femme, and non-binary/gnc friends: what would a safe fa space look like to you?

Quiver

Joined 3 years

LoraDayton:
Many of us know how wild it can get out there and how frustrating it can be in these spaces.

I'm working on a couple of fun projects and worldbuilding things and it got me thinking. I know what I personally would like to see if things were ~ideal~ in this FA world but wanted to hear what others thought also!

Keep in mind this is NOT to disparage orcriticze any current network (especially this one!) or to request features. I'm not a mod I don't have that power lol! This is about the FA/feedist community as a whole.

Literally just to think out loud!

Munchies:
I do not ask for much, tbh. I just want an inbox free of creeps, not to have to fight people on basic human rights, to be respected as a person first, and to have the ability to easily block and report people who are terrible.

Just popping in to bump this concept. It’s so basic and yet seemingly so difficult to attain. If I want to block someone for being misogynistic, transphobic etc, i want to see them actually, fully blocked. We have the technology!

1 year

General

For women, femme, and non-binary/gnc friends: what would a safe fa space look like to you?

For women, femme, and non-binary/gnc friends: what would a safe fa space look like to you?

For women, femme, and non-binary/gnc friends: what would a safe fa space look like to you?

For women, femme, and non-binary/gnc friends: what would a safe fa space look like to you?

For women, femme, and non-binary/gnc friends: what would a safe fa space look like to you?

For women, femme, and non-binary/gnc friends: what would a safe fa space look like to you?

For women, femme, and non-binary/gnc friends: what would a safe fa space look like to you?

For women, femme, and non-binary/gnc friends: what would a safe fa space look like to you?

For women, femme, and non-binary/gnc friends: what would a safe fa space look like to you?

For women, femme, and non-binary/gnc friends: what would a safe fa space look like to you?