General

Too fat for feeders but too fit for feeders?

Munchies:
Being a woman is very hard in online feedist spaces. Female FAs and feeders have a unique challenge because so many feedists see being an FA or a feeder as a masculine thing and being a feedee as a feminine thing.

I am not saying this to say that female FAs and feeders have it worse than female feedees. God knows the kind of abuse I've seen them go through. I'm simply saying that we have different struggles.

I have lost count for the number of men who cannot believe a woman can be anything but a feedee. Some of them have tried their hardest to "convert" me to become one because "that's what women do". They have threatened, harrassed, and attempted to manipulate me just because I don't fit into their weird gender expectations.

I know why they think that way. When online feedist spaces first started, nearly all feeders and FAs were men and nearly all feedees were women. Even though times have changed, some things still linger.

Think about it. Why are men FAs and not MFAs? Why do some people think it's weird if a woman refers to herself as an FA and not an FFA? We've made great strides as a community, but we still have a ways to go.

Most female FAs and feeders are not crazy. If they don't feel welcome, they will leave. I don't blame them. Hell, some days I feel like I'm still here out of spite and not a desire to be around like minded people.

Things aren't as bad as they used to be, but they still aren't great. It's my hope that we has a community can make this place safer for women. It's win-win. If more women feel safe enough to be here, then it won't be has hard for male gainers and feedees to find femals FAs and feeders.

DMVGrower:
You know, that is sort of interesting if you think about it. Considering how the idea of a woman "fattening up her man" whether out of desire or to keep other women off him, or because she likes cooking for him is such a common thing. And even our collectie folk tales feature men being the ones who get fat, like Hansel and Gretel.


What an ... interesting response to me talking about the strugglings women face.
10 months

Too fat for feeders but too fit for feeders?

Munchies:
Being a woman is very hard in online feedist spaces. Female FAs and feeders have a unique challenge because so many feedists see being an FA or a feeder as a masculine thing and being a feedee as a feminine thing.

I am not saying this to say that female FAs and feeders have it worse than female feedees. God knows the kind of abuse I've seen them go through. I'm simply saying that we have different struggles.

I have lost count for the number of men who cannot believe a woman can be anything but a feedee. Some of them have tried their hardest to "convert" me to become one because "that's what women do". They have threatened, harrassed, and attempted to manipulate me just because I don't fit into their weird gender expectations.

I know why they think that way. When online feedist spaces first started, nearly all feeders and FAs were men and nearly all feedees were women. Even though times have changed, some things still linger.

Think about it. Why are men FAs and not MFAs? Why do some people think it's weird if a woman refers to herself as an FA and not an FFA? We've made great strides as a community, but we still have a ways to go.

Most female FAs and feeders are not crazy. If they don't feel welcome, they will leave. I don't blame them. Hell, some days I feel like I'm still here out of spite and not a desire to be around like minded people.


DMVGrower:
You know, that is sort of interesting if you think about it. Considering how the idea of a woman "fattening up her man" whether out of desire or to keep other women off him, or because she likes cooking for him is such a common thing. And even our collective folk tales feature men being the ones who get fat, like Hansel and Gretel.


Do you understand that she and other women here were expressing how they don’t feel safe and comfortable talking to men because of the constant fetishization and sexualization that goes on, even after they have expressed they have no interest in it? Seems like you missed it.
10 months

Too fat for feeders but too fit for feeders?

Ex Jock:
Kind of off topic but on the train of where the discussion was going. I think (unfortunately) it will always be an issue in the community with the creepy chats and DMs. People are horny and talk with their dick regardless of what is on a persons profile, and the anonymity of the internet basically lets them get away with it without consequence. They either get blocked or told off, in which they can just make new profiles and do it again. The creeps, doxxing, and stalkers in the community have ruined even careful people, and I’ll never blame anyone for not showing their face or disappearing altogether.

It’s is sad but I don’t see it getting better, because I don’t know what would/could change that would make it. Some people just simply do not care.
They either disturbingly think they deserved it, do it out of retaliation for being ignored/rejected, or think of feeders/ees as sort of like characters instead of person behind the account.


Pretty much. Honestly, the best protection we can have is robust moderation and good reporting systems
10 months
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